Fb vent

[lala]

Argh, I'm irrationally annoyed at this fb friend. She took her 8 year twins to get their tonsils & adenoids out without telling them. They thought they were going out to breakfast until they arrived at the surgery center!

I know it's hard, the kids would be anxious, but isn't parenting helping them cope & work through it?!

I don't know why I'm Letting this get to me, but I feel so bad for these kids.

[lala]

Exactly. I know it's hard dealing with an anxious child, but you have to teach them how to cope & process stressors.

[Deleted]

That makes me really sad, too. It just seems like it's the easy way out for the parent because they don't want to deal with the kids' anxiety. It can't be great for the kids' trust either. I can't imagine DS trusting me if I took him for surprise surgery.

[cjcouple]

That's ridiculous. I have a child with extremely high anxiety and while I may not tell him until the morning of, I would absolutely tell him at home before we left. I also would not lie and say we are going out for something fun like breakfast and drive to the freaking Dr office for surgery.

I didn't go into detail with my 5yo when he had to go in for a bone biopsy surgery but we absolutely told him he was going to hospital. And we explained he would be sleeping for a while and would have a cast afterwards on his leg etc.

[cna]

That is not ok. How does she expect her kids to develop coping skills if she lies to them about unpleasant things?

[thecheshirekat]

Whoa. That is really messed up. Those kids are going to have some major trust issues.

[lexus]

That is not ok!

[abs]

That is awful!! My kid can be very anxious, too, but she does best if she knows exactly what to expect. That's a terrible violation of trust.

[lala]

Glad it was just not me! She's an elem school teacher, which somehow makes it worse, too.

[Deleted]

Not feeling that at all . We are big on talking to ds like a big kid and definitely prepare him for things. Wth?! Totally side eyeing your "friend"

[Deleted]

Agree with all others


Yikes. Not ok.

[cna]

Jan 26, 2016 20:42:09 GMT -5 lala said:

Glad it was just not me! She's an elem school teacher, which somehow makes it worse, too.

That does make it worse. What if she says to some kid on the playground "it's ok, Johnny, you're going to get ice cream" when he really just broke his arm falling off a swing.

[court26]

That is horrible! And they are 8! They aren't going to forget that time when mom blindsided them!

[cabbagecabbage]

That's awful. I try to give minimal notice to DD 3 if there is a shot or blood draw but I tell her before we get there! I'd be prepping her for surgery for at least a couple days with reassurance and talking about what to expect.

[chelsmat]

Ugh thats awful. DS1 (6) and DS2 (4) are both having their tonsils out in a couple weeks. They have been told for weeks, the dr gave us a special book and we are answering questions as they come up. They actually don't seem to anxious. THat is just so mean. 

[scattered]

I feel like this kind of horseshit would take an already anxious child and create trust issues. DS has anxiety issues, and we need to talk him through every thing down to the minute details of the experience so he isn't scared. I'm his mother, that's my job.

Can you imagine fooling your child like that? Hey honey let's go get donuts! JUST KIDDING LETS GO HAVE SURGERY INSTEAD.