How did you meet your 2nd H, or your current SO?

[Lauren88]

Sort of Poll-
The PIP post with pics of some of you with new BF or new H's and the other posts about getting married soon or recently got me thinking.

So, I have a few questions..
1. How did you met them?
2. What made you fall for them?
3. How are they different then your ex bf or H?

I love seeing the ladies on here getting remarried and it gives me hope that after my divorce is final I'll be able to find a great guy. I loved being married and definitely want to get remarried one day but I don't know where to go to meet guys, other then online, and how to even start over with someone new.

[liubotflittyfud]

1. How did you met them? I met J at a mutual friend's party.
2. What made you fall for them? He's really sweet and kind. He's also very very zany and funny.
3. How are they different then your ex bf or H? xBF was severely abusive, physically and mentally, and xH was very distant and not interested in my life. J listens and is happy to help me when I ask. He doesn't even raise his voice and we very rarely argue, let alone he would never ever get physical. It's a nice breath of fresh air.

[chrissie3416]

1. I met J on POF. After months of bad dates and weirdos I was ready to be done and take a break. He sent me an email and his profile was good so I was like ok why not. We had our first date a week later and its been 5 months today since that first date.
2. One of the things I love most about J is his passion for life. He is super passionate about everything he does and I love that.
3. J is my EXH polar opposite. He has such an amazing work ethic, hes such a gentleman (after 5 months he still opens the car door for me), and with J I feel secure and in a way taken care of.

[gozf]

Not married, but I'll play!

1. How did you met them? He's a bartender at an establishment that I frequent

2. What made you fall for them? We were friends for years before we started dating, and I always found him hot. I can't pinpoint one specific thing that made me fall for him. There was a lot. He's creative and that fascinates me. He's a really smart and thoughtful person too. More than anything, I think it was because he's a great communicator who made me feel safe to express my needs. We just work, y'know?

3. How are they different then your ex bf or H? Comparing relationships isn't my favorite thing to do, and I do fundamentally really like my exH a lot. In some ways, they're total opposites, but there are a lot of traits that they share. They're both Tauruses, and that's evident. I would say that over all, Thor has more fire to him.

[jade28]

Yeah I am curious too and look forward to reading people's posts.

1. We met in a hiking group during a hike. We both noticed each other right away and there was instant chemistry. We talked most of the hike.
2. The first time we met we bonded over talk about zombies, etc. I really liked this because it showed he was silly, playful and shared my sense of humor. As I got to know him better, I "love" him for his kindness, awareness (of self and others) and how he approaches life and relationships. He knows what to say and do to make me feel special. He treats my friends just as well as he treats me. He also has that rare, gentlemanly charm. He's old school romantic. He's also a good communicator. And his eyes, sometimes they literally take my breath away. See guys...I am getting smitten!
3. Oh boy, different in so many ways. Everyone says he is a big step up from my ex because he is more stable, better looking and just really put together. He is more social and attentive. The relationship is different because I feel like we both have deep respect for each other and show "love" in the same ways. We are just very adoring of each other. I think though I have this relationship now because I am different now. I am more mature, more self aware and more confident in what I want/need. I'm also happy with myself and have my own life. I'm also more committed and realistic.

[lovelybb]

1. How did you met them? D and I met at a bar on a totally random Sunday night... he was in town for business and I was there with girlfriends after watching a movie.

2. What made you fall for them? He's extremely funny and very comfortable in his skin. He makes it very easy for me to be exactly who I am and encourages me to speak up when something is bothering me. He is very much my partner and best friend. He's also very emotionally available and he's a great father. We take care of one another but not in a codependent, needy way.

3. How are they different then your ex bf or H? He's much taller and more athletic... he's much more communicative and the relationship is definitely not a power play, he's not interested in control like my ex. He's also older which I think makes a difference, no young man ego to deal with...

[udscoobychick]

1. How did you met them? BF was taking Zumba classes at the dance studio where I worked. We eventually ended up taking some classes together, then he started hanging out with a group of the studio's students that hang out after classes together that I am part of, so I got to know him better that way.

2. What made you fall for them? He's funny! BF has a great sense of humor, although sometimes people who have just met him don't quite get it. He's thoughtful (always holds the door for ladies), generous (has been known to send anonymous gifts to people who need them), good at making people feel welcome and feel special (he hosted a couple of my friends for a party at his house when I didn't even know him that well, and the three of us stayed over, and he made us feel like old friends within the first 5 minutes!), smart, quick-witted, and just a lot of fun. He has a passion for life that I love. Even before we were dating (we were friends for about a year first), we always just "clicked." Everyone comments on it!

3. How are they different then your ex bf or H? BF is self-sufficient, and he tells me when something is bothering him. XFI had never lived on his own, and so he had a tendency to leave my apartment a mess when he came to visit, or he would be lying on the couch reading while I was cooking or straightening up. BF always helps out with those things. XFI would bottle things up, so we never had a single disagreement until the night we broke up. He would never tell me if something was wrong until it was too late to fix it. BF will tell me if I did something that hurt his feelings or made him mad, and he does it in a calm, nonconfrontational way (this is what happened, this is how I perceived it, this is how it made me feel). I really appreciate that, and I appreciate that I can tell him when he has upset me, too.

[starburst604]

1. How did you met them? Shockingly, Match.com. I had not had much dating luck there and was surprised to have it happen that way.

2. What made you fall for them? where do I start? I love his wit, the way that everyone he meets loves him and that he's so outgoing and fun. He has an amazing heart and really treasures the people he loves and will help out even a minor acquaintance with anything they ask if he can. Like anyone he's imperfect and has made mistakes, but I love how he was able to recognize where he needed to improve and has done an amazing job. of that. He makes me feel secure, loved, beautiful, sexy and I am able to completely be myself around him with zero self-consciousness. People always comment how in tune we are with each other. We often finish each other's sentences or say the same thing at the same time to each other.

3. How are they different then your ex bf or H? In every way possible, seriously. Physically he is what I really like, tall and strong. I love how laid back he is versus the temper tantrums my ex-FI would throw, living with him was walking on eggshells all the time. Unlike my ex who said working out "wasn't his thing" (but is now a Crossfitter, go figure), T likes to be active like I do. He's ambitious and successful career-wise. My happiness is important to him and it's not all about him, he can't do enough for me. Our communication is so much better and doesn't always have to turn into a major argument. Oh and the sex is amazing and we are so attracted to one another. I could go on and on...

[Lauren88]

Thanks for sharing ladies! So far it looks like I need to get involved in some activities so I can improve my chances of meeting guys. I work as a Special Events Coordinator so usually I only meet men who are about to get married. No luck there!

[prettyinpearls]

How we met
We’ve known each other for years – we went to the same school and were in the same 4-H Horse Club. I always thought he was cute, but more in a little brother kind of way since he was 2 years behind me in school. Let’s face it, when you’re a senior it’s NOT cool to date a sophomore Besides, I always had a BF and he always had a GF.

We didn’t really stay in touch after school because we really weren’t that close to begin with. We were FB friends, so I knew he had gotten married, just as he knew I had gotten married and had a baby. What’s kind of funny about this is that his XW actually contacted me when they were wedding planning because she knew I got married at venue that would’ve been perfect for them (well, him…) and wanted to ask me questions about it. The ended up having a cookie-cutter fairly tale wedding (very HER).

Anyway, fast forward to early 2011. FF went into the credit union where my mom works to get a loan for his camper. They chatted a bit (since my mom knew him from school/my 4-H days) and when my mom told FF I was getting a divorce his eyes lit up (her words, not mine). Long story short, we met for drinks to catch up and talk about our divorces (since we didn’t really know anyone else our age who had already been divorced) and the rest is history. Our story is one reason why I’m a firm believer in ‘everything happens for a reason’ and why I’m walking down the aisle to an instrumental version of “Bless the Broken Road”.

Why I fell for him
Everything with just feels natural and easy. After the first few months of being together, I knew it was the real deal. It felt like we had been together for years. Not to mention how beautiful and loved he makes me feel, and how he is with/towards my DS.

How is he different than XH
He doesn't have an alcohol problem. He has a career, not just a job. He has goals and ambitions in life. He has hobbies outside of hitting up the bar or partying on the weekends (which is XH's 'hobby')He owns his own house. He's financially responsible. He accepts responsibility for his actions. He apologizes when it's warranted. He encourages me to succeed in my career, instead of being threatened that I'm doing well for myself (XH had serious issues with me being the breadwinner in our relationship). He has TRUE friendships...not just those with people who make him feel better about himself (XH was 'friends' with so many losers or people who tolerated him putting them down). The list really does go on and on....

[bowies]

I found him on Match. I approached him. Rawwwwrrrrrrr.

I fell for his kindness, his intelligence, and his maturity. He's very secure with who he is and has no qualms in communicating his feelings. I appreciate his sense of humor and how innate his sense of selflessness is. It's just...easy. He's the very definition of a partner in my life. I wish I could explain it better. He also is easy on the eyes. Just sayin.

How he's different...in every way possible. I was worried that I was swinging the pendulum too far the other way, but I realized he's very much like other guys I've dated. It's XH who was the anomaly. Turns out I like my men dorky, romantic, and shy. I'm just mature enough now to recognize and embrace it.

[marigoldgirl]

I met by BF on Craigslist. I did some research and Craigslist was suggested. I was also doing match, ok cupid, POF.. I placed an add and remarkably I meet a few really nice, normal men. I actually had better luck with this than I did on POF. I did have a few crazies but not as many as I expected. They were easy to ignore. Anyway we meet in a park for coffee, and it was normal from there.

I fell for his quiet nature, calming attitude, and caring personality. He is the most non judgmental person I have ever known. He is also very honest. Tall and a nice smile. He cooks too.

He is the complete opposite of XH in all ways. The only thing they have in common is the same first name and they are both tall.

[Deleted]

1. online- in a music chatroom
2. he was so intelligent-i loved how smart he was
3. he is much more laid back than XH, we have much more in common, he works normal hours.

[formerlyak]

1. EHarmony. I think I'm the only person on here who thinks eharmony is better than match

2. He was smart, hard working, had a good job, came from a family similar to mine, and we have a lot of interests in common (including both having studied theatre in college and now working in different fields)

3. With fi, what you see is what you get. There are no games. No big show. No lies. As I learned throughout my marriage to my ex, with him it was all games and a big production.

[mandimija]

1. I met him Mijo on OKCupid. Our first date was coffee at a book store. Which turned into a 6 hour date...every night for the next week.

2. He was funny, polite, and very intelligent. He was also very hard-working, and we had a lot of similar interests. He was also the first person in a very long time that I really felt I could be myself around. He is my best friend and partner in every way imaginable. It doesn't hurt that he plays acoustic guitar and cooks extremely well.

3. Ex was abusive, but that stemmed from intense insecurity and a need to be in control. Mijo is comfortable in his own skin, and doesn't feel the need to control anyone else or compensate for his own insecurities in any way. He's also the least jealous person I know, which perhaps has something (okay, a lot) to do with the fact that he knows who he is and is secure in that, and is therefore able to accept and trust others. We also have much more in common. Ex wanted me to fit some kind of neo-Cleaver mold. Mijo just wants me to be myself, and I feel like the best version of me because of him.

Something over the week struck me: During Isaac, I was stuck in the same small apartment with Mijo for about 72 straight hours, with no option of leaving. There were plenty of times we both wanted to get out of that place, but not because of each other. We got along wonderfully. We just don't like being stuck inside for any extended length of time.
I'd been stuck inside with ex for a long stretch during a snowstorm...it was hell.

[jojoandleo]

My H and I met when I was working at Enterprise and he was working as a service adviser at a dealership. I was the local corporate accounts manager and his work was one of my accounts. He was cute and I used to flirt a little when I went in. Then I was having a bad day (it was 5:50 and we closed at 6 and I was picking up a customer, so I wasn't even going to get out of there until 6:30-7ish). I was venting about how annoyed I was and H said, "You know what is good for that, Presidente Margaritas, some guys and I are going out for some after work, you should stop by." So I did. There were no guys, just him.

He was so sweet and cute and a bit shy and nerdy ( I LOOOOOVE nerdy guys). On our second date, he tried to kiss me and ended up pecking me with the bill of his hat. it was so cute. He was just there for me and didn't judge me.

XFI was so judgmental. He was always trying to tear me down and tell me what I did wrong (I was an alcoholic-just like my father. I had mental issues and needed therapy. Everything was in my head, he was this nice guy and I was blowing it). H builds me up (He understands my issues with my father, but also understands I am not my father. he supports me when I am having heavy anxiety and have to go back to therapy rather than blaming and chastising me for it. He apologizes when he makes mistakes and doesn't put all the blame on me.) H is also not a cheater on adult friend finder trolling for women...OR men.