Kid social issue

[mamaalysson]

We have neighbors that we have become pretty good friends with. I really like the mom - we have a lot in common, parent similarly, and both stay at home. Our daughters are in kindergarten and we often walk home from school all together. The girls have gotten along really well since they started hanging out over the summer. Since coming back from break, though, my DD has been having an epic meltdown every afternoon that we walk with them. On Wednesday, she refused to talk to the other little girl and stuck her fingers in her ears really upsetting the girl. And today she so badly didn't want to walk with them, that she sat down on the corner and refused to move. My DD says that she doesn't like to play or talk to this neighbor girl any more because she is always in her face wanting to talk to her and if she doesn't answer, she "controls my body" (I think she means like grabbing her arm or trying to get her to turn around and talk to her). for the record, I have seen this sort of exchange between them, and it looks like exactly that - friend wants to talk to DD, DD (lacking in social graces) ignores her, friend tries to turn her body so she has to listen. I get that it's frustrating for DD, but I really don't think it's worth tossing the friendship. What do I say to the other mom and how do we help the girls navigate this? Or do I just back off and keep our distance from these friends for a while?

[charlatti]

Kindergarten is old enough to understand that you don't have to like or be friends with everyone, but you do need to be kind. I think I would start by talking to your DD about how to use her words when the other girl does something she doesn't like, but also how to deal kindly with someone she doesn't want to play with.

[lala]

We walk with neighbors to & from the busstop most days. This is pretty normal, especially for the younger kids and their younger siblings. The adults don't care - it's just life. I might say something like, "Give Ellie/Violet/whoever some space, they just had a long day," or whatever. I mean, someone is always crying or grumpy out of all the kids. It's just not a big deal.

Neighbors end up with cousin type relationships - you see them so much it has to be okay for everyone to take space - not walk together, not play after school whatever.

[melew]

I also agree that mentioning something to the mom and giving your DD space might be a good idea, still emphasizing that kindness towards others is important. I know that DD1 usually takes a bit of time to adjust back into her routine after a school break (she is still very routine oriented), so the adjustment and what she feels as a pushy friend might be making things difficult. I bet after a little space, your DD might even start missing the walks with her friend and it will naturally work itself out.