Relocation while pregnant?

[bowies]

I cannot believe I'm even writing this.

My H was just approached with basically his dream job. Things are still early yet (he is still interviewing) but they want him to give a yes/no answer on relocating before they move too far along in the process. I have no idea where my head is at.

Pros:
Huge opportunity for my H
Chance for me to finally change industries/careers (or keep working in it since new location has quite a number of our competitors located there)
There is a significant chance of my company allowing me to work remotely until I'm ready to leave (before birth of child)
Closer to family
Lower COL
H could probably negotiate the same or increased salary
Relocation package would be offered (not sure what this entails yet, but probably just moving costs)

Cons:
I am a high-risk pregnancy.
We own a house that still needs some work.
Our DS attends a daycare we love and we've met some awesome families through it.
I would need to find my own job in the new location at some point.
Closer to family

HELP ME!  

[teatimefor2]

How far along are you? I would move. My very good friend here had a high risk pregnancy and moved cross country at seven months. Her OBs spoke on the phone and worked together to ensure she had zero lapse in medical care.

If it's what you and your DH want for the long-term, I would move.

[bowies]

Another con: New location is the seventh circle of hell.

[motzie]

Feb 10, 2016 15:03:14 GMT -5 bowies said:

Another con: New location is the seventh circle of hell.

Are we going to be neighbors!

[bowies]

Feb 10, 2016 15:05:05 GMT -5 motzie said:

Feb 10, 2016 15:03:14 GMT -5 bowies said:

Another con: New location is the seventh circle of hell.

Are we going to be neighbors!

We'll be father north, but close! You and @this are the ones to talk me out of this.

[miamigirl]

I love that you listed "close to family" as both a pro and a con, lol.

I would move, it sounds like a good opportunity.

[dcn]

I've moved twice while pg. while not ideal, it is doable. With your pros and cons list i would pursue it.

[smock]

At this stage I think he should say yes, and then you can decide if you actually want to move if he gets an offer.

I'm in a similar situation--I might possibly have a job offer that would require a 2k+ mile move with a 2 year old and a 3 month old. It would completely upend our lives. I'm still pursuing the job and will decide if I get an offer; if not, it's a moot point anyway.

[curbsideprophet]

I don't see weather mentioned on either list. How does that factor in?

[mandapanda18]

I had to change OB's at 35 weeks (not due to a move, but still change) I had zero issues finding some one to pick up my care (high risk due to cholestasis). I vote yes, mainly due to LCOL and having family closer.

[motzie]

It does sound like the pros outweigh the cons. Moving while pregnant is not fun, but it does give you an excuse to have the movers do 100% of the work.

[anna7602]

Your pros are pretty strong. I would do it. Child changing daycare/school isn't really a con for me. Kids adapt.

[bowies]

Feb 10, 2016 15:15:15 GMT -5 curbsideprophet said:

I don't see weather mentioned on either list. How does that factor in?

 Hot as balls. Basically a swamp.

[pinotgrig]

Come more north, lol!

I always say there's no harm in talking. As long as he's not committing to it at this point, why not?

[huskymom]

I moved at 6 months pregnant with DD2 for DH's job, but it had been our plan to move to this area for some time. Close to family, our current house was too small for 2 kids, much better schools than our current district. We had a small relocation package, we sold at a loss but moved from HCOL to MCOL so got a much bigger house. Packing was NBD..i did most of it by myself, but just did a few boxes a night for a few weeks. We found a daycare we love even more, I kept my job and work remote (now i can't imagine being in the office full time!)

We moved to the town we grew up in though, so we were already very familiar and had friends in the area. Changing OBs wasn't a big deal, but i timed it so my last appt with my old OB and my first appt with my new one were both in the beginning of the same year (instead of the last in Dec and the first in Jan), so both OB bills would hit my deductible in the same year.

[mpc]

so are you saying it'd be the same city as @this?

H's dream job is a pretty big pro. and you were talking about moving back sometime after the baby right? am I mixing you up with someone else? I think you should really consider it!

[House4Me]

I have done two INTERNATIONAL moves/relocations all while being pregnant. I have also done an International move with a 9 week old. It's so much easier to do the move before the baby comes. 

[bowies]

Feb 10, 2016 15:50:50 GMT -5 mpc said:

so are you saying it'd be the same city as @this?

H's dream job is a pretty big pro. and you were talking about moving back sometime after the baby right? am I mixing you up with someone else? I think you should really consider it!

We were talking about moving in a year but not back to our home state. I've always claimed that no amount of money would get me back there. That was apparently a lie.

We would be a couple of hours from this.

[kershnic]

I was all set to say move move move until you mentioned that it's not a place you actually want to live. That makes me pause pretty hard. Do you want to stay where you are now? Or is there somewhere else you'd ultimately like to be? If the last one is true, how would moving for this job fit into a bigger plan of ultimately getting somewhere else?

I think where you live (vs. where you want to live) is a pretty huge component of happiness. The other stuff you mentioned is all workable. You'll find a new daycare and OB, and moving during pregnancy is not that big of a deal.

[mpc]

Feb 10, 2016 17:14:18 GMT -5 bowies said:

Feb 10, 2016 15:50:50 GMT -5 mpc said:

so are you saying it'd be the same city as @this?

H's dream job is a pretty big pro. and you were talking about moving back sometime after the baby right? am I mixing you up with someone else? I think you should really consider it!

We were talking about moving in a year but not back to our home state. I've always claimed that no amount of money would get me back there. That was apparently a lie.

We would be a couple of hours from this.

Well now I'm more curious cause I'm a couple of hours from this.

[osulori]

Those are some pretty significant pros. Hell, those pros would even have me considering relocating and I'm significantly anti-swamp (my fine ass wavy hair does not like humidity).

[Jalapeñomel]

I moved at 6 months pregnant from Peru to NYC. Totally doable.

Edit: I just read that you wouldn't like the city, so pregnant or not, that would give me huge pause.

[magpie]

We will be relocating across the country when I'm 30 weeks pregnant (also higher risk). It's hard and we're not through to the other side yet, but I think the pregnancy has actually been one of the easier aspects of arranging the move. I have an appointment scheduled with a new obgyn the week I arrive and my doctor here knows I'm leaving, has given the plan her blessings and will help me transfer my records over, etc. She says that it's not too uncommon and shouldn't be a big deal. We did have to pay very close attention to H's start/end dates, since insurance is through his employers on both ends. We'll have cobra for the short gap between jobs, but we really don't want to have to activate that ($$$), so he has a pretty short gap. His boss also told him that it's fine for him to "transition" into his new position and understands that he'll be in/out a lot in those first few weeks as we get settled and he also has approval to take off 2 weeks when the baby arrives. This was really important to us as we have no family or friends in the area.

H's new company is paying for movers, so I am not going to lift anything. Some of the harder aspects are living with uncertainty and unknown for now. We're not sure where we'll live when we get to the new city (we plan to rent first and it's too early to look), so that's scary. We are also on the wait list for a new preschool for DD and won't know until about a month before we go if they have room for her to start right when we get there. We don't have any family or friends on the area, so all of that is a little scary.

[luv2rn4fun]

We are planning to move.  Our house has been for sale for 4 months now.  We are only moving 1.5-2 hrs away though.  DH will stay at current job (commute is further but same time/less traffic), I will keep my OB (and actually be closer to her office), and we will be closer to family.  

Sounds like a good move for you guys!  Good luck making your decision!

[Deleted]

bowies we are just wrapping up a move of this sort! H signed the paperwork for a new job and I found out I was pregnant the next day. I ended up being a trailing spouse and having to single parent through most of the first trimester. It actually went okay. We had lovers and I barely lifted a finger. We had a place lined up right away and were able to get DD into a new daycare right off the bat. She did a great job transitioning.

Our HHI went up 30% and our mortgage/ rent went down 30%. I feel like we won the fucking lottery.

I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

[mpc]

Feb 10, 2016 18:03:00 GMT -5 @idaholakelady said:

We had lovers and I barely lifted a finger.

LOL

[bowies]

Feb 10, 2016 21:44:09 GMT -5 mpc said:

Feb 10, 2016 18:03:00 GMT -5 @idaholakelady said:

We had lovers and I barely lifted a finger.

LOL

I giggled too! Tell me more @idaholakelady!

[Deleted]

Feb 10, 2016 21:48:43 GMT -5 bowies said:

Feb 10, 2016 21:44:09 GMT -5 mpc said:

LOL

I giggled too! Tell me more @idaholakelady!

mpc lol! Whoops! There were 5 of them ;-)

[carolinagirl831]

Your pros are all longterm positives and your cons are short term things that can be easily overcome! If go for it it could be a great opportunity!

[curbsideprophet]

I think I would go for it.