How do you handle it when one parent is sick?

[pinotgrig]

Are they relieved of parenting duties or do they still help out?

If you didn't see my post in the randoms, H started feeling bad last night. Tired, achy, said his BP was low (114/60), and his pulse was fast. No fever. Fine. We go to bed early, he's up and down all night and finally goes to sleep on the couch so he doesn't get me sick.

This morning, G was up an hour earlier than normal, which is usually when I'm getting ready. He's tired and cranky and only wants to be held. H begs off, worried about getting him sick and says dr. Google says he's coming down with the flu. This leaves me trying to get ready with a cranky, crying toddler while H lays around on the couch.

Was I wrong to really, really irritated? He does have hypochondriac tendencies, which is why I'm not being very sympathetic.

How does this go down in your house?

[ECB]

Yup, depends on how sick. Head cold? Get up and handle your kid. Achy, utterly exhausted? I give DH a pass. As he does for me!

But DH is "honest" about how he's feeling and I can also usually tell if he's just "eh, not feeling his best" vs "he's SICK".

[humpforfree]

Depends on which parent. If H is sick, it's that same as your H. If I am sick... well everything still needs to be taken care of and someone has to do it...
It really irritates me and we've discussed it before after I was sick and still had to do all my normal stuff. Luckily I only had L then and he was small enough (7 months?) that I could stick him in bed next to me with toys. Last week we al had a stomach bug and I felt pukey Thursday morning and asked H to stay home. He had a meeting so still went to work- I think he also didn't take me fully seriously because I didn't actually puke (I don't puke like ever). Sure enough that night HE was puking and he realized that I actually had been sick and had to take care of a be worn and toddler while feeling like that. Anyway, he felt bad and when I still didn't feel well yesterday am he did take over all toddler duty.

[Willis Jackson]

Dec 14, 2015 8:33:52 GMT -5 chilerellanos said:

Depends how sick?

If they're REALLY SICK, anything GI related or something else (high fevers, etc) the sick parent generally gets to rest and stay in bed.

For normal stuff like colds and stuff, we are not absolved of our duties!

Samesies.

For colds the sick parent might try to catch a nap on the weekend or something.

[ssmjlm]

In your case, I would have plopped the kid down in front of the tv near DH with some milk and said "make sure he doesn't kill himself while I finish getting ready."

Unless it's the flu or a horrible stomach bug, we suck it up. DH got a horrible stomach bug a couple weeks ago from E and he still picked her up from daycare and then they just watched tv until I got home from work to do dinner and bed.

[oswin]

I basically only get illnesses from the kids these days, so there's not much concern about keeping the germs away from them. I think only stomach bugs or high fevers warrant quarantine.

[gibbinator]

It depends. If it looks like one parent is going to get something like a stomach bug, they are basically quarantined. The healthy parent then compensates using Netflix to babysit.
If it's just a cold, or something else that appears minor (so no fever or vomiting), then the sick parent gets light duties and is required to practice very strict hygiene.
So unless your H was actually at risk of fainting, he'd probably be at least on duty to mind the kid in front of the TV.

ETA: you say he was up and down all night. Was getting sick? Usually stomach bugs mess you up for days after the initial puking.

[SallySparrow]

H rarely gets sick, so when he does, he gets time to rest.

And he's cut me a lot of slack the past few months, with me being so sick this pregnancy.

[pinotgrig]

Dec 14, 2015 8:41:33 GMT -5 ssmjlm said:

In your case, I would have plopped the kid down in front of the tv near DH with some milk and said "make sure he doesn't kill himself while I finish getting ready."

Unless it's the flu or a horrible stomach bug, we suck it up. DH got a horrible stomach bug a couple weeks ago from E and he still picked her up from daycare and then they just watched tv until I got home from work to do dinner and bed.

We tried this but G was having none of it. He wanted to be held only. :/ Normally he would cuddle with H, but since H wanted to keep his distance it was either put him down and listen to him scream or hold him.

Our house was overall very cranky this am. Lol

[Deleted]

I would give him a pass with the stipulation he go to the doctor today. Otherwise he would be helping. In my house you can go to bed early if you arent feeling welll but you are expected to share in responsibilities.

[redwino]

In this instance, the sick person has to keep an eye on the baby but doesn't do much else. Neither of us has been majorly sick in the our 8 months of parenting so it hasn't been a huge deal. We've just needed a day or rest here and there so the other parent took over.

[holly116]

This was a hard lesson in our house. DH "just wants to be left alone" when he doesn't feel well.

LOL. Ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Hahahahahahaha.

Don't we all? But yeah that's not the life we're living. So suck it up. He claims I'm mean, I just refuse to overindulge. He was also an adamant refuser of medicine when I met him. So that slight head cold would end up as a raging infection because he was too big of a man to take Advil and sudafed when it first began. Yeah, no. He no longer has that luxury and guess what, he's been MUCH healthier.

Question, did your DH get his flu shot? Because if not, that would probably be my first battle lol. No one has time for the flu. Otherwise, if he's not sick enough for the doctor and it's not a stomach bug, take some meds and suck it up.

[bowies]

Dec 14, 2015 8:33:52 GMT -5 chilerellanos said:

Depends how sick?

If they're REALLY SICK, anything GI related or something else (high fevers, etc) the sick parent generally gets to rest and stay in bed.

For normal stuff like colds and stuff, we are not absolved of our duties!

Same.

[kdubs923]

Depends. If he's actually sick, I wouldn't tell him to suck it up and then leave him on toddler duty all day long. But with most sickness, I'd assume he could rally for 20 minutes while I get ready and then I'd drop the kid off at daycare. Then he can nap in bed all day long to recover.

I can't imagine he was just so sick he couldn't help for a few this morning.

[thebreakfastclub]

I am sick about once a year, and my H is sick maybe every 3 years. If he said he was sick, I would certainly respect that, because I know he's legit.

I have had a lingering cough the past 2 weeks, and H has done a lot more so I could rest and go to bed early. I only missed one day of work, but I was really tired by the end of the day. He took care of a ton of stuff and also took DS out on the weekends so I could relax.

[Deleted]

My H is very, very rarely sick. He hasnt had a cold in the 16 years Ive known him. But when he got the stomach bug last year he was off duty.

If I'm sick, it varies. Since I'm alone with the kids all afternoon H might take over kid duty when he gets home so I can rest, assuming it's sick with a fever or something and not just a cold. If it's a cold I'm more likely to just keep powering through. Stomach bug and I'm off duty.