tell me about being a sahw

[Deleted]

We're probably jumping the gun, but last night h asked if I wanted to quit my job, at least in the short term, and stay home with the dog. I do hate my job now and a mandate came down that wfh is on a case by case basis. In 2010 I was laid off for about 6 weeks and it was a great "vacation", but I don't know how to not work. I do love working, but if this is what's better for the dog, then so be it.

Financially, we can swing it, but this would mean we'd have to put future vacations and saving for our forever house on hold.

Would I be making a huge mistake to do this? Am I crazy for considering this?

[jennlin]

i think SAHW with no kids is silly. but that's JMO. dogs have crates, and can be trained w/o a SAH. the only reason to SAH with no kids is if you have money coming out of your ears and/or have 30+ hours of hobbies a week. at least work part time.

[Deleted]

It wouldn't be forever. Like 6 months or less.

[mkate710]

I've never been a SAHW wife, but I'm like you in that I don't know how to not work full time. Occasionally I'll get a company holiday that H doesn't get, or take a day off to get stuff done, and it's just... weird. I'm sure I could get used to it, but I would feel better if it was just for the short term.

Jenn's right in that a dog can be crated and trained without someone staying home, but when we first got our dog, I got really sick and wound up having to take a week off. That week of being home with her made a HUGE difference in warming her up to me, getting her trained and just generally getting her adjusted to her new home.

I don't know that I'd quit my job over training a dog, but H and I have agreed that we will take time off with future dogs when we first get them. If you aren't crazy about your current job anyways and can swing it financially, I don't see anything wrong with being home for a little while if you can handle being home.

[jennlin]

FWIW, hercules, my first dog, we trained as a puppy in a crate, when i was in school and my parents worked. and i don't know if you remember, but i had always-always-always been complimented on how well behaved he was.

since un-named dog is a little older, she probably can get potty training down pretty quickly, but if she has behavior issues, those are harder to unlearn.

[jennlin]

if it's 6 months or less, go for it, if you hate your job. but set a deadline and stick to it.

[fiddles]

I say go for it. If you can do it financially, why not? I'm not in the camp that only those with kids are allowed to stay at home and not work. If you're truly not happy with your job, quit. Use the time to train your dog and maybe look for a job you'll love.

If you are worried about getting bored you can always volunteer somewhere. The animal shelter is always looking for volunteers. Or you could get a part time job for a few hours a week.

[llh0211]

Aug 29, 2012 9:35:29 GMT -5 @sfgal530 said:

But, IMO, if you hate your job and are miserable there, you should make some sort of move - quit to find a new job, start looking for a new job now, quit and stay at home for a while, whatever. I just think we do a really good job in this country of working in jobs we hate and when you don't have to do that, I don't think you should. You can't get any day back, and if you're unhappy in your job it can really take it's toll on other parts of your life.

I think sfgal makes an excellent point here. If it's short term, and you find other ways besides the pup to fill your time, it'd probably be a lot more rewarding than staying in a job that you're absolutely miserable with. It'd also allow you time to look for another job that you would enjoy.

I say go for it. And I'm a little jealous.

[niq]

I think you will go BSC. I would do it if there was something I wanted to do that wasn't "work" but would still take up a ton of time. Like write a book.

[hallows]

UW, you are so driven, I really think you'd go crazy being a SAHW. Even if it is just for 6 months. At first you'll think six months is nbd, but after the first few weeks, you'll wonder what you were thinking, lol. If there are things you want to do in the next 6 months, like volunteering, writing a book, soul searching, etc, then I agree with Jenn and say set a deadline and stick to it. Otherwise, I think you'd be miserable. Just my 2 cents. You could also do less time if it's something you really want to do. As for the dog, she'll adjust. She can be crate trained, and she'll love going into her little place to sleep all day (dogs sleep 16-18 hours/day anyway).

[amandasw]

Aug 29, 2012 11:16:16 GMT -5 hallows said:

UW, you are so driven, I really think you'd go crazy being a SAHW. Even if it is just for 6 months. At first you'll think six months is nbd, but after the first few weeks, you'll wonder what you were thinking, lol. If there are things you want to do in the next 6 months, like volunteering, writing a book, soul searching, etc, then I agree with Jenn and say set a deadline and stick to it. Otherwise, I think you'd be miserable. Just my 2 cents. You could also do less time if it's something you really want to do. As for the dog, she'll adjust. She can be crate trained, and she'll love going into her little place to sleep all day (dogs sleep 16-18 hours/day anyway).

ditto. all of this.

[FrozenSunshine]

I was sahw for 10 months when we moved down here and I was miserable. I hated. Like you said the first little while was an awesome break.

I agree that if you're miserable at your job, you should do something about it. But this should be based on your job, not because of the dog.

[Deleted]

+1 to Hallows and amandasw (and Niq). I think you'd go BSC after a few weeks...and be too tempted to fill a bunch of time with shopping.

[Deleted]

I am in the process of looking for a new job. One of the interviews is with my old company. Not my exact old job, but something close and I group I used to work closely with, so I know I love them. If I get either one of these jobs that I'm interviewing for I might try and delay my start date as much as I can and leave this job as early as I can.

If i dont, then I might just quit, set a deadline and figure it out from there. Thanks Nexties.

[hallows]

Aug 29, 2012 11:59:25 GMT -5 @uwhuskygirl said:

I am in the process of looking for a new job. One of the interviews is with my old company. Not my exact old job, but something close and I group I used to work closely with, so I know I love them. If I get either one of these jobs that I'm interviewing for I might try and delay my start date as much as I can and leave this job as early as I can.

If i dont, then I might just quit, set a deadline and figure it out from there. Thanks Nexties.

Good plan. :Y: Good luck!

[emyinpink]

I think sfgal has some really good advice/thoughts.

For me personally, I know that I'm not fulfilled without a career. That being said, I loved having basically 6 weeks off when I last switched jobs (I took all of my vacation that was expiring and it was the holidays). DH on the other hand, if my salary could easily support both of us without a sacrifice in lifestyle I could totally see him quitting his job (well, maybe not his new job, since he's really happy) and working on game development full time.

I do think it's important to think about your longer term goals (1 year, 5 years, 10 years) and make sure that your plans to SAH fit within those goals.

[BlackCanary]

Apparently I'm the odd one out. I enjoyed being a SAHW when I was one. Maybe it's because I'm somewhat of a loner and I don't mind not interacting with people during the day. I got house chores done and was able to read more. ;D

That's why I enjoy what I do now, I work by myself. And at PetSmart I will be interacting with puppies more than people.

[sarack]

uw- i think that you hate your job right now. not doing this and collecting your thoughts and deciding what you want to do in the future and taking care of your dog is all coming at the same time and i think it'd be cool to be able to not do something structured (i.e. work) for a while. i know you can swing it.. and it would make you happy.

i seriously think that you should do what you want to do. if you and h think that is a good idea, then do it.

[karebear219]

Aug 29, 2012 11:25:01 GMT -5 @amandasw said:

Aug 29, 2012 11:16:16 GMT -5 hallows said:

UW, you are so driven, I really think you'd go crazy being a SAHW. Even if it is just for 6 months. At first you'll think six months is nbd, but after the first few weeks, you'll wonder what you were thinking, lol. If there are things you want to do in the next 6 months, like volunteering, writing a book, soul searching, etc, then I agree with Jenn and say set a deadline and stick to it. Otherwise, I think you'd be miserable. Just my 2 cents. You could also do less time if it's something you really want to do. As for the dog, she'll adjust. She can be crate trained, and she'll love going into her little place to sleep all day (dogs sleep 16-18 hours/day anyway).

ditto. all of this.

Yup me too. Speaking from someone that who was recently off for 5 months to be with a baby. It was so nice to go back to work. I love bkb and would love to spend more time with her, but I would loose too much of myself if I didn't work.

[InBetweenDays]

I don't think I could do it without going crazy. But I would consider it if and only if my income was truly expendable. I wouldn't do it if it meant dipping into savings, I wouldn't do it if it meant we couldn't still contribute to our savings, and I wouldn't do it if it meant putting off vacations or buying a house (vacations are way too important to me). With this economy I would also be worried about trying to find a job again after a 6 month unexplained hiatus.