TTMA Being "breezy" about naps

[Deleted]

So in an attempt to solve some of my sleep struggles with my DD (23 months), I've decided to stop fighting over naps. She refuses to go in, and letting her cry just leads to a horrible day for everyone. Instead, I'm just putting her in bed if she falls asleep somewhere else, like on the couch or in the car.

However, this is all new territory to me, because I'm used to treating nap time as sacred, and staying home to let DD nap. So it doesn't come easily to me to be "breezy" about naps. I'm starting to feel guilty and like I should try harder for a structured nap.

What does DWP say? Is it fine to just let her fall asleep if/when it happens naturally and not try to put her down for a nap every day?

(I've been charting her sleep and she never sleeps more than 11 hours in a 24 hour period. So it's either all at night, or a 1.5hr nap and a 9-9.5 hour night sleep, where she wakes at 5:30am.)

[momin2013]

I guess I'm breezy, because when DS started fightng naps (around 22-23 months) I didn't really sweat it. Since dropping his nap he very rarely falls asleep during the day, but when he does I actually cringe because it means he'll be up late that night. I actually prefer no nap and an earlier, more predictable bedtime.

[Deleted]

I am one of those naps are sacred people but ds is our only. I actually just commented to h if we have a second child, all that is out the window since it seems like it would be hard to maintain that with more than one kid. I don't think you need to feel guilty so long as she's hitting her appropriate total hours of sleep!

[quesyrah]

Mine don't fall asleep on the couch or anything like that. They would/will fall asleep in the car or stroller. At that age if they fell asleep I let them sleep until we got to our destination and if I could, sit in the car. If not, that was their nap whether it was 10 minutes or an hour

[quesyrah]

Jan 14, 2016 15:13:17 GMT -5 momin2013 said:

I guess I'm breezy, because when DS started fightng naps (around 22-23 months) I didn't really sweat it. Since dropping his nap he very rarely falls asleep during the day, but when he does I actually cringe because it means he'll be up late that night. I actually prefer no nap and an earlier, more predictable bedtime.

Me too. My kids have always gone to bed early so I prefer to drop the nap vs push bedtime later.

[Deleted]

Jan 14, 2016 15:23:03 GMT -5 quesyrah said:

Jan 14, 2016 15:13:17 GMT -5 momin2013 said:

I guess I'm breezy, because when DS started fightng naps (around 22-23 months) I didn't really sweat it. Since dropping his nap he very rarely falls asleep during the day, but when he does I actually cringe because it means he'll be up late that night. I actually prefer no nap and an earlier, more predictable bedtime.

Me too. My kids have always gone to bed early so I prefer to drop the nap vs push bedtime later.

This is me too, because if she doesn't nap, she sleeps until 6:30 instead of 5:30. It makes a huge difference to me because I'm not a morning person at all, and DS also wakes at 6:30, which is nice.

[gastro]

Naps were sacred with ds1 and then around 3 a nap meant a later bedtime so I didn't stress if he didn't have a nap.
With ds2 it's breezy always even though he's an infant. He's had to learn to nap on the go, in a carrier, some days long naps, some days barely any at all - he's the second kid so with preschool drop offs and activities for ds1 his life is always on the go.

[thecheshirekat]

I've been forced to be kind of breezy about the twins naps, because after about 18 months it started getting harder and harder to put them down in their cribs. I did driving naps for at least six months, and these days if we're home in the afternoon I will often put on a movie and see if they'll just fall asleep in their anywhere chairs. DD is the only one of my three kids who will give me a decent nap, and she knows when she's tired and will try and put herself down. The boys? Lol, forget it.

[lattelady5]

Ds just turned 2 and naps about half the time. Otherwise he just powers through and gets and early bedtime. If I lay down wth him he'll almost always crash. We snuggle on the couch for 15 min or so and I sneak away. He doesn't nap more than an hour unless we're in the car.

[lattelady5]

Jan 14, 2016 19:29:17 GMT -5 incogneato said:

Dude, whatever works. WHATEVER works.

So much this.

DD1 pretty much destroyed any sleep expectations. Ds was a good sleeper until about 20 months when he started refusing naps. Fighting it sucked so I let him skip or try to lay with him. It's not perfect but it works.

I also let both kids sleep in the same bed often because they sleep better. Idc. They sleep. I sleep.

Eta:this goes for parents who have super strict nap/sleep schedules too. If that is what works for your family and creates sleep, fine by me.

[NandaB]

Jan 14, 2016 18:47:58 GMT -5 lattelady5 said:

Ds just turned 2 and naps about half the time. Otherwise he just powers through and gets and early bedtime. If I lay down wth him he'll almost always crash. We snuggle on the couch for 15 min or so and I sneak away. He doesn't nap more than an hour unless we're in the car.

How Is he two already??

[lattelady5]

Jan 14, 2016 22:00:22 GMT -5 NandaB said:

Jan 14, 2016 18:47:58 GMT -5 lattelady5 said:

Ds just turned 2 and naps about half the time. Otherwise he just powers through and gets and early bedtime. If I lay down wth him he'll almost always crash. We snuggle on the couch for 15 min or so and I sneak away. He doesn't nap more than an hour unless we're in the car.

How Is he two already??

I know! N is 4 now! FOUR!!!

[dizzycooks]

I'm not breezy about naps. It's getting harder as my oldest gets older and doesn't *need* a nap, but I'm holding on as long as I can. Atm I'm able to get all three down for an afternoon nap at the same time. I'm not messing with that. That said, your dd is t napping and is creating chaos for you. I'd run with it and back bedtime up and start trying to do some sort of quiet time and build the length of qt as she understands it.

[Deleted]

Jan 14, 2016 19:29:17 GMT -5 incogneato said:

Dude, whatever works. WHATEVER works.

I'm going to make this my mantra! 

DS wasn't a good sleeper, and DD is even worse. I just get so many judgmental or unsupportive comments about DD because she was a crabby baby, didn't like to be held, is super clingy to me and a terrible sleeper. She doesn't nap anywhere but home, and now she doesn't even really nap at home. I've really had to just do what works, but I never feel comfortable with it because of other people's comments or how I think she "should" be doing. Thanks for the reminder that I just need to do what works for me and the kids. Everyone else doesn't know my lyfe!

[dizzycooks]

Jan 15, 2016 15:53:51 GMT -5 incogneato said:

Jan 15, 2016 13:01:15 GMT -5 @leftie22 said:

I'm going to make this my mantra! 

DS wasn't a good sleeper, and DD is even worse. I just get so many judgmental or unsupportive comments about DD because she was a crabby baby, didn't like to be held, is super clingy to me and a terrible sleeper. She doesn't nap anywhere but home, and now she doesn't even really nap at home. I've really had to just do what works, but I never feel comfortable with it because of other people's comments or how I think she "should" be doing. Thanks for the reminder that I just need to do what works for me and the kids. Everyone else doesn't know my lyfe!

I feel you. I used to HAAAAAAATE it when people would say, "Is she a good baby?" Because the real answer would have been, "No, actually, she screams a lot and hates sleeping but thanks for asking!" and I definitely felt judged by my in-laws and others. I got lucky in that my second kid was 10000000% times easier and I have had to fight the urge to yell, "SEE IT WASN'T MY FAULT!"

My five year old STILL pitches a fit 75% of the time at bedtime. Gah!

I have straight up told people that dd2 was an awful baby. She screamed constantly and didn't sleep until just a few months ago. She's still the one giving me a heart attack. We call her our wild child. Love her dearly, but that girl is going to be the death of me. I get tired of people sugar coating how babies act.

[Deleted]

Yup I have also told people ds was a difficult baby. Dude nursed constantly, cried a lot and didn't like naps and was just a grouch.

[nowa]

I haven't read all the replies yet, but I just wanted to say that when I gave up trying to nap DD1 (she was about 2) it was the best decision I ever made and I so wished I'd done it sooner. Maybe she was 2.5. It's a little fuzzy now. I think I stopped pushing it at 2, but some days she still needed it. But for the most part, it made everything so much better. My mood, her mood, bedtime routine. She went to bed at night easier, earlier, etc. And like you, I found she didn't sleep more than 10 or 11 hours total in a day anyway.

[justbecause]

My kids both gave up naps at 2. They will only sleep if they are sick or sometimes in the car.
(They are 2.5 and 4.5 years old.)

Now I put both to bed at 7 and they go right to bed mostly.

[Deleted]

Thanks, everyone! This is why I love this board.