It doesn't surprise me at all. There was the same omerta with XH's best friend. Which I thought was disgusting. Everyone was acting around the girl as if nothing happened. I refused to be part of this masquerade and side-eyed XH big time for being part of it. Sure, XH thoughtI was being a bitch but I didn't care. What comes around goes around. The bride will know one day. I'd still tell her because I would want people to do the same thing with me. Since there were so many witnesses, it could be anyone telling her.
I talked to her again, she said she's going to talk to her DH tonight to see if he will say something to his friend, or the FI or something. She said she felt really badly for saying anything to me, given my history with XH and cheating.
I told her not to feel badly at all, but just really think about how she would feel if she were in the girl's shoes and she was the only one who was in the dark about it all. She knows all about my situation and knows that similar things went on, and I was the last one to find out.
She said she doesn't even want to go to the wedding now.
I wouldn't talk to her H. Of course he will tell her to keep her mouth shut. You really think he will tell something to the FI?! Yeah, they're going to call him a party pooper/fun sucker and given what you told us about him, he doesn't seem to be the kind.
If I were her I wouldn't mention this anymore to him. It's pointless.
Wow, that's an awfully fucked up situation. I really hope the bride finds out. Someone should send her an anonymous letter. Reminds me of a story I heard a few years back though a coworker. (race is mentioned here with purpose, so please don't be offended) My coworker attended a wedding- big Italian style both bride and groom were white-Italian. Came home from honeymoon and the bride was pregnant. First grandchild on both sides, so they were ecstatic. The baby was born and was black. Turns out the bride had sex with a black male stripper ( or something..) at her bachelorette party. Now imagine if she had sex with someone of similar looks of her husband?? He wouldn't have known....how terrible! Needless to say, that ended in divorce. It's sad that men and women do this. What's the point of marrying someone if you still need to screw around?? I'll never understand.
I side him because even though he says he says didn't DO anything he more than likly DID, his friends still did and to me you can tell alot about a person by who they hang around. Ex: if their friends do drugs they probably do too.
I would NOT be comfortable, ok with etc my (future) husband being around hookers in fact I would beyond PO"d (trust is BIG thing for me and I would more than likey want to re-evaluate the relationship). I believe the temptation is (would be) just to much especially for a MAN. I believe a woman could better control herself and would probably realize that this is not the best situation to be right before they get married and would back out (I know I would got of respect to myself and my husband plus I doubt my husband would be fine with it).
Plus, having sex with a hooker right before the wedding at a bachelor party to me is a HUGE red flag that your relationship is not all that great because I think if the relationship was meeeting all the person's needs they it wouldn't even enter their mind to go through with this type of bachelor party in the first place.
wow! just wow. as a bride I would sure want to know what happened because we'd be having a serious come to Jesus talk and I'd be so far beyond pissed that he didn't walk out and come home as soon as he saw that, i'm not sure we'd get over that, to me and to DH, that's a serious respect issue...i also don't think i'd ever be ok with him hanging out with such immature loser friends. if DH didn't tell me about what had happened, I'd see that as a major violation of our honesty policy and it would kill my trust in him if I had to find out from someone else.
at least DH's friends, even though they like strip clubs, know he doesn't, so they didn't try to take him to one and they'd never do something so tacky and disgusting as to hire hookers.
If he had left and immediately gone and told his wife and was willing to tell the bride, I'd give him a pass, but he STAYED! He obviously knows his friends and knew this was a possibility, hell he probably knew it was the plan! Shady as fuck.
I had an acquaintance that I dropped like a bad habit when I found out she cheated on her fiance (WHILE HE WAS IN IRAQ) because I do not want to be associated with people like that. Oh, and she said it was his fault because he had been rude to her, so he deserved it. :-|
The bride deserves to know. I hope someone tells her.
All these people are so immature. He's really going to KILL her for telling the bride? He hung around while all the other guys were getting these favors? Why does your friend want to be married to someone who would knowingly hurt his friend's wife/girlfriend? And then do everything to protect himself. Better yet, I have to wonder what is wrong w/ this girl that she is willing to put up with this.
That's horrible. I've been in the bride's shoes and how horrible it feels to find out the truth. I hope she finds out before she gets married.... As for your friend's husband... yea, he should have left.