s/o Parties and Sharing Menus and Bringing Food

[Deleted]

If I'm planning, I try to share the planned menu on Facebook (which is where all my invites happen) so that people can plan. I don't know everyone's issues. I'm never offended if someone wants to bring me food. I only bring food if invited to do so.

[cincodemayo]

I've never shared my menu in advance unless someone asks or is helping me prepare food. I've never thought to do so.

[momin2013]

I don't think I've ever shared a menu beforehand, and I also don't recall anyone ever bringing anything (nor would I expect them to), outside of big dinners like Thanksgiving or Christmas.

[Willis Jackson]

I don't share unless asked. I ask for people to let me know if they have allergies or preferences.

I've never had someone bring their own food.

ETA: I have several vegetarian friends and one celiac/soy allergy who is married to a vegan. Even they don't bring their own food.

[ECB]

Most parties of any real size, honestly, it's usually VERY casual and everyone brings something.

For sit down meals, it's usualy a holiday and kind of a given as what will be served.

The few times we have just a couple people over for a sit down dinner... I don't know that we purposely tell them. Maybe in passing, but not as a "Oh- FYI, here's what we're having" in order for them to somehow accomdate it. If that makes sense.

[anna7602]

I do not share the menus for my kids' birthday parties in advance. If someone has allergies I know of, or dietary restrictions, I do check in with that person/people, but that's about it. This has never been an issue at any of the parties I've had.

When we had a pig roast about 10 years ago, though, I did warn people that the pig would be whole, head and everything. Some people get weirded out by stuff like this, even if they eat pork.

[tulips]

It's pretty common for us to share with immediate family, but not everyone invited. That's probably because we talk several times per week and it comes up.

SIL has celiac, so I will run recipes by her occasionally to be sure there isn't hidden gluten in it.

[lala]

Unless some of it is mentioned b/c of the theme, no I have never announced it. I do loosely think of people's preferences, but loosely. I have also never asked what someone is serving, nor would I ever think to bring something for me or the kids past age 1 or so. Most of the time if someones asks if we need them to bring something, I say no anyway; exceptions being holidays since those tend to be family affairs for us.

[ssmjlm]

I only share menus for holidays if asked, in the same vein of people wanting to bring something.

For E's 2nd birthday I did put down it was breakfast, since we had a 10-12 party.

If someone has an allergy or medical requirement I would definitely want to accommodate them if possible. And I wouldn't be offended if they brought their own food.

[Willis Jackson]

Dec 18, 2015 13:30:48 GMT -5 @mrsbecky said:

Okay so with my SIL who brings take out food. SHe does not eat home cooked food. She does not trust it if she did not make it. So, for Christmas last year, she brought baked ziti.  But it was not rude because she said to my mom "how about if I bring a baked ziti on Christmas dinner" since everyone was bringing something.  So she ate that and only that but it was not like "ew I wont touch your tenderloin MIL."  It came across MUCH better than the times she has brought pizza or subs to family parties.

I'm guessing she's never set foot in a restaurant kitchen.

[IrishBelle]

Dec 18, 2015 13:30:48 GMT -5 @mrsbecky said:

No one has ever really asked me the menu of a party. People ask me what they can bring and I will tell them. If kids are coming (like superbowl party or something) I try to have something kid-friendly - mac and cheese, homemade copycat CFA nuggets, or even just little PBJ sliders. But I do not go out of my way to make sure every taste is accounted for.

This

[momin2013]

Dec 18, 2015 13:51:00 GMT -5 Willis Jackson said:

Dec 18, 2015 13:30:48 GMT -5 @mrsbecky said:

Okay so with my SIL who brings take out food. SHe does not eat home cooked food. She does not trust it if she did not make it. So, for Christmas last year, she brought baked ziti.  But it was not rude because she said to my mom "how about if I bring a baked ziti on Christmas dinner" since everyone was bringing something.  So she ate that and only that but it was not like "ew I wont touch your tenderloin MIL."  It came across MUCH better than the times she has brought pizza or subs to family parties.

I'm guessing she's never set foot in a restaurant kitchen.

Seriously. She "doesn't trust" other people's homemade food, but will eat pizza from a joint where the "cook" is most likely a 16 year-old teenager?

[redheadbaker]

I have vegan friends, so I will confer with them ahead of time to make sure what I'm serving is okay. If a new friend is coming to DS' birthday party, I ask about allergies.

I've never had anyone ask me what I was planning to serve at a party, nor had someone show up with their own food, outside of snacks for babies/toddlers.

[Deleted]

When we're having friends over for dinner, we usually tell them what we're thinking of making ahead of time and asking if that is cool with them. It almost always is, I can't think of a time when we changed our plans but wouldn't be a big deal if someone did have an objection or suggestion.

Offensive to bring your own food? Yes, lol.

[Deleted]

I never share menus. It is very common to bring a dish and/or drinks to holiday parties to share..not birthdays, though. We are going to 2 xmas parties on Saturday and will bring something to each.

[sent]

Nope. Have never shared our menus or known anyone else's menus ahead of time.

If either of us have left the party hungry, we eat when get get home. I sometimes bring something for DD to eat but she's still little, people understand that. And she's reaching the age where she wants what everyone else is having anyways, even if she doesn't eat it.

[MadamePresident]

I will often ask what is being served, since my husband and kids are on a special diet. So if we are going to a b-day party, I might bring my gf daughter her own sweet treat instead of the cupcakes. But we are very discreet about it. At a potluck, I'd just bring something they can eat.

[mlt]

I don't share the menu ahead of time unless it's a part of the party (a BBQ or Friendsgiving). I always offer to bring something to other people's parties but if they say no I stick to bringing wine.

MH's family always shares the menu in advance. It's annoying. They not only share it they all comment on it and obsess over it. Whether the beans will have bacon or almonds, whether the potatoes will be topped with breadcrumbs or crushed crackers. OMG. Who cares?! If we are having dinner at their house MIL will call a week in advance to tell me what she's making. I never have anything to say except "sounds great." Critiquing it would feel rude so I don't. But all of MH's aunts and his grandmother will provide feedback. "Well you know cousin Kevin prefers red potatoes instead of mashed." I think she thinks it's weird that I don't participate in their strange little ritual.

[redpenmama]

I wouldn't share for a birthday party unless asked (in which case I'd happily share). For more informal gatherings (like if we were having a few families over for dinner and drinks), I'd share the general menu, mostly because in those situations, everyone pitches in. So, if I tell them what I'm serving, they can choose something that coordinates and doesn't overlap.

When I'm going to a similar gathering at someone's house, I ask what I can bring. If they say a side dish, I'll ask what the entree is so that I can do something complementary.

[winecheery]

I share the menu with family, because they often help me by bringing an appetizer or dessert to like Thanksgiving, or DD's birthday, etc.

I try to think of all the things: meat/non-meat options, gluten intolerances, preferences I recall from over the years, age of the guests, etc, and cater to that if possible. Most of my birthday parties/showers have themes, and the food will tie in with that. I try to be a thoughtful host, and put a lot of effort into my menus. I fully expect parents of toddlers to have "back up snacks" with them at all times, just because, so if someone busted out with a pouch or whatever for their 3 year old, I am not offended. (fwiw, I actually had pouches in a nice pedestal at DD's first bday, lol) But as kids grow older, I would expect them to be able to find something I serve, because I really do put a lot of energy into it, and consider the children too, obvs.

If someone asks me prior to the event what I am serving, I don't mind sharing at all. I often ask what will be served at events I'm attending because I'm a vegetarian and like to plan accordingly. You know, to be aware of what I can and cannot eat safely at the party, as well as know if I should eat a small something beforehand. I'D NEVER BRING AN ENITRE DAMN PIZZA TO SOMEONE'S PARTY. Sorry. I can't let that go…lol

[Brie]

No. Because I am lazy and don't usually plan a menu until like 3 days before anyway, if I'm being generous.