Quitting a job advice

[chicago]

I work at a university in Admissions. In August I left University A to take a position at University B. I left A because there was no room for advancement and my pay was stagnant. My new role at B has been fine. I like some of the people but from day one I have second guessed my decision to leave and have been worried I made the wrong choice to try something new. 

Three weeks ago the position I wanted for the last five years at University A opened up. I applied, interviewed and received an offer on Friday. This is a position I know I will love at an institution adored and would feel comfortable working for long-term. I am going to accept the position on Monday. I am really excited and happy about this new role.

I need to resign at University B this week. This news will take everyone by surprise and I feel like they might be very angry and upset. I have been there for less than 5 months. Even though things weren't perfect there in my mind I adopted a "fake it till you make it" attitude so the team has had nothing but eagerness, positivity, etc. the last few months.  This will be coming out of no where.

I'm a people pleaser and am not the best at confrontation. I have never had to do this before. Every other time I have left a job I resigned during a slow time and gave plenty of notice. I need advice for the phrases I should use when talking to my boss tomorrow. I have a tendency to ramble and feel like I need to brainstorm talking points. Do I get into the backstory about how this is my dream job or do I just say I need to resign? Do I talk to her first thing in the morning or at the end of the day? It is a more casual environment where I frequently pop in her office to ask questions/chat should I just walk in and start talking? 

I can give them until Jan 15 (four weeks minus when we are closed for the holidays) but am prepared for the fact they might want me out soon so they don't have to pay my benefits/salary. If need be I could have projects wrapped up by next week. 

[shopgirl07]

Just keep it short and sweet. Tell your boss in person that you're giving 2 (or 4) weeks notice. Be positive, say you appreciated the opportunity and have enjoyed your time there. If she asks then tell her you found your dream job.

[Pom]

First of all, congratulations! That is a wonderful opportunity. I agree with shopgirl, short and sweet. It is bad timing?? Sure, but you have to put yourself first. I hope your current job can be happy for you, since sometimes we don't anticipate these things happening and then they do.

[y4m]

This happens and it will be fine. Agree with the advice that your dream job came up and you regret having to leave so quickly. 4 weeks notice is quite generous in most roles.

[LoveTrains]

I would go in first thing in the morning on Monday (assuming that you have a written offer/signed contract that you have accepted for the new job) and ask to speak to your boss. Tell her that you have accepted a new position and are grateful for the time you have spent at the university.

I think I am similar to you and I dreaded resigning from my old job, but you just have to rip off the band-aid and do it. I think its perfectly fine to offer to stay through Jan 15th - I understand its a busy time in admissions so they might want you to do that while they at least prep the search for your replacement.

Do not go into any backstory - just say you are leaving for an opportunity that you couldn't pass up. Try not to ramble - keep it short and sweet.

Congratulations on your new role!

[insominac]

I was in a similar position, except I left my job after one week for the job that I currently have.

Let's see, I think I went into my supervisor's office after lunch or at the beginning of the day (I forgot) and told her that I took another job that was a better fit for me. It was awkward as hell, but I figured that I had to be "selfish" and look after my own interests. They told me to leave at the end of the day. But nicely. lol

You'll feel awesome when it's all over - just keep thinking about that.

And congrats!

[livinitup]

Congrats! I'm glad you got a great job!!!!

You are overthinking your resignation. You have been there 5 months and just got a better offer, it happens. It's actually a lot easier that you are so new - they will cope with it. Sure, it's a loss that they trained you and all, but whatever. You're leaving. So, what?

Once you have the offer IN HAND (not a moment sooner) hand your boss a print copy of a letter saying "I will be resigning effective xxx date." Keep the letter short, it's a legal document - don't go into details.

If it benefits you to give 4 weeks notice, great. Most health insurance lasts for the whole month, so if you work a day in January, you (pay) and are covered for the whole month.

Honestly, I wouldn't give much past the legally required 2 weeks. And "legally" is a strong word, you probably don't have many benefits to pay out after 5 months working. So, it's more of a job transition courtesy. 2 weeks is enough, 3 is generous.

Really. You're new to a job and landed a better one. Just tell them. Pick a date. Leave. It's quite easy. For everyone. But PLEASE pick a date and stick to it. Don't ASK. Don't fall into a weird awkward thing of trying to be helpful. Dont.

[chicago]

All of your advice is wise, helpful and reassuring! Thank you! I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow. I have a bottle of Prosecco chilling for after work when it is all over. I've been happy and excited about the new job all weekend but don't feel like I can really celebrate until I've actually given my notice. I'm looking forward to 6pm tomorrow!

[LoveTrains]

chicago How did it go?

[chicago]

Dec 14, 2015 12:58:38 GMT -5 LoveTrains said:

chicago How did it go?

My boss has been in meetings all day!  I'm dying!  Her calendar looks free at 4pm.  I was really hoping to get this over first thing in the morning but I'm determined to talk to her before the end of the day.  I'll keep you all posted!

[LoveTrains]

chicago hope you got in to see her at 4!!

[chicago]

I told my boss at the very end of the day. After I told her she replied by saying, "I dont even know what to say to you now. Please leave." So I left and didn't say anything. Tomorrow might be awkward BUT I feel like a giant weight has been lifted. I'm happy about the new job and looking forward to closing this chapter.

I think there is a good chance women in the office will tell me they are disappointed in me when they hear the news. I love higher education but it seems a lot more emotional than other sectors. I need to stay positive and keep reminding myself how miserable I would be if I had let this opportunity pass me by!

Thanks for all the assistance/advice! I appreciate it so much!

[lagom]

Yikes to her comment, but the telling is over! Now you can start the countdown.

Did you give them the full month's notice?

[LoveTrains]

As someone who works in higher ed (and now independent schools) - I'm sorry she reacted that way! But I get it about people being more emotional and taking things VERY personally when really, its just business.

Glad you just ripped off the band aid and did it and congratulations again on dream job! I'm so happy for you.

[bostonmichelle]

Congratulations on your new job! Sorry your boss reacted that way. I hope tomorrow (and the rest of your time there) is not terribly awkward for you.

[Deleted]

chicago congratulations on your dream job! I'm so happy for you.

I'm sad your boss reacted that way. (Even when I have had that reaction, I choke it down in the moment and give the employee effusive congratulations in the moment....it is hard but the right thing to do!) Good for you for biting the bullet and telling her as fast as possible!

[MrsDarcy]

Dang, her reaction sucked. But, congrats to you! I know you're relieved to have that part behind you.

[Deleted]

I'm glad you didn't do it first thing. As a manager, I'm totally used to people resigning. Expectedly, unexpectedly, whatever, it's totally fine. But I HATE when they do it before 10am Monday. Give me a chance to get settled, please.

[chicago]

This morning she apologized for her reaction and asked if there was anything she could offer me to stay. Then she lectured me about how when I accepted the position I was making a long-term commitment and how she is disappointed. I explained that my decision is made up and that this is the best thing for me right now. My last day will be 1/8/16 and I'll start my new position on 1/11/16. She wants me to keep it quiet this week while she figures out her plan. 2015 has been a wild ride job wise and I am so looking forward to stability in 2016.

Also I never drink on weeknights and polished off a whole bottle of wine last night so I think my slight hangover allowed me to remain calm and not overly emotional during our conversation today so that is a plus!

[Pom]

LOL at the lecture. Feel free to be disappointed lady, it comes with the territory. It's too bad she couldn't take the high road and simply be gracious and "act" happy for you. I have literally wanted close my door and to cry all alone after good employees resign, but you still put on a happy face and wish them well.

So that said, we will all be very happy for you here.

[drloretta]

I had a similar situation last year. I'd only been there 6 months and my boss literally deflated when I told her I was leaving. No lecture, but last-ditch attempts to try and keep me there. Thank goodness I didn't even consider it.

She sounds like a peach. Glad you're getting out of there.