You can kindly find someone else to visit on Wednesdays. For three weeks now we've had the pleasure of your company overnight on Tuesday and spent Wednesday's sipping giver ale and apple sauce. I'm done thank you. Somehow washing toddler hair and bedding at 2am (and 3 and 4) is not appealing anymore. We got our shots, now leave!
Sincerely, One tired mama
Dear impetigo, You keep rearing your ugly head too. I'm done. I can't potty train this child if she's terrified of how her rear end feels and I'm tired of doling out monthly antibiotics. She doesn't deserve to feel like this and I'd like to spend les time and $ at the clinic. Go away!!
Sincerely, A sad mama
Dear dh, Thank you for dealing with the puke. I'm really over it and you redeemed yourself from the fact you generally sleep through everything. Signed, Grateful wife
Thank you for sleeping through the entire night and not coming to crawl into bed with me until 7:15 this morning. Yes, I realize you now won't do it again for a long time, but that's o.k., once in a blue moon is still nice.
Love, Mommy
Dear Dreams,
Why do you have to be so friggin' weird that you wake me up in the middle of the night and not let me fall back to sleep for an hour afterwards? Why?
Dear everyfuckingnbody in charge at the school where I am subbing,
You really dropped the ball on the kids in this class. I realize they have significant intellectual disabilities and behavior concerns but fuck you all with rusty trowels for making the aides run the class through a succession of subs with no support. You're lucky the aides have their shit together and have been willing to buy workbooks with their own money so the poor kids can learn something instead of just being babysat. Also an especially big fuck you for not providing behavior support for the kid who pulls hair, knocks desks over, and tantrums everyday. Way to set him up to be locked away when he's a bigger stronger disabled black boy.
Signed,
The noisy sub who gives no fucks about making friends
Dear Facebook, Thank you so much for reminding me first thing this morning that today is my dad's birthday and he was supposed to turn 59. I am well aware of what today is as I am well aware of what happened one year ago this Sunday. Really didn't need to start my day like that. Kisses, Me.
Dear Facebook, Thank you so much for reminding me first thing this morning that today is my dad's birthday and he was supposed to turn 59. I am well aware of what today is as I am well aware of what happened one year ago this Sunday. Really didn't need to start my day like that. Kisses, Me.
I'm sorry. That time hop thing can be really shitty. I hope you find some comfort and peace today.
Dear Facebook, Thank you so much for reminding me first thing this morning that today is my dad's birthday and he was supposed to turn 59. I am well aware of what today is as I am well aware of what happened one year ago this Sunday. Really didn't need to start my day like that. Kisses, Me.
I'm sorry. That time hop thing can be really shitty. I hope you find some comfort and peace today.
Thank you. I'm afraid FB is going to bring back a bunch of posts this weekend that I'm not sure I can handle.
cna you can turn time hop off in your settings. Maybe you want to for a week or so if it would make things easier for you.
I know. I'm a mess right now and I don't know whether I want to just face it now and get it over with or save it for later. This shit should come with instructions or something.
Dear Facebook, Thank you so much for reminding me first thing this morning that today is my dad's birthday and he was supposed to turn 59. I am well aware of what today is as I am well aware of what happened one year ago this Sunday. Really didn't need to start my day like that. Kisses, Me.
I'm sorry cna. I hope the next few days are kind to you. Hugs.
Post by mamaalysson on Jan 20, 2016 12:29:50 GMT -5
Dear children,
5:30 is not an acceptable wake up time, but I will forgive you because I know Dad was up early and making noise. I even let you both come snuggle in my bed. The kicking and fighting over who was closest to me I could have done with out. And then waking up again to you, dear boy, standing next to my head whispering, "I poopin'" was also not my favorite. What do you say we hunker down for this second sick day of your sister's and watch movies and nap all day?
5:30 is not an acceptable wake up time, but I will forgive you because I know Dad was up early and making noise. I even let you both come snuggle in my bed. The kicking and fighting over who was closest to me I could have done with out. And then waking up again to you, dear boy, standing next to my head whispering, "I poopin'" was also not my favorite. What do you say we hunker down for this second sick day of your sister's and watch movies and nap all day?
Tired, and probably soon to be sick, mama
Omg dead at the whispering "I poopin"-did he say it in the sixth sense creepy kid whisper?! Lol sorry but I can relate. Unity like!
5:30 is not an acceptable wake up time, but I will forgive you because I know Dad was up early and making noise. I even let you both come snuggle in my bed. The kicking and fighting over who was closest to me I could have done with out. And then waking up again to you, dear boy, standing next to my head whispering, "I poopin'" was also not my favorite. What do you say we hunker down for this second sick day of your sister's and watch movies and nap all day?
Tired, and probably soon to be sick, mama
Omg dead at the whispering "I poopin"-did he say it in the sixth sense creepy kid whisper?! Lol sorry but I can relate. Unity like!
This is kind of like being told "mama my Jammie's are wet" at 2am and discovering she's not talking about pee.
Saying thinks like "OMG 4 is SO MANY kids" and "It's just SO MUCH WORK" and "I bet your DH wishes he got a vasectomy sooner" and "you know where babies come from" and "OMG OMG OMG Your hands are so full" all the fucking time is so annoying. Cant wait until #4 is actually hear so your fun comments can increase. Oh and for the record, my fallopian tubes and what I plan to do regarding keeping them connected is none of your mother fucking business walmart checker, mom at dance class or DH's grandmother. THank you very fucking much.
LOVE,
A mom of 4 who knows where babies come from and planned all 4 babies with her husband.
Dear brain, My child does not have shit as one of his spelling words. The word is shirt. Please instruct my mouth to say it correctly. Signed, The mom of a slightly confused first grader.
Post by dizzycooks on Jan 20, 2016 18:17:08 GMT -5
Dear plague,
Kindly leave my house!! Dh is now puking on the couch. Are you happy?? My guess is he won't be nearly as helpful overnight tonight. Thanks a bunch. Im not tired already. I definitely don't have two birthday parties to prepare for. My in laws aren't coming down for 4-5 days. Nope. This is a great time for a visit from the plague. Love, The only healthy one left
Kindly leave my house!! Dh is now puking on the couch. Are you happy?? My guess is he won't be nearly as helpful overnight tonight. Thanks a bunch. Im not tired already. I definitely don't have two birthday parties to prepare for. My in laws aren't coming down for 4-5 days. Nope. This is a great time for a visit from the plague. Love, The only healthy one left
Oh my goodness. I can't believe you are going through all of this with a newborn. Hugs and hugs and hugs....
Dear brain, My child does not have shit as one of his spelling words. The word is shirt. Please instruct my mouth to say it correctly. Signed, The mom of a slightly confused first grader.
This is hilarious. My dd1 can't say her r's very well and fox and fork both sound like f*ck. It's hilarious.
Dear brain, My child does not have shit as one of his spelling words. The word is shirt. Please instruct my mouth to say it correctly. Signed, The mom of a slightly confused first grader.
This is hilarious. My dd1 can't say her r's very well and fox and fork both sound like f*ck. It's hilarious.
DS spent all summer excitedly wearing his "cocks".
Post by mamaalysson on Jan 21, 2016 12:45:01 GMT -5
Dear behind us neighbors who I have never met before,
Thank you so, so much for hiring someone to take down a couple of trees today. Day four of being home with a sick kid, and cabin fever is setting in. Allowing them to stand on the buffet in the dining room to watch the arborist at work is saving our sanity. If you are ever looking for the answer to what cures cabin fever, it is apparently chainsaws. Always chainsaws.
Thank you. That slightly crazy-eyed frazzled woman you see peeping at your house