Job offer dilemma

[hbomdiggity]

PDQ. I will delete details. But I could really use some help figuring out what to do.

H was laid off a few months ago. We are now at a point that we are using severance money. Without adjusting expenses, we are fine until June. But he is now officially unemployed.

He has one job offer. Interesting role, name brand company, but we do not like the location. If this company were anywhere else, he would have already accepted. Let's call this City A.

Fwiw, he is in the interview phase with another company in City A. He has considered even bowing out, but company 2 has even better brand recognition, pays better, and in maybe a more palatable part of City A. But he's still weeks away from even getting to the offer stage if this keeps progressing. And honestly it would be a tough decision between 1 & 2.

Then there is City B. He has been talking to three different companies in City B. But they are all moving at a super slow pace and may not end up panning out for one reason or another. We'd much much prefer to live in City B.

My plan is to work remotely from either location. City A might be slightly better than B for my career, but my bigger concern is moving twice (from A to B). They are on board with me moving, but they don't want the plan to keep changing.

We have been dragging our feet with company 1 but will need to respond to them this week. I really only see a few options:

1. Accept company 1. Family moves to city A.
Cons : if Something in City B pans out, we would leave. That would be a mess relocation wise. And he'd burn a bridge.

2. Accept company 1. H rents a bedroom, me and kid stay in current city.
Cons: still burn a bridge if City B becomes an option. I'd be single mom with a 7mo old.

3. Turn down Company 1. Stay in current city and keep looking.
Like I said, with severance we'd be ok for a few more months. But then what???

4. Turn down company 1, move to city B without a job.
We stand to make a nice profit selling our home so this would add to severance if it takes awhile to land a job in new city.

[hermione]

I would not turn down a job in this situation. What if nothing else pans out? If option 2 is at all feasible, I'd do that until there is another job offer or for one year, then re-evaluate. As for burning a bridge, it happens all the time. Unless his industry is small it could be detrimental, I wouldn't be bothered by this.

How far apart is your current location and City A? Would regular visits be possible?

[curbsideprophet]

What do you not like about City A?

[longtimenopost]

Take the job and move. Rent in city A. If he gets a better offer in city B, move there. Yes, moving twice would be a PITA, but not as much as chronic unemployment!

I don't understand why your company would care where you are if you work remotely?

[Deleted]

How far away are these cities from you currently, and from each other?

[hbomdiggity]

Jan 19, 2016 15:23:29 GMT -5 hermione said:

How far apart is your current location and City A? Would regular visits be possible?

1.5hr plane ride.

He would hopefully be flying home every weekend.

We wouldn't be saving a ton, but we wouldn't be dipping into savings or severance pay.

[hbomdiggity]

Jan 19, 2016 15:32:10 GMT -5 longtimenopost said:

I don't understand why your company would care where you are if you work remotely?

While I will work remotely, I will also be looking to build new business. It's the later part that makes moving twice problematic. I will set a lot of wheels in motion by moving to City A that will be a huge waste of time if we end up in City B.

[snowflurry]

How far apart are A and B?

[smock]

What is the job market like in his field in City B? If he's already in talks with 3 companies, does that mean he has a good shot at finding a job in City B within the next 6-9 months?

I'd take the risk and move to City B.

[badtzmaru22]

I need to know more about what you don't like about City A. Have you lived there before, and don't like it? Does your arch-nemesis live there now? Just fear of the unknown?


Full Disclosure: I could be happy almost anywhere, so I might try to convince you it'll be great! We moved to our current location and didn't know a soul, but it was 7hrs away from the ILs, so we figured it couldn't be all bad! And we love it!

[hbomdiggity]

Jan 19, 2016 15:30:34 GMT -5 curbsideprophet said:

What do you not like about City A?

It's stupidly expensive. And for the increased cost, we get the benefit of longer commutes (1.5hr each way), less house (renting is really the only option), and zero charm.

[hbomdiggity]

We spent 3 full days in City A and my H went from "it can't be that bad" to seriously considering option 4.

[Ashley&Scott]

Do you have any interest in staying in your current city?

Commuting 1.5 hour each way sounds miserable.

[hbomdiggity]

A and B are in different states, maybe 10hrs apart?

We currently do not live in either A or B.

[hbomdiggity]

Jan 19, 2016 15:50:01 GMT -5 Ashley&Scott said:

Do you have any interest in staying in your current city?

Commuting 1.5 hour each way sounds miserable.

We'd love to stay in current city, but there isn't much for jobs here.

[Ashley&Scott]

Jan 19, 2016 15:52:17 GMT -5 hbomdiggity said:

Jan 19, 2016 15:50:01 GMT -5 Ashley&Scott said:

Do you have any interest in staying in your current city?

Commuting 1.5 hour each way sounds miserable.

We'd love to stay in current city, but there isn't much for jobs here.

Any jobs within 1-1.5 hours? Because if your commute is going to be that long in City A you might as well consider similar options in your current city. 

[longtimenopost]

Jan 19, 2016 15:39:45 GMT -5 hbomdiggity said:

Jan 19, 2016 15:32:10 GMT -5 longtimenopost said:

I don't understand why your company would care where you are if you work remotely?

While I will work remotely, I will also be looking to build new business. It's the later part that makes moving twice problematic. I will set a lot of wheels in motion by moving to City A that will be a huge waste of time if we end up in City B.

That makes sense. Given your updates, I'd probably take the risk of just moving to city B. If you have such a negative outlook on city A you'll have a hard time being happy there. Plus, your H will get a lot of time with the baby while he's job hunting. 

[pizzapizza]

I would be very hesitant to take a job that requires a 1.5 hour commute. That sounds really painful. If you can wait it out longer then I would try to see if the other options pan out.

[Deleted]

Jan 19, 2016 15:49:31 GMT -5 hbomdiggity said:

We spent 3 full days in City A and my H went from "it can't be that bad" to seriously considering option 4.

I think this is your answer. 

[curbsideprophet]

Jan 19, 2016 15:54:39 GMT -5 Ashley&Scott said:

Jan 19, 2016 15:52:17 GMT -5 hbomdiggity said:

We'd love to stay in current city, but there isn't much for jobs here.

Any jobs within 1-1.5 hours? Because if your commute is going to be that long in City A you might as well consider similar options in your current city. 

I agree with this. DH got a job offer in Boston. In the end the offer was not enough for us to make the move. We thought about where we would potentially need to live if we moved to Boston and decided he should expand his search radius locally. He did end up commuting about an hour for almost two years but has since found something closer.

[badtzmaru22]

Ok, even I am not going to try to convince you to move somewhere new for 1.5hr commute. (We have 35 and 45min now, and are used to them- no traffic, many other pluses.) but 1.5 hours? No way.

[krystee]

Is he applying to any other cities? A does not sound like it gets you the life you want, so I would be inclined to decline, but widen the job search.

[Deleted]

City A would be a no-go based on the high cost of living and 3 hours of commuting a day. No.

I would stay put, scrimp, and try to make something happen in B, or just move to B and live frugal as fuck until something comes through.

[ellipses84]

Don't move somewhere you don't want to be at this point. With two jobs and a kid it will be harder to leave. In a few months, if there's still opportunities in city A and nothing else has panned out you can consider it.

We were in a similar situation and moved to City A. We always agreed it would only be temporary but it sucks to feel like you are in limbo and can't put down roots. I don't know what would have happened if we had stayed where we were or waited for City B but I think I would have been far happier with our living situation.

[isabel]

As much as I value security, I think I'm leaning toward option 4. We've lived in a location we weren't happy in and we moved back to our current city after H quit his job. I lined something up, but he hadn't and he's the breadwinner. So, we've sort of done this in a way. Everything worked out and it was totally worth it. Anecdote for you.