DH job situation

[Deleted]

It's stressing me out! So since DH lost his job, he's been doing contract work, which is great. The guy is an acquaintance of DH's, the work environment is good and DH would like to stay there if he could.

Anyway, last week DH got a job offer, and today he decided to turn it down. He talked to the guy he's doing contracts for, and the guy said he can guarantee 2 months contract work and then he'll look at taking DH on full time. I don't know what would change in two months, and DH didn't ask, because he never asks important questions!!

So I'm kind of freaking out that he turned down a solid offer for something that might disappear in two months. DH doesn't really understand why I'm upset, which is making it worse.

What says DWP? Am I being unreasonable? I know I'm not a risk taker when it comes to money.

[andrewsgal]

Um no I wouldn't be happy either. DH would not go contract until I went back to work full time. I prefer security too especially when he was the only bread winner. This should have been a decision you made together.

[jag01]

What was his reasoning for turning it down? More information is needed. Does he not understand the we are in a recession and jobs are not a dime a dozen anymore?

[lexus]

That would have been a decision we made together. I would have also been nervous about stability and wanted either a certain amount in savings or for me to be back to work. Is that an option for you?

[expectantsteelerfan]

Yeah would not be happy, you should have been a much bigger part of that decision making, and if you had reservations about him turning it down they should have been addressed before acting.

[cjcouple]

Definitely a decision you should have made together. I would be upset as well.

[vettymama]

I definitely would not be happy and worried about stability with the contract work.

[dizzycooks]

Nope not ok. We would have decided together. When offered a job our mutual response is "I need to think it over and talk with my spouse. Can I give you my decision tomorrow before X?" It's never been a problem. However, there wouldn't have been a discussion of it were contract work, we would not accept contract work in place of ft work.

[Deleted]

Another vote for it should have been a joint decision, and no you're not being unreasonable, I would be very upset and stressed as well. I'm sorry

[quesyrah]

Definitely should have been a joint decision but I am curious what his reason was for turning it down.

[cna]

I'm with everyone else. That should have been a decision the two of you made together and I would love to know what the reasoning was behind turning down stability in favor of uncertainty. I would be pissed.

[chatterbox]

I would be really upset. This sounds like something my husband would do.

[Deleted]

Thanks all! Sorry I posted then was out all this morning. My DH is an emotional decision maker, and it's gotten us in plenty of crappy situations before. The only reason he could give me was that he "wasn't feeling" the other place. He wants to stay with the guy he's working for now and trusts him when he says he has 2 months of work and will then (hopefully) be able to offer him a salaried position. I've never met the guy, so I'm not comfortable just trusting that he'll be in a position to hire DH in 2 months.

He said we would make the decision together, but he had obviously already decided to stay at the contract place. He was supposed to respond to the other offer on Monday, and we didn't even talk about until after the kids were in bed on Monday.

I'm super irritated, but not really surprised. My H is the oddest combination of not very trusting/open with people he SHOULD communicate everything to, and then super trusting of strangers. I asked him "Who do you think is looking out for our family's interest more, me or contract guy?" It's just not something that even occurs to DH.

As for me going back to work, I went to meet an advisor at a college last week, and I think I'll take a course online to become an accounting assistant. But it'll probably take me a year. Even though I have a Masters, there just aren't jobs in my new town for what I do. (Research and evaluation).

I'm happy to hear I'm not alone on being frustrated! My DH also doesn't ask a lot of questions or make demands. He comes from a super passive aggressive household. I think he sort of understands where I'm coming from now, but it's too late for him to take the solid job offer.