"Baby Friendly Hospitals"

[rosebud]

Ok, this is a total vent. I just got my BFP about 10 days ago, but yesterday this opinion piece was posted and came across my FB Feed. I'm Against Mandatory Rooming In

I just gave birth in Boston 2 years ago, but in the time I've changed jobs so now I need a new OB, as my old one was near my old job. I was hoping to give birth in NH, but based on the above link I called the major hospitals near me (this will be CS #3) and NONE of them have well-baby nurseries! I was even told by one of them that, "Maybe, if the nurse has time, they could take the baby at the nurses station. But that would depend on patient loads." Excuse me?!?! After my third CS, I'm expected to not even have the OPTION to get a couple hours sleep alone??? My husband will be home with my OTHER CHILDREN, besides, he snores.

I'm sssssoooooo mad right now. This whole Baby Friendly Hospital thing is not so much Baby Friendly as mom unfriendly IMHO. It's not about babies, breastfeeding, or bonding. It's about hospitals not having to staff nurseries and moving the cost of care from nurses and hospitals to patients and spouses. One of the hospitals I called actually said that it was my husbands job to care for the baby if I needed to nap. I can tell you from experience  that I'll have a much better BF relationship if I can actually recover from my CS.

Maternity Wards moving away from nurseries (I've used all 5 of my free reads from the Boston Globe or I would copy and paste the story).

[Yankees21]

I agree. I think it's a very frustrating trend.

[pugz]

It is bullshit, totally agree.

[hw77]

I read that article over the weekend in the Boston Globe, I agree its crazy.

I delivered at NWH last year and had a csection and it was there for 6 nights and had to beg beg beg them to take my daughter for 2 hrs on the 3rd night, it was insane!

[vtdiamond]

Yup this is all over my feed as well.

I sent my twins to the nursery every freaking night for the 4 nights I was in the hospital. How do they expect someone to recover from major abdominal surgery with 2 babies in the room?

[fortnightlily]

Agreed. And on the second night when they agreed to take DS to the nursery for a single 2 hour shift during the night the damned nurse still came in during that time to wake me to take my vitals and give me meds. Rage.

[booboo173]

I agree 100%. I just read this article last weekend and it was very relevant for me as I just had my second in a mass baby friendly hospital (not in Boston though). I actually requested to be discharged early because I would have gotten more help at home. Overall the hospital I went to is great and I loved most of my nurses but i gave birth on a tues night after being admitted min night and not sleeping all night ( yes they offered a sleeping pill but I was not comfortable taking ambien). I didn't even get into my room til 1am on wed and baby was up til 3 when the nurse finally took him behind the desk for a while. During the day it's hard to sleep with people in and out all night. By the 2nd night with him I was so tired and he was up all night. My h was at home with our older son, so no one to even pass off to. Every time the nurse came in she kind off laughed that he was still up, I really could have used a nursery at that point. The next morning I was ready to go because at least at home. I could hand him off for an hour

[rbp]

I totally agree. I did not deliver at a baby-friendly hospital, but I still remember the nurse acting like she was doing me a favor by taking M for three hours in the MOTN. I don't know if they didn't have a well-baby nursery or what. (Those three hours of sleep were glorious, though!)

[rbp]

Feb 10, 2016 9:27:35 GMT -5 fortnightlily said:

Agreed. And on the second night when they agreed to take DS to the nursery for a single 2 hour shift during the night the damned nurse still came in during that time to wake me to take my vitals and give me meds. Rage.

Our nurse was doing discharge paperwork at 2 am (on the second night). I know this is your daytime, but dammit I'm trying to sleep! We didn't even get discharged until 4 pm LOLOL.

[dangerousduo]

Lurker
i think this is total bullshit. What happens if you have any type of complications and your spouse is not there? Where will a healthy infant be taken? Who is responsible then?
And why is my insurance paying for "care" that I am providing?

[SallySparrow]

I agree that baby friendly is not always mom friendly. But I don't think it's about not staffing well baby nurseries. A lot of hospitals employ the same number of nurses, the "well baby" staff comes to the room to do things like assessments/procedures. At least that's how it is around here. I still hate it.

The hospital I delivered at didn't have a nursery either, but thank goodness my nurse took C for a few hours so I could sleep or I would have lost my mind. As a nurse, I can't imagine telling a mom, "hey, sorry, too busy, keep your kid in here." I would hope that doesn't happen.

[HitchedIn2006]

I agree as well. Momma needs a few hours to nap after a crazy labor. I could not sleep as it was between the baby snoring (OMG she was loud!) and nurses checking on me the first 8 hours. DH can't stay with the second birth because he has to be at home with dd... I am
Not asking for 48 hours of nursery time or anything crazy!!

[jeaniebueller]

Both hospitals I have birthed babies at had mandatory rooming in. They act like its for the convenience of BFing and mother/baby bonding, but its totally a cost saving measure. Its terrible for new parents, especially recovering from a C section and having to immediately care for a newborn. I wrote a really emotionally charged statement about it when the hospital sent me a survey about my stay.

[VillainV]

The hospital I delivered in had no nursery, and I had a c-section. It was really not a big deal to have him room in with me. Of course, that's my only birth experience, so I can't comment on the other side.

Obviously you should choose the hospital you want to deliver at, if you have options. For me, personally, I wouldn't let rooming in deter me from an otherwise excellent hospital if my other options weren't as good. It's really not that bad...

I agree that the "baby-friendly" rhetoric is over the top, but I also think these articles tend to be very inflammatory.

[sierramist03]

I agree!!!! Whole heartily. We had a sleepless night our second night in the hospital and the nurses wouldn't even help us out!!! We finally called my MIL so she could rock the baby so DH and I could take a nap. Basically we went home exhausted! Dd was in the nursery less than 2 hours and it was just so she get her newborn screen done. This was one of my biggest complaints on my patient survey.

[laurack]

I can't imagine not having a nursery to send baby to. Both times, that was the only sleep I got when they took the baby away for a couple of hours. It's kind of dangerous to be caring for a newborn baby when you've literally not slept in a day or two days.

baby friendly indeed. You can offer support for breastfeeding mothers without being an asshole about it

[felicity]

Yeah, I wish they would just call it what it is - a cost saving measure. Baby Friendly is a load of marketing crap. I used the nursery and would gladly use it again if we have a second.

How is it supposedly better to leave a baby in the room while the parents are sleeping? It seems safer to have trained nurses keeping an eye on them since that's kind of hard to do in your sleep.

[cgpm]

I agree. I didn't know my hospital did this until I got there. The night they came to take him to do shots and his hearing test I practically begged the nurse to keep him as long as possible. I think she felt bad for me so she kept him a little longer, while DH and I literally ran to bed.

The worst part was that DS would finally sleep around 6am and then all the nurses and doctors started their rounds. I was like, GTFO! I'm trying to sleep! It was easier to go home because then DH and I could take turns.

[smock]

We chose to room-in with DD1, but Mr. Smock was there the entire time and did pretty much all the baby care aside from nursing, so I could rest. I have no idea how a woman recovering for a c-section is supposed to care for a newborn if her spouse is taking care of older kids, or if she's a single mom. I was so sore after an uncomplicated vaginal birth with an epidural that just getting up to go to the bathroom was difficult; I sure as hell wasn't popping up every time the baby cried or pooped or needed something.

This, plus the ridiculous CDC recommendations, plus the criminalization of pregnant women's choices, in the name of being "BABY FRIENDLY" is making me pissed off. I'm ALSO a human with needs, damn it!

[spk926]

I agree! I actually just read this piece yesterday, which is based on the Boston Globe article.

www.scarymommy.com/baby-friendly-maternity-wards-abandoning-nurseries/

I think it's ridiculous how far the pendulum has swung. DD had formula or sugar water, or something (I don't even know!) right after birth because of her sugar levels and being only 36 weeks. The first night she spent in the nursery because I was on magnesium sulfate and wasn't allowed to be alone with her. The second night she spent in the NICU for her car seat test, which is mandatory for any baby born before 37 weeks. Despite all that we went on to have a normal, healthy and long nursing relationship that lasted for 2 years and 9 months. So I don't buy the sentiment many experts want you to believe.

 This is my favorite part from the piece, "Childbirth can be very overwhelming, especially when you are recovering from major surgery. The last thing a new mom needs is a hospital deciding what’s “best” for her and not allowing her the rest she needs to recover."

[felicity]

Also, I had an awesome nursery experience. My nurse actually encouraged me to use it AND she even put a note on my door to check with her before coming in so I could get some guaranteed sleep. I nursed DS before sending him, and they would bring him back to nurse. It had no positive or negative impact on our breastfeeding relationship. There is a happy medium if hospitals are willing to do it and take a mother's recovery into account too.

[Deleted]

Feb 10, 2016 9:34:24 GMT -5 VillainV said:

Obviously you should choose the hospital you want to deliver at, if you have options. For me, personally, I wouldn't let rooming in deter me from an otherwise excellent hospital if my other options weren't as good. It's really not that bad...

Agreed. I don't think either of the hospitals I delivered at are "baby friendly" but they are both working towards the certification and acted like they were doing me a huge favor taking my newborn for 90 minutes. That being said, being in the hospital with a newborn is tough no matter what your experience is.

 If I had to pick a hospital again I would make sure that all the nurses are trained in neonatal resuscitation.  I mean, luckily, the attending doctor I never met before was able to resuscitate my baby but if he hadn't been there I can't even imagine what could have happened. 

[CheeringCharm]

Completely agree. It's an easy way for hospitals to cut costs and increase the bottom line behind the disguise of something supposedly good: "baby friendly". Most women will tell you they need a few hours of good sleep after labor but good luck if you happen to get a baby who is not very sleepy. Not all of them are.

[ECB]

Feb 10, 2016 9:37:26 GMT -5 milsaroo said:

 they played it off well by saying that new moms would send the baby to the nursery at night and then freak out when they go home because it would be their first night having to care for the baby on their own. They made it seem like it would be transitional 

What a complete and total line of utter horse shit.  Those 2 nights I had in the hospital aren't nearly substantive enough to "transition" anyone. 

And sending an EXHAUSTED mother home who may have had a hard/long labor - that day or two in the hospital may be the only chance she has in a long while to "catch up" on a little bit of sleep.

God, I remember, a week in, our pedi called to ask how we were doing.  I was SOOOOO exhausted I burst into tears.  She said to put my DH on the phone and she told him "no matter what, you put her to bed tonight and make sure she gets at least 6 hours of sleep.  Make it happen".

Granted, a night or two in the hospital isn't going to be any amount of uninterrupted, glorious sleep - but... give the mom a small chance.  Take the baby away for a few hours so she has a CHANCE of a couple hours of sleep.  That's going to do a HELL of a lot more good that helping her "transition".

[jeaniebueller]

Feb 10, 2016 9:34:24 GMT -5 VillainV said:

The hospital I delivered in had no nursery, and I had a c-section. It was really not a big deal to have him room in with me. Of course, that's my only birth experience, so I can't comment on the other side.

Obviously you should choose the hospital you want to deliver at, if you have options. For me, personally, I wouldn't let rooming in deter me from an otherwise excellent hospital if my other options weren't as good. It's really not that bad...

I agree that the "baby-friendly" rhetoric is over the top, but I also think these articles tend to be very inflammatory.

I live in a rural area and there really is no "choice" as far as where women can deliver unless they want to drive 3-4 hours away. You can deliver at our local hospital, or your can drive 55 miles away or 35 miles away for the next closest hospitals that (surprise!) also don't have nurseries due to cost saving measures that eliminated them. That's cool that it wasn't that bad for you, but i was nearly about to have a nervous breakdown while in the hospital since not only did we have to care for our baby, but i was being woke every 2 hours for my vitals. So i had far less sleep there than i did at home.

[pooh8402]

I had to link it on my FB. Now my comments are mostly others agreeing with me, with two people disagreeing (one is a birth doula). I'm not engaging, but allowing the others to.

Fwiw, my hospital still has a well baby nursery--it's actually my home unit--and our patients love it. We get a lot of repeat c-section moms whose partners can't stay overnight because they're taking care of older children at home. It's just unsafe to make a c-section mom take care of her newborn when she can't even get out of bed.

[momin2013]

Huh. I haven't actually seen a nursery on a maternity ward around here in a long time. I know they have a special care nursery for newborns requiring special care/incubators/etc., but DS was with me from the minute he was born until we checked out.

I know they still had nurseries back when I was born, but that was...a long time ago. Not sure when they made the switch...

All that said, DH was able to stay with me the whole time. I agree, if he hadn't, it would have been pretty difficult for me to manage alone.

[midwest07]

The hospital where I delivered supports and encourages "rooming in" but still has a nursery and took the baby both nights.  Basically the nurses were like, you will be better off if we take the baby and they were right.  They just brought her back when it was time to eat. Before delivery, I was all about the baby needing to be in the room with me.  And after, I realized that I needed my rest and I was not going to get it with the baby right next to me and me wondering if she was breathing.

[teatimefor2]

I gave birth for DS2 in baby friendly hospital and they purposely gave him his bath, let him air dry and check vitals in the middle of the night to allow parents to sleep. They told me they would take him and would let me know when they took him. He was gone for about two hours and it was great!

I loved it, they also took him a little while the next night just to help us sleep a bit. They also had a nursery we could have sent him too, but I wanted him with us.

[maddysmum]

How things have swung in the other direction since we were all born.

My MIL's favourite story is of when she had her third, apparently popped this kid out and could've run marathons after, and since her two older kids were at the grandparents, her OB said "send the baby to the nursery and go out for supper because with three little kids, you won't get many chances to do that!" which is kind of crazy in all of the ways.

(Also, the bane of my existence because I had a violent vaginal birth and couldn't walk properly and without excruciating pain for two weeks - hell, I was in the hospital for three nights with a vaginal birth which is unheard of. And she truly thinks it's the norm to birth a human and then go out for ribs.)

Anyway, how things have changed. A good friend who worked on post partum here and now is a PICU nurse at a Children's Hospital in another city said exactly what many are saying above. She said that PP is the cushy job, now, where nurses go after long careers when they've got the seniority. It's known for being easy work now, without the nursery. Obviously anecdotal and applicable only to our mat ward, but interesting anyway and certainly seemed to hold true while I was there.

My husband only left to go home and shower during the days I was in the hospital with my first and honestly, I was terrified. I couldn't get up by myself, when I did get up, it was all I could do to stay upright and move forward. Holding a child...would've been unsafe. If that had been my second and he'd been home with our first, if my partner didn't have the luxury of time off of work, if I didn't have a partner, I don't know what I would've done.