A wedding wwyd

[rosesandpetals]

Just curious, I already know what we're doing. But my close friend is getting married in the state we grew up in. We've been friends since we were 11 and have always been close. She flew out here for my wedding with her then-bf (now fiance).

She just told me the wedding is going to be no kids. So wwyd:

1) politely say you can't make it
2) ask a friend to keep dd while you and dh fly out.
3) buy a $300 plane ticket for dd, take her, and get someone to watch her that night (probably my sister, who still lives in the area)
4) go by yourself

It is during the school year so no chance of making an extended trip out of it. It will be fly out Friday morning and fly back Saturday afternoon (wedding is on a Friday).

[nowa]

I'd do 3

ETA: oops, just saw how short the trip would be... in that case I might do 2 instead.

[lala]

For that quick of a trip and her age, I'd do 2 or 4.

[dizzycooks]

For a trip that quick if do 2. Would your dd be in school on Friday? If so its basically a slumber party and play date away from you and you and dh get a date night.

[Deleted]

If I really trusted someone at home, I'd do #2. If my best child care option was with #3, I'd do that.

[rosesandpetals]

Feb 27, 2016 20:30:42 GMT -5 dizzycooks said:

For a trip that quick if do 2. Would your dd be in school on Friday? If so its basically a slumber party and play date away from you and you and dh get a date night.

She'll be in preschool. The friends I'd leave her with don't have kids but she loves them and would have a blast. They're her godparents.

[Deleted]

Feb 27, 2016 20:46:33 GMT -5 rosesandpetals said:

Feb 27, 2016 20:30:42 GMT -5 dizzycooks said:

For a trip that quick if do 2. Would your dd be in school on Friday? If so its basically a slumber party and play date away from you and you and dh get a date night.

She'll be in preschool. The friends I'd leave her with don't have kids but she loves them and would have a blast. They're her godparents.

Id probably do that then. It's one night with capable adults who love her. Sounds like a nice overnight for her and for you guys too!

[lala]

I'd only do 4 if it was too much money/inconvenience for both of us to go for such a short trip, you know? Not b/c I was worried about her overnight w/ trusted people. Also would depend on how well your DH knows her/cares. My preference would be he went, of course.

[dizzycooks]

Idk, #4 doesn't really sound half bad...

[quesyrah]

My first instinct is 4.

But, if DH really wants to go and/or it's rare for you to get a night alone and it's not a strain financially I would do 2.

[amynumbers]

3 -- it's and accuse for her to spend time with family. I'd also probably make it a longer trip because really what is "school" at that age.

[lala]

I assumed the school year comment was about Roses not being able to miss? If it was for DD, then I agree, all go and make a trip of it.

[rosesandpetals]

Feb 27, 2016 22:38:23 GMT -5 amynumbers said:

3 -- it's and accuse for her to spend time with family. I'd also probably make it a longer trip because really what is "school" at that age.

I'm a teacher. I can't take a vacation in the school year.

[rosesandpetals]

Feb 27, 2016 23:01:27 GMT -5 @mama2b said:

No vacation days at all? Teachers here get around 14 days, though they are used for illness too.

I get 2 personal days and sick time but (as came up in the other thread) subs are an issue. DD and I are flying out for 10 days over the summer and we'll stay with family then.

DH gets along with my friend and her fiance, he would like to go. It seems like a lot of money and hassle to bring Dd when she can't come to the wedding anyway. But if we could make it a vacation, we would. It just isn't feasible.

[gastro]

I would do 3.

[Deleted]

I'd probably do 4, or 2 if my H really wanted to go. The no-kids wedding makes me kind of sad, though.

[dizzycooks]

Feb 27, 2016 23:01:27 GMT -5 @mama2b said:

No vacation days at all? Teachers here get around 14 days, though they are used for illness too.

That's a lot of pto! Not the norm as far as I've seen and definitely a problem given the sub issues we've been discussing.

[rosesandpetals]

Feb 27, 2016 23:20:57 GMT -5 dizzycooks said:

Feb 27, 2016 23:01:27 GMT -5 @mama2b said:

No vacation days at all? Teachers here get around 14 days, though they are used for illness too.

That's a lot of pto! Not the norm as far as I've seen and definitely a problem given the sub issues we've been discussing.

You can't even get a sub that long here. If it is more than 5 consecutive days, there needs to be a licensed teacher in the room.

[lovebeingmama]

Feb 27, 2016 23:20:57 GMT -5 dizzycooks said:

Feb 27, 2016 23:01:27 GMT -5 @mama2b said:

No vacation days at all? Teachers here get around 14 days, though they are used for illness too.

That's a lot of pto! Not the norm as far as I've seen and definitely a problem given the sub issues we've been discussing.

I used to get 15 sick days and 2 personal days (they all rolled over from year to year up to 5 personal days). But you could not use the 15 sick days for a trip without getting into trouble. And I think anything over 2 consecutive days needed special district permission. So in my area, that much pto is the norm, but the days are not used freely like in other professions (at least in my experience).

All that said, I would do option 2 or 3. Since you prefaced by saying she just told you it was kid-free, i assume the original plan was to bring her when you thought kids could probably attend. I absolutely would not skip the wedding, and unless money was very tight or the childcare options don't work out, I would want my H to come with me.

[jag01]

I'd do 2, then 4, 3 as a last resort.

[momin2013]

If you know she'd be ok overnight with your friends, then #2. If you're not sure, then #4.

[Deleted]

I would do #2 if your dd would be cool and you have a trusted sitter. Less stressful and you can really enjoy yourselves!

[nicolewi]

Two or four.

[expectantsteelerfan]

I'd do 2 or 4 depending on how much of an issue money was, with my own money situation I'd happily do 4 =)

[lattelady5]

I'd do 2. My DD would be just fine spending a few nights with trusted friends. She spent some time with my kidless relatives awhile back and loved being spoiled. (DS would be a different story )

I'd also want to go with H. Going to weddings dateless sucks and I'm too cheap to shell out $300 for something my kid can't go to and wouldn't care about anyway.

So what are you doing?!?

[megster20185]

2

we are leaving our kids with Inlaws for 3 days in 2 weeks while we go to my cousins wedding in key west.

[lexus]

2 or 4 for sure. I would not spend the money on a plane ticket if the kids can't go.

[erbear]

I don't know how old your kid is but I'd do 2. I have no issues with kid-free weddings and I'd welcome the chance for a mini-vacation.