FF at 4 months. Help with wording.

[suzubell]

One of my former students in a new, single mom at 21.  She is so in love with her little guy but often posts brags about him being advanced (slept through the night!, first smile!, can hold his head up at 3 weeks!).  It's really cute, actually.  But yesterday she posted that he is such a big boy he is big enough to FF in his car seat at just 4 months. Ugh!  This is not a MYOB for me since she regularly asks for advice and has told me I am her mentor, so I want to respond sweetly but with science and evidence.  

I never save the links about car seats, and couldn't find what I was looking for in the search function.

Thanks.

[natablue]

What state are you in? Some states (most?) require rear facing until at least age 1, regardless of size. Maybe start there?

I'm sure you can find a way to word it and will come across as helpful and not harsh.

I think @fivedogs is the resident car seat guru?

[dancingirl21]

I would just respond (brightly, of course) with a, "your little guy is so cute! Just thought I'd let you know that it's actually the law to keep them rear-facing until 12 months, and the American Academy of Pediatrics now recommends 2 years old. Those tiny heads and necks aren't fully formed yet and can't withstand the shock of an accident. Here's more info if you want to read."

www.aap.org/en-us/about-the-aap/aap-press-room/pages/aap-updates-recommendation-on-car-seats.aspx

[suzubell]

Yeah, it is illegal here until 12 months. I will definitely tell her that, too, but we've had great links to articles and videos in the past that I'd like to share with her. She's a great kid (or adult now I guess!) just a bit naive.

[pooh8402]

Omg. I'm twitching now. Ahhhhh!

csftl.org/why-rear-facing-the-science-junkies-guide/

www.joelsjourney.org

[suzubell]

Jan 16, 2016 13:26:28 GMT -5 @bunnybean said:

Is she really turning him? Or did she just say that he's so big, he could turn?

I would say something along the lines of, "He is such a cute big boy! He'll be all ready to turn forward when he turns 12 months old per the law, or 2 (or whatever) per these studies!" And then link.

No, she turned him.  Had a picture of it  Looks like someone got to her before me, because she posted that she jumped the gun and only looked at his weight to turn him and the manual says he has to sit unassisted.  Obviously I still need to chat with her, and will, but for now he's turned back around.  

[pooh8402]

Jan 16, 2016 13:36:50 GMT -5 suzubell said:

Jan 16, 2016 13:26:28 GMT -5 @bunnybean said:

Is she really turning him? Or did she just say that he's so big, he could turn?

I would say something along the lines of, "He is such a cute big boy! He'll be all ready to turn forward when he turns 12 months old per the law, or 2 (or whatever) per these studies!" And then link.

No, she turned him.  Had a picture of it  Looks like someone got to her before me, because she posted that she jumped the gun and only looked at his weight to turn him and the manual says he has to sit unassisted.  Obviously I still need to chat with her, and will, but for now he's turned back around.  

What seat is this? Most babies are sitting unassisted by like 8 months old. That can't be right.

[suzubell]

Jan 16, 2016 14:07:16 GMT -5 pooh8402 said:

Jan 16, 2016 13:36:50 GMT -5 suzubell said:

No, she turned him.  Had a picture of it  Looks like someone got to her before me, because she posted that she jumped the gun and only looked at his weight to turn him and the manual says he has to sit unassisted.  Obviously I still need to chat with her, and will, but for now he's turned back around.  

What seat is this? Most babies are sitting unassisted by like 8 months old. That can't be right.

I have no idea.  She just posted about it online. I can't tell from the picture.

[vmars]

Yeah that's bad. Now in NJ the law is they have to be rf until 2 and 30lbs. DS is both but pedi said to try and keep him rf for as long as he is not completely uncomfortable. Age 3/4 is ideal.

[starburst604]

I'm glad she turned him back around. I'm always so curious what the rush is to FF, like why is this something to celebrate? Maybe it will make more sense to me when DD is older and trying to communicate with me.

[VillainV]

Jan 16, 2016 17:06:30 GMT -5 starburst604 said:

I'm glad she turned him back around. I'm always so curious what the rush is to FF, like why is this something to celebrate? Maybe it will make more sense to me when DD is older and trying to communicate with me.

Yeah, I'm team RF for Lyfe.   I mean, he can't see that I'm drinking a soda or eating chips and ask me for them if he's RFing.   He falls asleep because he has a nice recline going.  Why on earth would I want him to face forward and know all my driving secrets?!?!?

I get that for a lot of people, this is kind of like a rite of passage.  Some people we know think that you are "supposed" to turn them FF at 1 year, like they think it's safer to be FF once the kid hits 1.   

[Deleted]

I am glad he's turned back around. I also know do a young mom that turned her daughter around at 6 months because the 'manual said once they were 15lbs to turn them'. She clearly read it wrong, I sent her the links to the laws and an article to read. She shrugged it off, and it haunts me to this day that I was unable to convince her

[Deleted]

I was in a similar situation with my 19 year old niece. I sent her a private message saying hey I love seeing so many pics of baby I know you are doing the best you can to provide for her blah blah blah but it's actually illegal in most states to turn before 1 and even 2 in some states. It's safer blah blah blah to rf until at least 2. She was appreciative she honestly just didn't know. Her baby was like 7 months but not much better. She had just gotten a new car seat from a woman's group in her state andiencouraged her to watch you tube to see how to install it and check with a. Car seat tech.

[winecheery]

Jan 16, 2016 17:06:30 GMT -5 starburst604 said:

I'm glad she turned him back around. I'm always so curious what the rush is to FF, like why is this something to celebrate? Maybe it will make more sense to me when DD is older and trying to communicate with me.

My friend did it because her kid was apparently a screaming mess every time he had to sit in it RF (as he got older).  As soon as he was a year they did it.  I don't have a child that flips out every time I strap her in; she's perfectly happy the way she is.  Who knows how stressed out that would make a driver, and thus motivate them to make the switch.  Even so, I was kind of shocked when she mentioned it.  Just cuz she's very informed.  I think for her it was clearly worth it, but I am grateful DD is still good to go RF, I admit.

As for communication, I have a mirror thing and DD can see me in it and we talk that way.  It's been there since day one, so I could always check on her if she fell asleep, or so I could see what she was up to back there.  #bigbrotherisalwayswatchingyouDD  

[isabel]

Jan 16, 2016 17:06:30 GMT -5 starburst604 said:

I'm glad she turned him back around. I'm always so curious what the rush is to FF, like why is this something to celebrate? Maybe it will make more sense to me when DD is older and trying to communicate with me.

Yeah, I don't get this. Maybe it will make more sense when he's older, but having a carseat mirror works pretty well so far.

[NandaB]

Jan 16, 2016 21:48:25 GMT -5 VillainV said:

Jan 16, 2016 17:06:30 GMT -5 starburst604 said:

I'm glad she turned him back around. I'm always so curious what the rush is to FF, like why is this something to celebrate? Maybe it will make more sense to me when DD is older and trying to communicate with me.

Yeah, I'm team RF for Lyfe.   I mean, he can't see that I'm drinking a soda or eating chips and ask me for them if he's RFing.   He falls asleep because he has a nice recline going.  Why on earth would I want him to face forward and know all my driving secrets?!?!?.   

Right?! I got to eat soo many more snacks when my first was RF. Although, I will say it was pretty adorable the first time he rode FF and saw a truck he was sooooo excited he practically yelled, "mama did you see that truck?? Did you see it with your FACE??"