Communication with H

[Katiedid]

What are some things you do to improve your communication with your H? We are usually pretty good at communicating but I feel like DH and I are going through a little rut regarding our day-to-day routines and things we have discussed and made decisions about.I feel like he is constantly repeating questions we have already answered and discussed. He feels like I don't discuss things with him...I admit sometimes I don't because I get tired of having to repeat myself. We came up with creating a calendar of activities/important dates. What else can we do?

[Deleted]

Honestly, I take complete charge of the schedule and it really streamlines things. My plum planner is the master calendar for our family. H texts/emails/tells me what to put in the calendar and usually every night i check it and give a heads up of what's coming and also we go over it on Sunday for the week.

In terms of actual convos, we eat dinner together every night after ds goes to bed. It works for us and allows us to just chat about our work days and stuff. We also talk and text regularly during the work week.

[momin2013]

Like Britt, I am in complete charge of our calendar/schedule. Just this morning, I've confirmed one appointment for him, rescheduled another, and am scheduling yet another for both of us right now. Everything goes in my daytimer, and I give him a heads-up/reminder for things coming up in the next day or so every evening.

As far as other communication, if we need to "get on the same page" about stuff we sit after DS goes to bed with the tv off and just catch up. We probably do that once a week-ish, especially when we have something we need to discuss/finalize, things like plans for the holidays, gifts we want to buy for people, a dinner we plan to host, etc.

[gastro]

I email DH every few days with the things he needs to add to his calendar. We chat every other night or so once the kids are in bed and discuss the goings on for the next few days. For us it's really important that we are in the same page because DH often has dinner meetings and travel.

[dizzycooks]

I keep the calendar and he sucks at adding to it. I add what I know about and point out when he has a meeting that didn't show up bc it's annoying. Generally though we recap the next day the night before and discuss the week ahead when I'm meal planning. He probably doesn't realize these are conversations that help the house function honestly.

[jensriot]

For specific events like kid activities and appointments I send DH meeting requests through our email. It shows up on his work calendar. If I don't then there is no way he'll remember.

For catching up or discussions we struggle a bit. We discuss well, we just don't have loads of time. He works late almost every weeknight. It has helped us learn to get to the point better though.

[mamaalysson]

We have learned that he needs to have his phone off and I need to be out of bed for communication to be at all effective. Like others, I keep track of our calendar and schedule all kid or family related appointments. Usually Sunday mornings, we sit down and look at the week. I don't care what's on his schedule during the work day, but we get on the same about upcoming evening events or whether or not he needs to work late in the upcoming week. i usually email him important dates and events early in the month, but I will confirm them with his at the start of the week. We also text/email throughout the day, and talk after dinner.

[quesyrah]

Ditto about the calendar. I keep one on the fridge and also keep a planner on my desk (which I throw in my purse when I'm going to an appt where I might need to make a follow up).

When there is something important that DH needs to be aware of I put it in my iphone and invite DH so that its in his phone. He prefers his electronic calendar and I prefer paper.

Once a week we have date night after we put the kids to bed. We put all electronics away so we can connect and that's also when we go over stuff like finances, household/kid needs etc.

[honeydew1894]

Google calendar!

But for the big stuff, we sit down when kids aren't around and just hash it out. I am a list maker so I usually will do that and/or take some notes. We then divide and conquer what we need to do to make whatever it is happen.

We run a small business together so these little meetings are crucial to the business. Also, we use email too so that we have it documented in case he or I forget what one of us said lol.

[Katiedid]

Thanks everyone! We are definitely starting with a calendar. I will add email to anything we discuss as well. I like the idea of scheduled sit-downs without electronics!! Hope some of this helps.

[lexus]

We use an app called Cozi. We each have our own profile and can add our own events and family events. We check there before we make any plans, either together or individually. You can also set reminders when you set up an event which I find really helpful.

[Deleted]

I have a personal dayplanner for my own stuff, then DS's preschool gives us a calendar for each month. I put that one on the fridge and write any family stuff on it. I really hate being in charge of everybody's calendar. My H isn't great at keeping his stuff on the calendar, but at least I can keep myself and the kids organized, and if DH has questions, I tell him to look at the calendar on the fridge.

[mamaalysson]

We just went through our week last night, and I will add that we have learned to streamline our "business" conversations. DH attends a lot of events. He used to give the details about them, but it was too much information to keep track of. Now i only keep track of the events that mean he will be gone outside of normal working hours, and unless it's something I have to attend too, I just write "DH gone" on my calendar and block out the time.