When did you finally get excited about being pregnant?

[Deleted]

I know, I'm a one trick pony lately.

Thank you for the advice. I really appreciate knowing my anxiety about this is not unfounded. I don't want to leave this out there.

TLDR: Pregnancy hormones and pressure from family are making it very difficult to get excited about being pregnant.

[Aquatica]

I'm 36 weeks and it still doesn't feel real, like I'm in denial that this huge change is happening. There are days when I'm excited and others days where I feel panicked like "omg, I'm going to have to CARE for a little human".

I am sorry you're going through stress ad pressure from family. I'd suggest not setting any plans and doing what you feel is comfortable.

[sallywalker]

First of all, take a deep breath.

I would be honest with your mom that it's all a little overwhelming at this point.

I wouldn't plan on the vacation that close to your due date if you are having to pay any costs up front. If you are not, then plan the vacation but make it clear that it will all depend on how you feel at the time and what you are comfortable with.

[raangoli]

It felt like I was holding my breath until the anatomy scan. Once that was done and everything looked good I felt like I could really plan and talk freely about being pregnant. I was so scared that there would be something wrong, mostly because our first pregnancy ended in a m/mc at 9 weeks.

Every now and then my anxiety gets the best of me and I worry that something is wrong, but it's been a lot better after all the NIPT and testing/ultrasounds.

[trafficgirl]

Honestly, I would not go on that trip. There is no way I'd want to be on a 10 hour car ride and walking around in those temps in the 3rd trimester.

I'm sorry you're stressed out

[Deleted]

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[cleo29]

With my first I was so excited I wanted to shout it from a bullhorn and at the same time feeling, "HOLY SHIT WHAT DID WE JUST DO!!!?" but she was planned.

With my second, she was a surprise and I felt worse than I had with the first, my head was not in the game and it took a while to feel happy about it. Second trimester is definitely the magic time and I am one those few women who likes maternity clothes. Finally, my stomach balances out my pass.

But, not matter what, it is ok and totally normal to feel the way you do. Have you seen the baby? That always perked me up a bit. And then feeling movement is pretty awesome before they become jerks who wedge their butt under your rib cage.

I would talk to your doctor about how you are feeling. There might be a med you can go on while pregnant. Also, ask your doctor about car travel for that long at that point in your pregnancy.

Lastly, and I am sorry for rambling, your pregnancy does not have to fit a mold. YOu don't have to feel a certain way and all that jazz. If you can, try to find a little something that makes you happy. Get your H involved in some of the appointments, it might make you feel better that he is involved.

But most of all big, big hugs.

[Gato]

I didn't ever get excited about being pregnant. My pregnancy was fine, no complications, but the whole time I was anywhere from mildly nervous to borderline panicking. I think that's totally normal for your first pregnancy.

As for the trip, if the idea is not making you happy, maybe just don't go? I traveled 20 hours in a car at 25 weeks and, while personally I'm glad I made the trip now, at the time it was NOT comfortable, to say the least. At 32 weeks? That's pushing it. You may feel more like nesting by then.

[miso]

You're supposed to be excited about being pregnant?

I was never excited about my pregnant state.

I do love my baby, though.

[Deleted]

I've had one ultrasound at 7 weeks to confirm the due date and heard the heartbeat. I'm still waiting to see my dr for the first time next week.

I just feel like there's been nothing but conflict surrounding this and it's been hard to get excited about, while everyone around me is having a great time enjoying the news.

[cleo29]

Jan 20, 2016 16:35:33 GMT -5 klekz37 said:

I've had one ultrasound at 7 weeks to confirm the due date and heard the heartbeat. I'm still waiting to see my dr for the first time next week.

I just feel like there's been nothing but conflict surrounding this and it's been hard to get excited about, while everyone around me is having a great time enjoying the news.

Yes they are excited about the baby. But they are also able to feel excited because they are not experiencing food aversions, nausea 24/7, bloat, aching joints. When you are not physically going through it, it is very easy to be excited.

tell them to stuff it, even if only in your head. it's ok.

[noodleoo]

Oh man, I'm sorry. That sounds really rough. It definitely took me a while to get past the freak out stage and into the excitement stage. I think I started to get exciyed about half way through, so maybe 20-25 weeks? That's about when my MS gave me a little break and when I started feeling movement, so definitely more fun.

A few things:
1) did you say your H doesn't want to go to the dr with you? Or did I misread that. Because he should be going. He should support you and he needs to be involved fully. Especially so he can have your back for the family stuff.

2) tell your mom to back off. I'm not sure if you can do that, but try. I could not have handled that much detail stuff that early in my pregnancy. I didn't really want to talk about that stuff because I was still way too freaked out and it gave me anxiety. If you feel the same, tell her to shut it for 2 months.

3) same goes for H's family. Honestly, I would not do a road trip at that part of your pregnancy. Talk to your OB about it, but i would not have been comfortable sitting in a car for that long at that time or being that far away from my dr. Everyone is different, but I would not commit to going until way closer to the day and after talking to your OB.

Hugs, I promise it gets better!

[Tacocat]

Until we heard the heartbeat for the first time, I didn't really feel like it was real since anything can happen in the 1st trimester. I LOVED the 2nd trimester when you have a cute little bump and all my food aversions went away. By 3rd trimester I was like get this thing out of me LOL. As far as traveling that far at 32-34 weeks, I think you'll be ok except for being somewhat uncomfortable. I'd just run it by your Dr. Are you able to back out without losing money if your Dr. advises you to stay home?

[trafficgirl]

Jan 20, 2016 16:32:38 GMT -5 miso said:

You're supposed to be excited about being pregnant?

I was never excited about my pregnant state.

I do love my baby, though.

[callmehales]

In the last few weeks, I've been more excited than scared out of my mind. But, we did IVF after almost 2 years of trying so I spent the entire first trimester balancing on the edge of terror/panic every day because I want to be a mom so badly.

Have H tell his family you appreciate the invite, but nothing is set is stone. Don't stress about something that's 6 months away, you might feel fine then. You might not. You don't have to decide now.

[dellabear]

If I was ever excited it was towards the end, when I could feel reasonably assured that there would be a baby and she would be healthy. Both pregnancies, the first trimester has been this awful time where nobody knows and I don't want to tell anyone or really acknowledge it for fear of something bad happening. Things got a little better after the 12 week u/s and again after the anatomy scan. Right now I'm really looking forward to viability. I still won't buy anything, set up a nursery or make big plans until the third tri. And I wouldn't travel in the third tri, I know lots do but I prefer to stay close to my doctors.

I also don't like being the centre of attention and used the excuse that we were living far away from family with my first to not have a shower. I had a lot of anxiety leading up to my wedding shower. I'm glad your mom is willing to dial it back for you.

[Deleted]

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[marylennox]

I'm sorry you're feeling so anxious. I know for me, I was excited from the start of it, but also had a lot of anxiety, which seemed to gradually decrease the longer my pregnancy went on. If you are having a hard time it wouldn't hurt to talk to your doctor about it. But also, there's no rule that says you have to get excited or feel any particular way.

I would not travel that close to your due date. Your H needs to support you in this and get on board with whatever makes you comfortable. I would be having a seriouus conversation with him and with your mom as well.

[Deleted]

I was over the moon excited from the very beginning with my first.

I mean, I was excited when I saw the positive pregnancy tests when I was pregnant with Theo and Ilya, but I miscarried twice between Sofia and Theo. I quickly went from "omg fuck yeah!", to "oh shit, what was that weird cramp". I had crazy anxiety with Theo and Ilya until I saw the heartbeat. That's when I finally allowed myself to be happy and enjoy.

[slcjess]

Well, to answer the original question, like, last week. I'm 38w. Lol. I'm glad your h is going to the appointment with you. I would also not do the trip, not really because it's so close to your due date but because at that point, I was (am) huge and sore and cranky, and would not want to spend that long being nice to other people, and that's ok! See how you feel. Maybe you'll be in the mood to go when the time comes, maybe you won't. Either way, it's ok.

[cabbagecabbage]

First time, super excited. Then I miscarried. Second time, I was more cautiously thrilled but I felt a calm sense it would be ok. Once we saw the heartbeat, I was excited. This time was an oops and I am still bewildered and half in denial but I get excited thinking of a future family with two kids. I'm 13 weeks tomorrow. I think as it gets more real, I'll be more excited and more terrified in equal measure.

[pirate]

Well, this week I discovered I can poke her and make her move and I think that's cool. But up until I could feel her move, she was just something making me feel crappy, so it was hard to get excited.

[isabel]

Your H doesn't want to go to your OB appointment?

[underwaterrhymes]

Jan 20, 2016 17:16:07 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

I was excited about being pregnant, but it wasn't really an enjoyable time.

Yes.

I was so excited for the end result, but I generally hated being pregnant.

But it was decidedly more fun once I stopped vomiting, actually looked pregnant, and I could feel them moving.

[Jalapeñomel]

I have a lot of conflicting emotions this time around, so I understand your hesitations. ((((Hugs)))

[Deleted]

Jan 20, 2016 17:50:35 GMT -5 isabel said:

Your H doesn't want to go to your OB appointment?

He wants to go to those, he's totally on board with going.
He hates baby showers as much as I do and isn't excited about going to ours. I'm not either. I'm uncomfortable being the focus of attention. I felt the same way about my bridal shower, even though it was very nice. He went to that one too, so I know he'll go to this one.

[mskitkat]

I'm 32 weeks and sort of getting excited? That could be terror though.

[Deleted]

After talking with H again once he got home, I feel a lot better. I shared all of my concerns about travelling and he admitted he hadn't considered all that. He also said he admits he hasn't been as supportive as he should be because it doesn't feel real to him either. Mostly because nothing has changed for him. Thanks for all the advice, hopefully I can calm down a little now.

Edited for poor grammar. Yikes.

[underwaterrhymes]

Also, I feel like I need to say that although I hated being pregnant, it was not in any way a reflection of how I felt about my kids when they got here.

What you're feeling is totally normal.

[Deleted]

Jan 20, 2016 18:10:32 GMT -5 underwaterrhymes said:

Also, I feel like I need to say that although I hated being pregnant, it was not in any way a reflection of how I felt about my kids when they got here.

What you're feeling is totally normal.

This helps. A lot. Thank you.