I'm obviously bothered enough to be posting about it but I'm wondering if I am overreacting.
We met up with a friend today. My kid is 5 (will be 6 this month) and hers is 6. Her kid asked if DS saw Star Wars the force awakens. DS said no he hasn't seen it yet. Kid says oh, well did you know.....? And proceeds to tell DS a spoiler. DS asked him not to tell him anymore because he is seeing it Saturday. Kid gives another spoiler. DS says to stop because he hasn't seen it. Kid keeps talking. I intervene and nicely tell kid to please stop talking about Star Wars so as not to spoil it for DS. A few minutes later I hear DS yelling because the kid dropped another spoiler. So I talked to my friend and asked her to have a talk with kid and ask him to just not talk Star Wars at all today because DS was upset. She totally brushed it off and laughed about it.
I would be bothered the mom laughed at you. Unfortunately some kids just can't keep their mouths shut. (My kid)
I told my son not to tell his friends about the movie if they didn't see it. He has totally spoiled it. He keeps saying "but they asked". I am not there so I have no idea if they are asking. I feel bad though. Wish I control it better.
He has had things spoiled as well. I think it's partly the age, they really need to learn social etiquette.
I get that they're little kids. But having been asked 3 times to stop talking about the new movie....is something a 6 year old understands.
But more than that, if a friend asked me to tell my kid to stop saying something that was upsetting hers, I don't care how stupid I thought it was I would do it.
I feel like if he was younger, it would be an overreaction but at 6, he should have listened and stopped with the spoilers. Sounds a little mean spirited of him. Sorry for your ds
The first time, maybe even the second…ok. But the mom definitely should have stepped in. Kids at this age don't get it - we had a 7 year old give a spoiler at the busstop the other day. But he quieted down after we all yelped at him.
The first time, maybe even the second…ok. But the mom definitely should have stepped in. Kids at this age don't get it - we had a 7 year old give a spoiler at the busstop the other day. But he quieted down after we all yelped at him.
So, yes, I'd be annoyed but not too upset.
I'd say there are adults that don't get it. Haha. My dh works retail and if he works during a professional sporting event, it never fails some big mouth goes in and says "how about those Pats losing to the Dolphins". He gets so mad.
I get that they're little kids. But having been asked 3 times to stop talking about the new movie....is something a 6 year old understands.
But more than that, if a friend asked me to tell my kid to stop saying something that was upsetting hers, I don't care how stupid I thought it was I would do it.
Yes! It's about respecting your friends' wishes. If someone asks you to stop doing something you stop. The mom really missed an opportunity for a lesson there. I can't believe she laughed it off.
DS1's best friend loves to RAWR at him like a dinosaur. DS gets overwhelmed with it sometimes so we really worked on using words to ask him to stop. It's been a good lesson for both of them in communication.
I would be upset too. She lost a great moment to teach her kid communication and respect for friends. I understand it happens but if the mom is there, she should have stepped in.
I'd be mad too. DD sometimes blabs spoilers (or presents or surprises) but even at 4 when I talk to her about it, she understands it is hurtful and she stops. She's usually not just spouting off surprises to spoil them, she's just excited.
Anyway, yeah, I'd be pissed, especially since she laughed it off. I have a friend who will literally go out of her way to make sure her kids don't eat hot dogs. At bonfires or events, etc. I think it's a little silly but whatever, it's her hill. I'm certainly not going to laugh off her concern or throw a hot dog shindig and invite her family. If a friend asks you to reign your kid in, you do it, even if you think it's dumb.
Post by Kcthepouchh8r on Jan 7, 2016 9:56:58 GMT -5
My son is six and has verbal diarrhea so I could see him saying something like that. If his friend asked him to stop talking about something I would expect him to respect his wishes. If he continued on I would most definitely step in to correct him as to treat other people with respect when they say they don't like something. The fact that her kid completely ignored not only your kids words but another adult and didn't back you up is shitty. I mean I expect my kids to be little shits to me at times but when another adult asks them not to do something I expect immediate compliance. If my kid didn't listen to a friend and another adult he would have lost the privilege to play and we would have left. The fact this woman laughed about her kids bad behavior screams entitlement. I would be pissed too.
I would have told my kid to stop, but only maybe after the second time you asked. And I will be completely honest, I would have internally rolled my eyes at you, and maybe even laughed about it with a friend behind your back.
I am not a Star Wars person, so take this with a grain of salt. But there is this weird sense of entitlement in the online community especially about it "How dare you spoil it for me". It's been out for weeks at this point. Expecting the entire world, especially a little kid, to censor conversation for weeks is over the top to me. I've had this argument with my husband -- Star Wars people (of which he is one) seem to insist on their weird silence that is not afforded any other movie, TV show or event.
I mean, I have a list of shit from here to tomorrow I haven't had a chance to see yet -- it gets spoiled.
Like I said, I would have eventually told my kid to knock it off after the second time. But I also would have thought it was over the top. I can't shut my kid up until Star Wars hits Netflix.
I'd be mad too. DD sometimes blabs spoilers (or presents or surprises) but even at 4 when I talk to her about it, she understands it is hurtful and she stops. She's usually not just spouting off surprises to spoil them, she's just excited.
Anyway, yeah, I'd be pissed, especially since she laughed it off. I have a friend who will literally go out of her way to make sure her kids don't eat hot dogs. At bonfires or events, etc. I think it's a little silly but whatever, it's her hill. I'm certainly not going to laugh off her concern or throw a hot dog shindig and invite her family. If a friend asks you to reign your kid in, you do it, even if you think it's dumb.
Sorry Que.
JFC spoilers aren't "hurtful".
I was playing light sabers at I was told to be Darth Vader and said "I am your father" and DH got pissed I "spoiled that part". Fine, don't give me the light saber and expect me to engage, when the only damn thing I know is the thing everyone knows.
I'd be mad too. DD sometimes blabs spoilers (or presents or surprises) but even at 4 when I talk to her about it, she understands it is hurtful and she stops. She's usually not just spouting off surprises to spoil them, she's just excited.
Anyway, yeah, I'd be pissed, especially since she laughed it off. I have a friend who will literally go out of her way to make sure her kids don't eat hot dogs. At bonfires or events, etc. I think it's a little silly but whatever, it's her hill. I'm certainly not going to laugh off her concern or throw a hot dog shindig and invite her family. If a friend asks you to reign your kid in, you do it, even if you think it's dumb.
Sorry Que.
JFC spoilers aren't "hurtful".
I was playing light sabers at I was told to be Darth Vader and said "I am your father" and DH got pissed I "spoiled that part". Fine, don't give me the light saber and expect me to engage, when the only damn thing I know is the thing everyone knows.
I would have told my kid to stop, but only maybe after the second time you asked. And I will be completely honest, I would have internally rolled my eyes at you, and maybe even laughed about it with a friend behind your back.
I am not a Star Wars person, so take this with a grain of salt. But there is this weird sense of entitlement in the online community especially about it "How dare you spoil it for me". It's been out for weeks at this point. Expecting the entire world, especially a little kid, to censor conversation for weeks is over the top to me. I've had this argument with my husband -- Star Wars people (of which he is one) seem to insist on their weird silence that is not afforded any other movie, TV show or event.
I mean, I have a list of shit from here to tomorrow I haven't had a chance to see yet -- it gets spoiled.
Like I said, I would have eventually told my kid to knock it off after the second time. But I also would have thought it was over the top. I can't shut my kid up until Star Wars hits Netflix.
I hate Star Wars with the fire of a thousand suns. My husband and son love it and binge watched all the movies while I played on Facebook. It's rude to spoil any movie or tv show. It has zero to do with Star Wars. Sure, it's totally developmentally appropriate for little kids to lack social graces. It is on parents to tell them when your friend says stop, no it means you comply immediately, not just when you agree with them. I would expect my child to stop talking about Star Wars if another kid asked him just like I would expect him to stop talking about dogs if a friend was frightened of them even if that seems like a silly, irrational fear to us. It has nothing to do with the movie it is and everything to do with children respecting when someone else says stop you stop.
I'd be mad too. DD sometimes blabs spoilers (or presents or surprises) but even at 4 when I talk to her about it, she understands it is hurtful and she stops. She's usually not just spouting off surprises to spoil them, she's just excited.
Anyway, yeah, I'd be pissed, especially since she laughed it off. I have a friend who will literally go out of her way to make sure her kids don't eat hot dogs. At bonfires or events, etc. I think it's a little silly but whatever, it's her hill. I'm certainly not going to laugh off her concern or throw a hot dog shindig and invite her family. If a friend asks you to reign your kid in, you do it, even if you think it's dumb.
Sorry Que.
JFC spoilers aren't "hurtful".
I was playing light sabers at I was told to be Darth Vader and said "I am your father" and DH got pissed I "spoiled that part". Fine, don't give me the light saber and expect me to engage, when the only damn thing I know is the thing everyone knows.
It was clearly bothering her kid. It doesn't matter if YOU think it isn't hurtful or is stupid or whatever. If you let your kid continue to do something that is bothering someone else, you are an ass.
Teaching a kid not to spoil a movie for another kid is just polite.
Post by Kcthepouchh8r on Jan 7, 2016 11:48:03 GMT -5
Doing something shitty doesn't make someone an asshole overall. Being a nice person overall doesbt excuse crappy behavior either.
I'm blown away that people wouldn't care if someone told them what happened in something they're excited to see. Whether it's a tv show, movie, football game isn't the exciting part is the anticipation of what's to come? What's the fun of watching a show/movie/sporting event if you already know the outcome? It's totally fine to take someone's excitement away if you think whatever they're interested in is dumb? What?
It's not about Star Wars though. That was the conversation but it's absolutely not the point of my post, at all.
It's about the fact that both my kid and I repeatedly asked him to stop and he didn't and my friend laughed at both me and my kid and made snide comments. That's rude and to a 5 year old? Absolutely hurtful.
You would really laugh behind our backs because we asked you not to keep talking about something that was bothering DS?
The more I think about it - I don't know how obvious it was that your ds was getting upset vs. more of a joking, "hey stop!" Because I don't know any kids my daughter's age that would even get or care that they were hearing a "spoiler." Which is why kids keep revealing them because it's not something that computes. I wouldn't ever think to tell my kid not to talk about a movie but if they did and were asked not to, like what happened here, I would expect them to be respectful of that.
The more I think about it - I don't know how obvious it was that your ds was getting upset vs. more of a joking, "hey stop!" Because I don't know any kids my daughter's age that would even get or care that they were hearing a "spoiler." Which is why kids keep revealing them because it's not something that computes. I wouldn't ever think to tell my kid not to talk about a movie but if they did and were asked not to, like what happened here, I would expect them to be respectful of that.
He didn't just say stop though. He said don't tell me any more I'm seeing it on Saturday. And kid was asked by an adult to stop. Then adult didn't correct kid.
Her kid asked if DS saw Star Wars the force awakens. DS said no he hasn't seen it yet. Kid says oh, well did you know.....? And proceeds to tell DS a spoiler. DS asked him not to tell him anymore because he is seeing it Saturday. Kid gives another spoiler. DS says to stop because he hasn't seen it. Kid keeps talking. .
Post by expectantsteelerfan on Jan 7, 2016 16:30:24 GMT -5
I actually had to explain to ds about what a spoiler is due to the Star Wars movie. Before that, he had never heard the term spoiler, and I still don't think he fully understands that if someone wants to see something but hasn't seen it yet, they wouldn't want to hear ahead of time what happens. But he did clearly understand: 'friend hasn't seen the movie and doesn't want you to talk about it. Please don't talk about it with him' even if he didn't get the why behind it. He also had another friend who did want to hear about it even though he hadn't seen it, so I said it was fine to talk about it as long as someone doesn't ask him not to.
So anyway, my point is, the kid may not have gotten it. If you think your kid was serious about not wanting to know what happened, then I would have said something more specific to the mom about having her kid stop and if she still ignored you, I'd be annoyed with her, but you can't really blame the kid.