Work Review and Pregnancy

[Deleted]

Okay so here is the predicament I got myself into.

My boss doesnt work in my office. I havent seen her since december. Boss is here this week Mon-Wed. My review is due to be done by Friday but hasnt been approved so I have no clue when it will be. Last years review didnt go well because boss said some off the wall things to me. She reviewed me with a good rating but I really should have been excellent and she said some things I should work on that I think pushed her own personal agenda and not the companies. Anyway, point is I am not optimistic about this review even though I have been excellent this year. I have been told she now notices that but you never know.

I got a significant bonus yesterday and she said good things about me. Rumor is she has changed her way of thinking and thinks we are all doing a good job now.

I am 16 weeks pregnant and she doesnt know. I was waiting until after my review to tell her because I want her to review me fairly and not think that she doesnt need to work with me any more because I am just going to have a baby and leave the company.

I have a drs appointment next tuesday. We are all going to dinner tonight where I will not be drinking rest of the office will be.

So when would you tell about this pregnancy? Should I tell right after my review in the same convo or get my review and then next week call her after my drs appointment and give her some BS story that I wanted to make sure the baby was okay before I told.

[Deleted]

My original plan was to tell her right after. Like review done. Hey by the way i am pregnant. I spoke with someone and they said that that may come accross negative too because then it seems like I waited for the review and didnt trust that they would review me fairly. Which is exactly what I think. I feel like I am way overthinking this but she is such an evil person sometimes.

[vanillacourage]

Especially at dinner it should be easy to hide that you're not drinking. Take a glass of wine but don't drink it, order directly from the bar, etc. I would hold off on telling until after you get a (signed) copy of your review.

I know as women we get caught up in "when to tell" (and to be fair, I did too) but pregnancy is a medical condition and it's really not anyone's business until we're ready to share the news. If you wait long enough that you're just a couple months out from ML it might be different, but you have plenty of time left to tell them and leave them in good standing to cover your work while you're out.

[MadamePresident]

Wait until after your review, but as for exactly when after your review that is up to you. I don't think its uncommon for people to wait to announce at work. As much as its not supposed to make a difference, I think sometimes it does.

As for not drinking at the lunch. People have all kinds of reasons for not consuming that are not related to pregnancy.

[ECB]

Aug 28, 2012 10:10:21 GMT -5 @ffbride0813 said:

they said that that may come accross negative too because then it seems like I waited for the review and didnt trust that they would review me fairly.

So? You have history to base this on, and if your boss is hot/cold and "evil" - she'd probably find something wrong w/ ANY time you announce it.

My suggestion, though, would be to tell her and have a plan ready to discuss. So that it's more than "oh- hey, I'm PG" then th emeeting ends. Just tell her you've put some thought into when you go on leave, how your work can be covered, etc. Ask her for her thoughts.... etc.

Or if you don't want to go into details quite yet, at least acknowledge that you're thinking about it but that it's too early to go into details but that in __ months you'd like to meet with her to talk about the specifics.

[Deleted]

Aug 28, 2012 10:18:09 GMT -5 ECB said:

Aug 28, 2012 10:10:21 GMT -5 @ffbride0813 said:

they said that that may come accross negative too because then it seems like I waited for the review and didnt trust that they would review me fairly.

So? You have history to base this on, and if your boss is hot/cold and "evil" - she'd probably find something wrong w/ ANY time you announce it.

My suggestion, though, would be to tell her and have a plan ready to discuss. So that it's more than "oh- hey, I'm PG" then th emeeting ends. Just tell her you've put some thought into when you go on leave, how your work can be covered, etc. Ask her for her thoughts.... etc.

Or if you don't want to go into details quite yet, at least acknowledge that you're thinking about it but that it's too early to go into details but that in __ months you'd like to meet with her to talk about the specifics.

This was my original thoughts about it. Especially since she is here this week and it would be nice to discuss my plan for coming back and how I am working my projects. I think this conversation would be better in person. I think she is changing but past history tells me she doesnt liek the work we are doing here and will hold the pregnancy and my time fof with the baby against me in some way. I also want to sit and discuss my progression with the company after my review. Maybe then is the logical time and I can work it into the conversation and get some discussion going .

I hate having to tiptoe around this.

[Deleted]

I am way overthinking this.