If you do mornings solo with your kids, come in

[pinotgrig]

H is going to accept the 4-10s job. I'm a little nervous since mornings and daycare drop off will be all on me as H will be at the office at 6am. But, needs to get out of his current toxic environment and this is his dream job in his dream industry.

So, how do you do it?

G is 19 months and I'm due with #2 in July. H starts the new job late this month, so I'll have 4-5 months to get the morning routine down with 1 kid. Then I'll take 3 months off when #2 comes before going back to work. G will still go to daycare during my ML, but I can take him at my leisure. I'm most concerned about when I'll have 2 kids to wrangle, one who is hopefully ebf.

Please tell me this is manageable. My commute to daycare and work is super easy - daycare is 7 minutes from our house and then my work is another 4 minutes from daycare. So I'm fine there if I can just get out of the house.

[snowflurry]

Get yourself up and completely ready. Pack daycare bags, your lunch, etc. Then wake up G and get him dressed, teeth brushed, whatever else he needs. Right before you walk out the door, wake up baby and get them dressed.

This all assumes no kids need to be fed before daycare drop off. I found it so much easier to do breakfast/first bottle at daycare. But neither one of my kids woke up hungry.

[countthestars]

I'm only one week in to getting two kids to daycare so we're still finding our groove, but it hasn't been as bad as expected. Unfortunately the baby doesn't like to sleep at night so the hardest part for me is getting myself out of bed. Typically we do this:

DS wakes up and eats. I change his diaper and clothes.
DD wakes up. She sits on the bed and watches youtube on my phone while I get myself ready. I shower at night and WFH so this is not elaborate. On days I go into the office, I pick out clothes before bed.
Everyone downstairs (this takes two trips because DD likes to be carried. lol)
TV on for DD, throw milk and breakfast at her - usually microwaved pancakes.
DS hangs in his swing or RnP while I make sure all lunches are ready and in the car. Put shoes on DD, put DS in carseat and go.

I think shutting off the tv is the worst part - I may try to cut TV out of the morning routine and have her sit at the table to eat breakfast. The key is having everything ready to go at night - lunches, bottles, clothes picked out, etc. You can do it!!

[vtdiamond]

Thank you for posting this, I was wondering the same thing as I will be doing this soon if DH gets the new job he's interviewing for.

[water*drop]

DD was 3 when DS was born, so the extra age helps, but it's actually not as bad as I had expected (though that may change once DS is old enough to protest more...).

I get everything ready the night before. I get up before the kids, even though that means getting up hours before I need to leave the house, because it's hard to get ready with them awake.

DD picks her own clothes and dresses herself. This means she rarely matches and is always wearing 35 layers of all of her favorite things, but whatever. Daycare works with the kids undressing/dressing themselves a lot, and she was successfully doing this by 2.5ish.

DD has a toddler clock to keep her in her room until I'm ready for her to come out. We successfully introduced the clock at exactly 2 years old. If she wakes up early, she usually gets herself dressed while she waits for her clock to turn green so she can have TV time before we leave.

They eat breakfast at daycare, but I obviously nurse DS on demand. If DD wakes up early enough to be dressed before her clock turns green, she eats a PB&J while she watches TV.

I use the TV very liberally in the mornings, and if DD is really clingy, I give her the Leappad (usually only used during travel) to distract her.

[pinotgrig]

Ok, this is making me feel better! I think I definitely need to move my shower routine to the night before; that will buy me a ton of time in the am.

H already knows he's 100% in charge in making sure bottles for #2 and daycare bags are ready to go, along with my pump parts.

I make a grocery store run once a week or so during my lunch break to keep lunches/snacks stocked at work, so that's another thing off my list.

[spk926]

I do them all alone. DH flexes his hours and leaves early but he's home by 3:30 daily. The trade off is worth it to me.

Like you, I only have 1 right now but #2 is due next month. I won't go back to work until #2 is 6 months though so that should be easier than him being a tiny newborn, I'm hoping at least!

I wake up at 5:45/6 and shower and get dressed. I go in and get DD up at 6:40 and get her dressed, brush her teeth and do her hair. We're down in the kitchen by 6:50. She stands at the Learning Tower and plays on the iPad, eats muffins or just talks while I either make my lunch (if I was lazy the night before), grab my lunch from the fridge, and pack my work bag. I get her shoes and jacket on, crate the dogs, and then get my shoes and jacket on. We're out the door at 7:00. I'm at work by 7:30 but technically don't have to be until 8 so I always have a 1/2 hour buffer in case it's a slow morning or something.

I don't mind it and find it easier than on days when DH is home or is working from home. It's one of those things that once you do it a few times you find your rhythm and it just works. DD eats breakfast at daycare so while she has a snack while I'm finishing getting stuff ready it's helpful that I don't have to make sure she's totally fed.

[dcn]

When I was working, I tried to get up and work out and shower before Ds woke up. If he was up early he watched the iPad in my room or bathroom while I got ready. I gave him some Cheerios and milk if he wanted, but he ate breakfast at daycare so I didn't have to worry about that.

Everything was packed the night before so I just had to get him dressed, pour coffee into a travel mug (DH made it before he left) and get in the car. I ate at work, yogurt or instant oatmeal.

Prep as much as possible the night before!

[jeaniebueller]

You will be fine! Get ready before the kids wake up. This may require you to shower the night before or get up really early the first few months. Let the toddler eat at daycare. If he really needs something and you want to contain him while you nurse, put him in the high chair with some cheerios. Really, you have got this!

[gerberdaisy]

We only have one right now, but its really easy.

6:15- I wake up shower, get ready. I'm really low maintenance in the morning, wash my hair every other day.
6:50ish- Wash up DD, get her dressed, go downstairs. She'll eat a quick snack while I get everything ready to bring with us.
7:10- out the door to daycare.

I'm guessing this will get more difficult as she gets older (17 months now), but for now it isn't a problem.

[runblondie26]

That's a pretty sweet commute, so you have that in your favor!

I usually work in oldest to youngest order when getting ready in the morning. The longer the little ones can sleep, the less time I need to spend entertaining them in the morning.

I get myself ready, then wake up DD who starts getting herself ready. 20 minutes before we're to ready leave, I get my 2 yr old up, hand him a pouch to eat, and get him dressed. Then finally, I wake up my 5 month old, change him, plop him in the carrier, and out the door we go.

My 6 yo and infant are the easy ones. The toddler is the wild card, and can be a little more challenging to wrangle some mornings.

[NandaB]

I did it all before I went back to work (h is sah now). It was a little different since I was only getting them ready for preschool and me just ready enough for public, but I did the same as @this: As much as I can the night before (so I prep the diaper bag, make lunches, fill the coffee maker... And then I got up an hour before I need to get them up. It doesn't take me a whole hour to get ready,, but then I get ten minutes to drink my coffee and prepare for the day.

I also try to keep to a schedule in the morning and I bribe then with tv. (big kids are are 4.5 and 2.5). So they get up at 645, potty and change diaper, go to the table and watch tv while waiting for and eating breakfast. At 720 tv goes off and they get dressed, and we do teeth and hair and then they can watch tv until its time to go. I wake the baby while they're eating and give him a bottle and let him hang in the highchair and play while his food settles and I help the big kids with clothes, teeth and hair (he was a barfer) then I get him dressed and Chuck everyone in the car while yelling about shoes and lunches and being late again.

[ECB]

Over the years, the things I've done (I have a LOT of mornings totally alone due to DHs job):

When DS was a baby and his wake up was early, I'd put him in some kind of containment device. A jumpy thing attached to my bathroom door, a PNP set up in my bedroom, etc. Sometimes put the TV on for him to watch.

As he's gotten older and now, at 7, often sleeps a little later in the morning, I get up early enough so that I have my wake up time and then can pretty much get myself ready before having to deal with him.

I DEFINITELY agree- get as much ready the night before as you can.

Remember- PLENTY of women do this every day. You aren't the first. It will be tough at first, especially when the kids are so young, but you'll find a rhythm that works and as they get older, it will get easier too.

[beefjerky]

Totally manageable, you've got this! The biggest thing for me is getting somewhat of a routine and schedule down as well as prepping everything I can the night before. I've got three kids (now 10, 8 and 2) and I've been doing mornings solo for as long as I can remember. 

My only advice would be to make it as easy on yourself as possible. I think it's hard to give specific advice because everything works differently for everyone. So basically, I'm just here to say you can totally do it  .

[lillioness]

I'll echo others that I do everything I possibly can at night (prepping lunches, breakfast, diaper bag, etc). I also pick out the kids clothes for the week on Sunday and lay them out in a sweater organizer so it's one less thing to worry about. I try to wake up before the kids to get everything I can done before they wake, but that's not always possible. DS still isn't super reliable with his wake up time. I'll be honest, it's a lot tougher when the kids get up early but I can keep them occupied with a cup of dry cereal and tv. It will be harder while the baby is young and less predicable but you will develop a routine. At this point I'm almost more annoyed when DH is home in the mornings! I'm used to the routine and having him here just messes everything up haha

[anaps28]

Doing things ahead is definitely key.
I am on duty from wake up till bedtime solo 90% of the time. You will be fine it just takes getting used to.
DS1 (almost 5) wakes first and sometimes that wakes DS2 (16 mos)
We get changed , head down stairs for breakfast. The older one will either do something at the table or watch a show. Then I head upstairs put DS2 in the crib and I get showered/dressed and then I get DS2 ready to go and put him in the car. Then I wrangle the older one to get in the car, grab lunch and my shit and head out.
It was actually easier when DS2 wasn't mobile Bc then you can set them down and you know they aren't moving.
There's a lot of yelling out "SOCKS SHOES COATS"

[starlily]

I had to do mornings solo for a while when I was pregnant with DD2.

The key for me was doing as much prep as I could the night before - prep lunches, have something easy on hand for breakfast, choose my outfit, put things in tbe car, etc. I also woke up early enough to get myself ready first, before waking up DD1. The same is true now with both kids on the occasional mornings I have to ride solo.

[jessnpaul]

DS is a little older so it's gotten easier. He can mostly get himself dressed (although I have to keep saying "Ben, hurry up!!!") and eat by himself as long as I make his breakfast. I pack his backpack at night as well as put out his clothes, but being that he's 3 he usually insists on wearing something entirely different in the morning than I picked out! ;-)

I only have to do this once or twice a week (DH WFH a lot) so it's manageable. I worry when I'll have the baby too, but I'll just have to get up earlier. I am so not a morning person

[lurknomore]

Ours is the opposite. DH does mornings alone but I do 99% of the prep work. Everything ready to go the night before and by the door. Including coats, hats, shoes, etc. Outfits are picked out the night before. Lunches packed to the amount they can be. DH wakes up, gets everyone up and then showers himself while they get to watch 1 show (we're pretty lax on TV). The older two need to get dressed while he's showering. He gets the baby dressed when he's done. Teeth brushed. Everyone downstairs. Only DD1 actually needs bfast since daycare feeds the little ones. But he gets everyone something to eat just to keep the peace. Makes and eats his food (and feeds the dogs) while they are eating. Coats on and out the door.

Some mornings are total shit shows, especially when I fail to get something ready. But for the most part he can accomplish all this in just an hour. BF a baby does add a layer to it. But you can def figure it all out! GL!

[IrishBelle]

I am on my own in the morning most of the time although mine are 10 and 5 now.  DH works a lot of OT and he has a choice to go in early or stay late.  Pre-kids he would stay late but now he will go in early so he is home in time for dinner, bedtime, etc.

Back when DD2 was a newborn, I had to get DD1 to the bus stop by 7:50. I would let DD2 sleep until just before we left the house, move her from her crib to the car seat and take DD1 to the bus. I would change and feed her once we were back home. We would be out of the house for 10-15 minutes total.

Once you are back at work, the key really is to do everything you can the night before. Lunches made and in the fridge, clothes laid out, bags packed and shower the night before if you can.

It will take some time but you will find your groove.  For me, I actually find that things run smoother when its just the 3 of us in the mornings.  On the odd morning DH is home, it messes with our routine.

[luckyno7]

It's manageable. I find the easiest thing to do is prep as much as you can the night before.

I try to be ready before the kids get up, if my older 2 get up while I am getting ready they play or watch Netflix on the iPad.

They usually pick out their outfit the night before so there is no fighting to get dressed. The baby is easy once you understand the babies schedule and when the baby will want to nurse you can plan around getting ready at that time.

[Deleted]

Now that my mom watches the kids in the house I don't have to get them ready. But when J was in daycare I did it on my own most days.

I did as much as I possibly could the night before. Get all bottles and lunches packed, clothes set out, pumping supplies all ready, etc. I think prepping the night before is key. Anytime I decided I was too tired to do it and went to bed without prepping I regretted it. This is also how H was able to help.

I used to get up super early to pump because I needed that extra session. Then I would shower and get myself ready before J woke up. If for some reason he did wake up I'd just bring him in my room to hang out while I finished getting ready. I also did very minimal hair/makeup during the first year when I was pumping. Then I'd change J, nurse him, grab our stuff and out the door.

J always ate breakfast at daycare since I dropped him off at 645. But as he got older he was often hungry when he got up so I'd give him a pouch or some cheerios to eat while I finished getting ready.

[longtimenopost]

I mean, you don't know what kind of baby you'll have but it's doable. Thankfully my toddler is a good sleeper, so she'll sleep until 8 if I let her. My rough schedule:

Make lunch and fill water bottles the night before so I just have to throw them in the bag.
7:00 - I either feed the baby then put her in the PNP and shower, or shower then wake and feed her.
7:30 - wake up A and change her, she usually eats there but if she's hungry she'll munch on some cheerios.
7:45 - put baby in carseat, take everything out to the car.
7:50 - load girls and drive away.

Eta- it takes me about 15 to 20 minutes to shower and dress. I generally wear no makeup and go to work with wet hair so there's that

[pescalita]

Totally manageable. I've always been on my own for mornings, my H leaves at about 6.

They have a toddler alarm clock that turns green at 7:15. At points they've had trouble staying in their room until then, but usually it's fine. Currently we have the inside doorknob baby-proofed so the 4 year old can open it but the 2 year old can't.

I eat breakfast, drink my coffee and start getting dressed while they're still in their room.

When they come out, we get them dressed. I'm always pushing to see what they can do themselves.

Then they watch cartoons while I finish getting dressed. I give a warning when it's time to put on shoes. We brush teeth and hair and then it's out the door.

Everyone carries something to the car and they strap themselves in. Depending on where they're at at the moment I've had them both get in/out the same door, but I only had a small time where I had to ferry them to the car separately.

The time where you will have to BF a baby in the morning, or bring an infant bucket, or change two diapers is so small. Just about the time you figure out the new normal, it changes again.

My biggest issue now is keeping everyone out of tantrums, myself included.

[lindsaymg]

If I am by myself (H is traveling).

I shower at night and blow dry my hair.

DD (6m) usually wakes up 6ish and nurses and goes back to sleep. ETA: daycare gives her breakfast that we pack now that she has started solids.

I get DS (7) up at 6:35, he is out the door to his bus stop by 6:52 (bus comes at 6:59). We have his clothes out the night before and he grabs a breakfast bar as he runs out the door.

I get dressed, do hair and makeup, and load up the car with laptop bag, bottle bag, and purse.

I get DD up at 7:45ish, get her dressed, in the infant seat.

We get out the door around 8, drop DD off at 8:10, in the office around 8:30.

[zarapipe]

My husband does mornings solo and he is the least organized parent ever. It has gotten so much easier as the kids get older. Basically the key to survival is getting yourself ready first. Get kids up at the last possible moments, and have them eat at school or dc if possible. Our school started offering breakfast to all of the elementary kids. LIFE CHANGER! It's not a huge breakfast- usually yogurt and fruit, yogurt and a granola bar, etc. It's grab and go. They grab it at a cart in the hallway and eat in their classrooms during announcements. It's two things and milk.

[linz]

I've always done mornings alone. I wake at 615/630. Shower, do hair makeup, get dressed by 7. My kids door is closed most of the way overnight and I shut my door but they never wake to the sound of hair dryer. I think they're just used to it. At 7 I wake them and get them dressed. We go straight to high chairs and they get cereal, yogurt, fruit, milk. Something to hold them over until they eat breakfast at daycare. Then from high chairs we get coats on and go straight to car by 730. While they eat I make my lunch or breakfast if I didn't the night before. I don't have to pack any bags since daycare has their diapers and a change of clothes. Our routine is very easy. 

[electricmayhem]

I do mornings solo two out of every three weeks--DH works a rotating overnight shift.  My kids are 4, 2 and 6 months.

I don't really do anything the night before, but I figured out the bare minimum of what needs to be done to get everyone out happy, and stick to that.  In my house, this means the TV is on from when my oldest wakes up until it's time to put on coats and shoes.  He's an early riser (always has been), so he has to stay occupied so I can get ready. I mostly take care of myself first and dress the kids last.  Right now, it takes me ~1.5 hours to get everything done, so I am up by 6 a.m. at the latest and try to be out the door by 7:20.  My baby still eats overnight, but rarely does in the morning (this is pure luck), but if that were not true, I'd be getting up earlier to account for that.  I have all of our laundry done and put away on Sunday nights so there's no rummaging for clothes.  

In all honesty, the hardest parts of my day are getting everyone in and out of the car, especially now that it's winter.  It takes FOREVER, way longer than getting anyone dressed!  

[kershnic]

Feb 4, 2016 11:07:50 GMT -5 @mrsbecky said:

Really for us being alone in the AMs is a lot easier than being alone in the PM ha.

Totally this, ha.

Usually I'm not alone for the whole morning, but when it happens:

1) Have everything humanly possible prepped the night before, including anyone who needs lunches, extra diapers, milk, snowpants, whatever, all sitting in easy to grab places (either in a bag together in the fridge for those things, or in their proper bags right by the door).  Or I guess if you're driving you could even put stuff in the car the night before?

2) If at all possible wake up before the kids and shower.  

3) If kids wake up I usually stick them in their highchairs, either with a toy or with something like Cheerios and milk, while I get stuff done that I can't do with them running around.  

4) After I'm mostly ready myself (pretty much everything except pants and shoes, which i try to not to wear in the house due to cat hair) I get them cleaned up, out of their chairs.  Baby gate us into their room to diaper and dress. 

Up until pretty recently (they're 23 months) the only way I could get anything major done with them around was to contain them in either highchairs or baby jail.  But within the past 1-2 months we've gotten to a point that they can often play together safely while I get dressed/make lunch/those sorts of tasks.  I still won't shower without them contained.  The good news is that your older child will be in a more capable age range by the time your baby is at all mobile.  

[bazinga]

DH has to be at work early so I almost always do mornings solo. For me, the big thing is to have myself ready before DD gets up. I'm usually up around 5:30, get DD up around 6:20 and we are out the door at 6:50. In that half hour that DD is up, I get her dressed and do her hair, give her a little something to eat and let her play a little. Usually I make my lunch during this time, but it would be so much easier if I made it the night before.