Getting a day away from the kids

[Deleted]

Do you ever get a whole day (or half day) away from your kids? If so, how often? Where do you go?

I've been sick for pretty much all of January and with DH getting fired and then working contracts, he's doing really long hours. I'm feeling so burned out from being with the kids all the time. I've realized that even when I do get the chance to get out, I just go do errands and I'm back within a couple of hours. (And not relaxed at all.)

So - tell me about how and where you escape from your kids! I need inspiration! (Preferably sort of cheap.)

[momin2013]

Umm....I get an hour or so when I go to the dentist, maybe two hours if I go for s spa treatment for my birthday. Other than that, sometimes DS and I will spend a week out of town at my parents' for a mini vacay, and I'll leave DS with them to do some shopping, go out for lunch, etc. That's about it, though.

I guess technically I 'could' leave DS with DH on the weekends here or there to go run errands or something, but honestly, I prefer we're all together for family time instead.

I guess a way I'd fit in a "break" in your case would be to get the errands done, then tag on a half hour-hour at the end to sit in Starbucks and read a magazine or something. Or maybe get out for a walk by yourself sometimes instead of doing the errands?

[Deleted]

Yes, when I get my hair done or on the weekends if I do girl time and go with my friend for mani/pedi and lunch. Also, sometimes I leave ds home with dh and go shop and grab coffee solo. I can also leave ds with dh and go to the gym. Also go out alone after ds is down.

[Deleted]

It works better for me if dh takes the kids out and *i* stay home. They can browse the toy aisle at target, park, library...anywhere...then I can do crafts, take a real nap, a nice hot shower...whatever I want. Maybe that would work for you guys?


(Now my kids are in preschool 3 mornings a week so I don't generally need much break beyond that. But if I want one, dh takes them out.)

[dizzycooks]

I feel like you're looking for something other than a trip to target or aldi after the kids go to bed? Umm not often. Generally someone has a kid with them at all times.
I went to the bike shop for dh today sans kids. I had a whole 10 minute phone conversation without an audience.

[quesyrah]

I mean sure, if I said I was taking a day to myself j would. But I rarely feel the need to and I'm not a huge fan of going out by myself.

Every 4 weeks I get an IV infusion and it's about a 45 minute-1 hour drive each way so I end up getting a lot of time alone. I usually stop for a coffee or do some shopping on my way home.

[quesyrah]

Feb 6, 2016 20:30:38 GMT -5 @sing4mysavior said:

It works better for me if dh takes the kids out and *i* stay home. They can browse the toy aisle at target, park, library...anywhere...then I can do crafts, take a real nap, a nice hot shower...whatever I want. Maybe that would work for you guys?


(Now my kids are in preschool 3 mornings a week so I don't generally need much break beyond that. But if I want one, dh takes them out.)

This 100%. I love being home alone.

DH and the kids can easily kill a few hours

[lexus]

Feb 6, 2016 20:30:38 GMT -5 @sing4mysavior said:

It works better for me if dh takes the kids out and *i* stay home. They can browse the toy aisle at target, park, library...anywhere...then I can do crafts, take a real nap, a nice hot shower...whatever I want. Maybe that would work for you guys?


(Now my kids are in preschool 3 mornings a week so I don't generally need much break beyond that. But if I want one, dh takes them out.)

This! Dh has been taking dd with him to the gym and I stay home and sleep or read. Now that the dr told me I can get back to working out I will join them but those few weeks were nice.

[Deleted]

I do get DH to take the kids out sometimes, but we've been snowed in so many times this winter that I'm sick of the house, too! I guess I'm just a complainer and going stir crazy. DS has also been really defiant lately, so I'm feeling extra tired of everything being a struggle with him. So much sassing!

[vettymama]

Not often besides for an appointment but even that is during the week and MIL has the kids so I rush back after grabbing groceries. Very rarely on the weekends I leave without at least one kid.

I need more alone time and need to get over feeling quilty.

[Deleted]

vettymama - me too! My kids were SO clingy for so long that I now feel terrible guilt about going anywhere, even though they're much more independent now. I think that's why I always go do errands, because if I just did something fun or lazy, I'd feel guilty! It sucks.

[vettymama]

Feb 6, 2016 23:12:09 GMT -5 @leftie22 said:

vettymama - me too! My kids were SO clingy for so long that I now feel terrible guilt about going anywhere, even though they're much more independent now. I think that's why I always go do errands, because if I just did something fun or lazy, I'd feel guilty! It sucks.

I feel exactly the same. Even leaving them with DH. I mean christ, he's a great dad and really wouldn't mind it. He'd actually probably appreciate my good mood if I could just get over the guilt of having someone else watch my kids.

[gastro]

I do get time away - maybe twice a month in the evenings, and an afternoon here and there for an hour or two. Baby is still nursing so I don't actually like to be away for too long because then I have to pump.
DH will take ds1 out for at least a few hours over the weekend but this is a new thing since ds2 was born.
I have help from my parents who will take both kids so I can have dinner with a friend or run errands.

[thecheshirekat]

All three kids are in preschool two full days a week, and it is GLORIOUS. I go shopping, take myself out to lunch sometimes, get some sewing done at home, sometimes take a nap, take a long shower without anyone throwing the door open and running through the bathroom, go meet a friend for coffee, etc.

[rosesandpetals]

When I SAH, it was easier to go out during naptime on the weekend while DH was home. Or get up a little early and leave. Alone time now pretty much means getting a babysitter. We've both been so busy with work...

[L From The D]

The time out is disproportionate. DH goes out with friends once a month all day, and I never get that. However, a friend and I go to dinner once a month and I usually take 2-3 hours on Saturday/Sunday to grocery shop by myself, bum around Target or the bookstore, and just get out.

Now that the kids are getting older, we're much better about date nights, too. It used to be 2-3 per year for special occasions, and now it's about every other month.

[abs]

I feel like I get a lot of time to myself.

DD is in school 4 mornings a week. I use that time to go to the grocery store, clean, work out, whatever. Sometimes I will be lazy and just lay around and read or play on my phone but not often. I HATE having chores to do on the weekend so I try to have them done during the week.

On the weekends DH will take DD to the park usually on Saturday or Sunday so I will have an hour or two alone. I also meet up with friends for lunch or dinner once or twice a month.

Now during the summer it's a different story. DH never questions my need for time along though and makes sure I get a break when I need it.

[dizzycooks]

I do not get the time I need, I know that. I hardly know what to do when I get it and it's often out with a friend so it's not time ALONE. I've had a grumpy morning, sorry.

[jag01]

I find that I need my alone time to recharge. I haven't had my alone time in a very long time and it is wearing on me. My alone time is on my car ride home from work on Wednesdays. DH has a hobby that gets him out of the house a couple times a week. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't jealous.

[minismama]

I was really struggling with this too because DH works most days 8-8. So we recently joined a gym that has an amazing kids center (full of classes for ages 3+, like dance/gynmastics/music/sports) and a huge toddler center for DS. I go pretty much every morning for a break. I usually work out or take a class. But I have also just gone and had a cup of coffee in the cafe or sat in the hot tub.
When DH is able to give me a break on the weekend (usually 1 time every 6 weeks because he usually works weekends), I literally take myself out to lunch and drink wine and eat a cheeseburger. Alone. And it is absolutely amazing. haha.

[chatterbox]

We enrolled DD in half day pre-school about a month ago. It's been so nice to have a couple hours to myself in the morning. I feel so much more relaxed. I schedule all of my OBGYN appointments then so I don't have to drag her along. I clean the house, grocery shop, get the oil changed, go to my mom's doctor appointments. Last week I got a pedicure and prenatal massage. It's just nice not to be responsible for her for a couple hours. I'm trying to enjoy it while I can because baby #2 will be here next month.

Also, DH takes her to a Gymboree type class on Saturday mornings for an hour so I can take a nice long shower and get ready.

[cabbagecabbage]

I never get big chunks of time but I get 2 hours for preschool and a night out (6-9 maybe) every month or so. Once a year DH and I have grandma do an overnight and get away. DH gets even less just because he's always working, so I can't complain.

[quesyrah]

Feb 7, 2016 17:05:55 GMT -5 cabbagecabbage said:

I never get big chunks of time but I get 2 hours for preschool and a night out (6-9 maybe) every month or so. Once a year DH and I have grandma do an overnight and get away. DH gets even less just because he's always working, so I can't complain.

I feel the same way about not complaining. DH has a long commute and crazy hours. He gets less alone time than I do. But like me, he's mostly content the way things are

[Deleted]

Feb 7, 2016 1:16:33 GMT -5 thecheshirekat said:

All three kids are in preschool two full days a week, and it is GLORIOUS. I go shopping, take myself out to lunch sometimes, get some sewing done at home, sometimes take a nap, take a long shower without anyone throwing the door open and running through the bathroom, go meet a friend for coffee, etc.

That sounds amazing!! My DS is in preschool, but DD is still home with me. And it's only 2 hours. And he usually comes home extra exhausted and crabby.

[junebugmom01]

Yes, I can't really tell you how often though since it varies. I also tend to do a lot of errands on DH's day off. I don't really consider it me time. Dh also has great parents that will take the kids almost anytime we ask (we don't very often & they live 2hrs away) and a lot of time he do will do his thing while I do my own... Lounge & watch TV, read, go shopping, eat and shower in peace!

With that being said, Dh has been working long hours and has only had one day off lately. There are times that it's been rough & I try my hardest to change my mindset when feeling overwhelmed.

Schedule some alone time & take it (not errands). You deserve it.

[hocus2]

I take one to two days off per year when the kids are in school to be on my own. Sometimes I go into the city and see friends (for lunch since they're at work) or I do home projects that are tricky with kids in toe. 

[Deleted]

Feb 8, 2016 14:47:15 GMT -5 junebugmom01 said:

Yes, I can't really tell you how often though since it varies. I also tend to do a lot of errands on DH's day off. I don't really consider it me time. Dh also has great parents that will take the kids almost anytime we ask (we don't very often & they live 2hrs away) and a lot of time he do will do his thing while I do my own... Lounge & watch TV, read, go shopping, eat and shower in peace!

With that being said, Dh has been working long hours and has only had one day off lately. There are times that it's been rough & I try my hardest to change my mindset when feeling overwhelmed.

Schedule some alone time & take it (not errands). You deserve it.

Thanks! I'm trying to change my mindset too, but sometimes you just need to get out for a bit to help change your perspective, you know? And I'm finding 4 to be the roughest age so far - far more terrible than the 2s! (Which my daughter is going through.) Every day is like a double dose of tantrums!