Funny things your kids are saying

[mrsjrd23]

DH's guilty pleasure is treating himself to a box of Cocoa Puffs occasionally - it's been his favorite since childhood.

I decided to indulge myself and have a bowl of them this weekend.  This is the conversation I had with my 3 year old DS while eating them.

DS: You are eating daddy's balls.
Me: Yep. ::snicker::
DS: I want some of daddy's balls.
Me: Gives him 2 cocoa puffs to try.
DS: I like daddy's balls.
Me: bust out laughing.
DH: DS, can you say cocoa puffs?

[Deleted]

DD asked me where my bra was yesterday. SO I show her. Then she says "Daddy wears mommies bra".

She also regularly calls her vagina her little butt. Which is funny but I try to remind her its called a vagina. She does not get it.

[aspentosh]

She likes to ask us how we know something.

Me: sweetie, why is your sleeve wet?
DD: how do you know?
Me: um, because I see your sleeve?!

[tulips]

I was pouring X milk yesterday and some splashed on the table. He looked at me and said, "that's a shame!"

He's also started yelling "yucky kisses!!" if H and I kiss in front of him.

K's new thing is to throw a toy and then go, "oh no!!"

[snowflurry]

I was walking with my 6 y.o. DD this weekend and I made the comment that sometimes I feel like I'm a hundred years old. She immediately says "yeah, I get it sometimes I feel like I'm 7"

[bearbaby]

They're learning Spanish in school.

"DS - how do you say yellow?"
"Mamma Mio!"

[Brie]

His Sunday school class is supposed to sing "Joy to the World" during church this week.

He is absolutely convinced that it is not Heaven and nature doing the singing, but "and Kevin and Kevin sing."

[cincodemayo]

2 houses near us have big inflatable Santas. One of them is sitting on a hill, so it falls over really easily. We have to drive by each house everyday and DS will announce "Big Santa fell down" or "Big Santa get up!!" The one has been fallen down for awhile and yesterday it was finally up. DS was INSANELY happy. "Big Santa got up! That makes Abe happy! I'm so happy Mommy. Big Santa got up!"

[bearbaby]

Dec 15, 2015 9:23:31 GMT -5 @this said:

Dec 15, 2015 9:16:08 GMT -5 bearbaby said:

They're learning Spanish in school.

"DS - how do you say yellow?"
"Mamma Mio!"

This reminds me! If we say anything about Spanish DD randomly yells, "HOLA DIAS!!!!!"

We tried to explain "hola" OR "buenos dias," but... no. Hola dias it is. lol

One of DS's friends has a little brother named Matteo.

Or, as DS and all of this friends call him: "Matatoes!"

[djc315]

We told N about the baby, and a) he only calls it "she" and b) asks CONSTANTLY how "his baby" is doing. He also will ask to make sure I'm not hurting the baby - example: he asked why he couldn't get his waffle out of the toaster and I said because he would burn himself. After I got it out, he said "did you burn yourself?" I said no and then he asked "Did you burn my baby?" /dead

[djc315]

Oh, and the past few days, any time we've been on a big bridge/freeway overpass he looks around and goes "That could break and we would fall down to the bottom"

I am thinking that I need to avoid all bridges now.

[aspentosh]

We constantly remind her she is more than just beautiful, she is also smart, strong, brave, and able to do whatever she puts her mind to.

So she likes to talk about how she is "muscle girl". She does this by flexing her spaghetti arms and screaming "SUPER STRONG MUSCLE GIRL!!!!!!!" all the time.

We also had a conversation yesterday about how daddy's abs like to hide behind the cookies we bake, so she pointed to her stomach and said "there is my cookie, and the macaroni and cheese, and the grapes and the....". It was hilarious.

[hilwithonelary]

At the dentist yesterday, DS said, "Tickle fights are only at home where no one can see." Luckily, DH was the one who was there, so instead of dying of embarrassment, I got to laugh hysterically.

[sometimesrunner]

So DS has named the baby I'm gestating Olivia. H or I will randomly call the baby Sydney, which he adorably responds "Why are you calling our baby that?!? Her name is OLIVIA!"

Four years and three days ago was when we found out that DS was a boy. I told him this and said "That's when we knew you were Max!" and he replies "So who called me Sydney?" :/

[cherry1111]

I was wearing a cable knit sweater yesterday.

As I was getting DS into his car seat I said "I like your fire truck shirt. It's pretty cool."

He responded "it is cool. I like your snake shirt. It's pretty cool."

[redpenmama]

My daughter was telling me yesterday about the "real-life Grinch" movie (aka Jim Carrey version), which she started to watch with her grandfather last Christmas (and evidently is still traumatized by). She said:

"I was watching it, but then they showed his long fingers. As soon as I saw them, I was like, 'I'm out!'"

[eponinepontmercy]

DD's versions of mild curse words are killing me.

"Holy crab!" which led to "Holy crab cakes!"

She also called Bill Belichick a "jackpot" when I was trying to explain why we don't like the new England Patriots.

[jenn248]

DH was going through the story/song bedtime routine with DD1 the other day. He was singing to her when she turned to him and said, "Why are you still here?" Okay then.

[aspentosh]

Dec 15, 2015 10:04:14 GMT -5 eponinepontmercy said:

DD's versions of mild curse words are killing me.

"Holy crab!" which led to "Holy crab cakes!"

She also called Bill Belichick a "jackpot" when I was trying to explain why we don't like the new England Patriots.

This reminds me that DD used to say "holy moly cow" last year. That always made me giggle.

[aspentosh]

To follow up on her "how do you know" questions...

Me: please stop eating the icing until we are done decorating gingerbread houses.
DD: how do you know I was eating the icing?
Me: let me show you your face.

[halfpint]

Yesterday he kept telling us he wanted "snow flakes" for a snack. We finally got him to point to what he was looking for...yep, a big box of Corn Flakes.

Lately when we ask him a question, or if he wants something/wants to do something, rather than saying no, he'll reply, "Or not".
Me: Do you want a cup of water?
B: *gently pushes cup away* Or not.

My favorite, but most frustrating right now, is that he repeats whatever admonishment we give him WHILE DOING THE BAD THING -

Opens the gate and climbs upstairs by himself - "How did you get up the stairs all by yo'self?"
Grabs ornaments off the bottom of the tree - "It's just to wook at! Don't touch!"
Sticks fingers into the back of his mouth - "Don't choke yo'self!"
Etc, etc...

[halfpint]

Also, I have attempted to modify my swears since he developed ears and the ability to repeat everything we say. I sound ridiculous, like an Orbit commercial.

But it's worth it to hear my two year old say, "Shut the front door!" and "God Donkey!" Lololololol...

[RandZB]

My 4-year old has a puffy vest that he calls a puppy vest, and I'll never correct him.

[oswin]

DD has been saying "oh my goodness" and "oh my gosh" lately, it's adorable. She also has a new game she plays where she puts her animals and dolls down for naptime. It goes like this: "naptime! go to sleep everybody!" as she covers them with a blanket, then a moment later "wake up wake up wake up wake up!" She also makes sure to tell us all the time what belongs to each of us - "Mama's oatmeal, my oatmeal, Daddy's oatmeal". I had to tell her yesterday that I was borrowing Daddy's seat because I happened to be driving his car and she was like "you borrowing Daddy's seat?" So cute.