Birthday party invites question

[marie3246]

DD is turning 2 in less than a month. We have a close group of friends from where we used to live that is about 2 hours away from where we currently are. We are moving back there this summer. We only know a handful of people in our new town and it is likely they wont come. (one has a dd with the same birthday, another due date is right before the party). 

I was planning on inviting close family (all oot) and our few local friends as well as our friends from our previous town. DH's first reaction was that this was a bad idea and I can't get him to explain exactly why. At first he said he didn't realize her party was going to be this big huge thing, but I do not think the majority of people will come. He also said he doesn't want people to feel obligated to come. I feel like we just invite them and let them make the choice. Last year we didnt do anything and one friend mentioned that she was upset we didn't invite her to DD's party. If we were in our previous town all these people would be invited. I feel that if we just invite people that are in our town then it is likely only 2 people would show up if that so what is the point of doing anything? So WWYD?

ETA: We don't have any local family. My parents may come, but even that is a stretch. 

[simpsongal]

I'm guessing your DH is concerned about the mix of people. Are these people, including family, pretty outgoing? Do they have kids your LO's age? Consider if one friend from OOT shows, one local, and then family - would that be odd?

Since age 2 is still really about the adults, I went for family and our best friends (couple + toddler). If it were June and we were outside, I might have gone for a bigger BBQ vibe. If your OOT friends don't have kids, personally, I wouldn't invite them to travel to a family birthday party.

[thebreakfastclub]

I would just do a family party for the birthday and then have a bbq in the summer when you move back.

[marie3246]

Feb 13, 2016 19:50:54 GMT -5 simpsongal said:

I'm guessing your DH is concerned about the mix of people. Are these people, including family, pretty outgoing? Do they have kids your LO's age? Consider if one friend from OOT shows, one local, and then family - would that be odd?

Since age 2 is still really about the adults, I went for family and our best friends (couple + toddler). If it were June and we were outside, I might have gone for a bigger BBQ vibe. If your OOT friends don't have kids, personally, I wouldn't invite them to travel to a family birthday party.

We don't have any family near by. If any family comes it would be my parents, but that is still a long shot. Most of our friends don't have kids yet. I'm not sure if DH is worried about the mix, I just think he doesn't want people to feel obligated to drive 2 hours for her party. If we don't invite them we would invite 5 local people and I'm 99% sure only 2 people would come. That would be an odd party. 

[marie3246]

Feb 13, 2016 19:53:05 GMT -5 thebreakfastclub said:

I would just do a family party for the birthday and then have a bbq in the summer when you move back.

I would love to just do a family party, but we don't have any family nearby I had a local girlfriend and her daughter that is DD's age and my parents might come, but that would be it. Unless we invite our friends from our previous town they might not come, but they also might carpool and it could be fun, but I don't want them to feel like they have to either. 

[simpsongal]

Feb 13, 2016 19:59:29 GMT -5 marie3246 said:

Feb 13, 2016 19:50:54 GMT -5 simpsongal said:

I'm guessing your DH is concerned about the mix of people. Are these people, including family, pretty outgoing? Do they have kids your LO's age? Consider if one friend from OOT shows, one local, and then family - would that be odd?

Since age 2 is still really about the adults, I went for family and our best friends (couple + toddler). If it were June and we were outside, I might have gone for a bigger BBQ vibe. If your OOT friends don't have kids, personally, I wouldn't invite them to travel to a family birthday party.

We don't have any family near by. If any family comes it would be my parents, but that is still a long shot. Most of our friends don't have kids yet. I'm not sure if DH is worried about the mix, I just think he doesn't want people to feel obligated to drive 2 hours for her party. If we don't invite them we would invite 5 local people and I'm 99% sure only 2 people would come. That would be an odd party. 

That's a tough scenario.  I would probably invite family and local friends.  We really wrestled with this b/c we have some good friends from law school that we haven't seen in a while - they're like an hour away (maybe less) and most don't have kids.  We're hoping to have a BBQ this summer and we'll invite them to that.  If you can have 1 other toddler there, that would be fun - we only had 3 toddlers and they provided a lot of the evening's entertainment!

Good luck (enjoy low key parties, I can't imagine having a dozen 3 year olds in my house next year).

[thebreakfastclub]

Feb 13, 2016 20:02:09 GMT -5 marie3246 said:

Feb 13, 2016 19:53:05 GMT -5 thebreakfastclub said:

I would just do a family party for the birthday and then have a bbq in the summer when you move back.

I would love to just do a family party, but we don't have any family nearby I had a local girlfriend and her daughter that is DD's age and my parents might come, but that would be it. Unless we invite our friends from our previous town they might not come, but they also might carpool and it could be fun, but I don't want them to feel like they have to either. 

We don't have extended families around and my H's parents are deceased. We don't have parties, but if we did, it would be a handful of people.

I'd make it a Saturday and make sure they know it's more than a 2 HR thing so it's worth it.

[cricketwife]

I wouldn't do a party for 2, but I'm a party pooper. Can you get someone from where you used to live to host? Then you could invite that crowd and you would be the only ones traveling. And present ably, you'd have more people come.

[marie3246]

Feb 13, 2016 20:06:35 GMT -5 cricketwife said:

I wouldn't do a party for 2, but I'm a party pooper. Can you get someone from where you used to live to host? Then you could invite that crowd and you would be the only ones traveling. And present ably, you'd have more people come.

I'm not sure i want to go to this much trouble for that. Even if we did do that, there is no guarantee everyone there would come either. We are talking about 10 people total from our previous town. Plus if my parents come they will be staying with us and logistically it wouldn't be ideal to travel then. 

[cricketwife]

Feb 13, 2016 20:14:59 GMT -5 marie3246 said:

Feb 13, 2016 20:06:35 GMT -5 cricketwife said:

I wouldn't do a party for 2, but I'm a party pooper. Can you get someone from where you used to live to host? Then you could invite that crowd and you would be the only ones traveling. And present ably, you'd have more people come.

I'm not sure i want to go to this much trouble for that. Even if we did do that, there is no guarantee everyone there would come either. We are talking about 10 people total from our previous town. Plus if my parents come they will be staying with us and logistically it wouldn't be ideal to travel then. 

In that case, I stick with my first reaction, which is that this is a party i woukdnt have. 

[bananapancakes]

For L's first birthday we were living in a town where we knew pretty much nobody (it was during month 4 of an 8 month stay). No one was local to us and we still had a big party. We had about 40 people there and everyone travelled from 1-3 hours away. I say invite who you want and let them decide. I love parties!

[marie3246]

Feb 13, 2016 20:35:24 GMT -5 bananapancakes said:

For L's first birthday we were living in a town where we knew pretty much nobody (it was during month 4 of an 8 month stay). No one was local to us and we still had a big party. We had about 40 people there and everyone travelled from 1-3 hours away. I say invite who you want and let them decide. I love parties!

Well I was messing with the evite and editing the guest list and accidentally sent it, so I guess I'm inviting everyone haha. There is a chance a few that aren't local could carpool and it could be a nice size party. I guess I will just see how people rsvp and then we can decide what to do from there. 

[Deleted]

I'm kind of like your h. I don't think many people would drive 2 hours each way for a 2 year old party and if you think only 2 local people can make it, I would just forgo a party and do something fun with just the 3 of you. Most of our friends don't have kids and only one couple is coming to dd's party. The rest of it is family and family friends (I.e. My moms friends). I wish we could have done something low key until she has friends of her own.

[patbutcher]

We are just doing low key for dds 2nd birthday. A play date with her "friends" at a play place and that's because I won the party.

The other party is just family on
a Sunday afternoon.

[boiler717]

I think it's fine to invite them! I would reach out and say "I know you probably won't be able to come, but I wanted to make sure you knew we were thinking of you and would love to have you if it works out!"

[spunkarella]

I went to a two year old's party yesterday and it had a good mix of people, at least a couple of them from 2 hours away. A lot of us didn't know each other, but I think everyone knew the host and at least one other person. Everyone had fun and just enjoyed spending time together. But I'm one that loves any excuse for a party, and the more the merrier.

[auntie]

It's probably a little sad, but I wouldn't expect anyone but a rabid grandparent in robust health to travel 2 hours for a 2nd birthday. Do the people you're asking routinely come visit? If so, they'll likely come.

I might expect my family to travel for something my kid did- high school graduation, bar mitzvah, Holy Communion, lead in the school play, Eagle Court of Honor- but not a 2nd birthday.

We were in this situation and made birthdays more personal until DS was old enough to have friend parties. Sometimes we traveled as a family for his birthday.

If you really want to celebrate with them, could you travel to them seeing as you're fewer people traveling?