I just find it really sad that so many people are ok with others being verbally attacked with such lewd language on this board. And I have not been a victim of it myself - that I know of.
Is it because she is such an old member that people defending her? If she was a newbie would she be kicked off faster?
Honestly it's fear. Having been on the receiving end, it's quite intimidating.
I just find it really sad that so many people are ok with others being verbally attacked with such lewd language on this board. And I have not been a victim of it myself - that I know of.
Is it because she is such an old member that people defending her? If she was a newbie would she be kicked off faster?
Honestly it's fear. Having been on the receiving end, it's quite intimidating.
This, and I am sad as to what this says about this board as a whole.
Are any of the mods still reading this thread? Can anyone clarify? Personally while I have been shocked lately with a couple of posters and the things being said, I'm not to the point of throwing the hatchet down. But, I haven't been on the receiving end of any inappropriate language. Just a spectator.
I think at this point it's up for the board to regulate what is acceptable and not about language.
I will, personally, say that I'm a little gun-shy about deleting anything that isn't a clear violation. Hell, some people started going after me about deleting the post last night. Can you imagine the fallout from deleting emmy's comments in the vein of that thread? I can take a lot, but the constant 10 page posts questioning the actions of a mod just because they're doing their job get a bit wearing. (YES I'M PUTTING ON MY MARTYR ROBE!)
As for the person who was banned, who keeps continually being brought up and as continually keeps being explained, was exhibiting clear trollish behavior not just on this board but on others. "Her" post that was deleted was just the straw that broke the camel's back.
So, back to the original point, if you guys give me some clear guidance that all can agree upon on the subject of the language I will be happy to oblige. Otherwise I will leave the ultimate decision up to Y4M and Ellie on the line for all of GBCN.
Honestly it's fear. Having been on the receiving end, it's quite intimidating.
This, and I am sad as to what this says about this board as a whole.
Agreed. It's getting out of hand. But if you call someone out on it, then you get attacked. Name calling has absolutely 100% got to stop. We are all grown adults and we all need to act like it. Calling someone a bitch, thundercunt, whore, idiot... It's way too common now.
This is what I was saying in Druids post about wanting to get into it. While TN was annoying with its word restrictions, I am starting to think it was for the best. The tone of this board has suffered because people can be much ruder and more offensive IMO. It used to be that you had to word your replies carefully, especially if you wanted to insult someone. Now its just "fuck you bitch" and I dont think it is good.
This is what I was saying in Druids post about wanting to get into it. While TN was annoying with its word restrictions, I am starting to think it was for the best. The tone of this board has suffered because people can be much ruder and more offensive IMO. It used to be that you had to word your replies carefully, especially if you wanted to insult someone. Now its just "fuck you bitch" and I dont think it is good.
Post by copzgirl1171 on Sept 1, 2012 11:46:56 GMT -5
Agreed reeve. I try hard not to be a total prude and I am a fuck offender but the personal attacks are too much for my taste and like hey said it's intimidating and really borders on something uglier.
Post by basilosaurus on Sept 1, 2012 11:54:37 GMT -5
Fmlb that doesn't contradict what I'm saying. We all (well, most of us) use foul language. That's not ban worthy by itself. The nasty language and personal attacks are. Which is emmy who is nothing more than a troll these days. I don't think we're in disagreement.
Fmlb that doesn't contradict what I'm saying. We all (well, most of us) use foul language. That's not ban worthy by itself. The nasty language and personal attacks are. Which is emmy who is nothing more than a troll these days. I don't think we're in disagreement.
Ahhh.. got it...that wasn't totally clear to me before--but it is now. Thanks!
Maybe the bigger issue here is that when the personal attacks start, very few people will stand up for the person being attacked, or at least, ask the attacker to back off because their language is unacceptable. Nobody wants to do that because they're afraid they will be the next one attacked. When I've said something before, I've gotten rolling eyes and "Here comes goody two shoes again." Geesch.
If everyone on here who says that the personal attacks need to stop will actually step up when it happens, it probably will stop.
Maybe the bigger issue here is that when the personal attacks start, very few people will stand up for the person being attacked, or at least, ask the attacker to back off because their language is unacceptable. Nobody wants to do that because they're afraid they will be the next one attacked. When I've said something before, I've gotten rolling eyes and "Here comes goody two shoes again." Geesch.
If everyone on here who says that the personal attacks need to stop will actually step up when it happens, it probably will stop.
When I've said soemthi
I don't know - I am not afraid to fight back with someone being rude - but I always think, what's the point? Its like arguing with a troll at that point. Its not that I don't want to defend someone, but if the attacker is being unreasonable, how can you defend against that? Nothing you say will make a damn bit of difference. Its like arguing with a 3 year old that swears.
I don't find emmy intimidating at all, fwiw. I just choose not to engage her because it's not worth it. TBH, if she said any of her insults to me I'd probably laugh because they are so stupid, vile and almost always the result of some innocuous comment (meaning that it's clear to me SHE is the one who with a problem, not the victim of her attack).
I kind of assumed most people felt the same way - that it was better to ignore it. At the same time, I couldn't care less about her being banned. It's not like she adds much beyond insults right now. It used to be concerning, and I think people kind of gave her a pass. But then if you expressed concern, you were insulted. So I doubt many people are concerned any more or care, and have just started ignoring her complete ridiculousness. I can't imagine anyone would be like, "oh shut up good two shoes" if someone objected to her comments, though. I ignore her because it's ridiculous, but it doesn't mean I agree with her or think it's okay.
Post by copzgirl1171 on Sept 1, 2012 13:19:59 GMT -5
I wish I could get there eclaires but I am so damn thinned skin that I am too intimidated to speak out when I see someone getting tongue lashed. I am a peacemaker by nature but I admit to not wanting to jump into the fray out of fear of getting jumped on.
Maybe my big girl panties need adjusted but I don't come here to get my teeth bashed about. KWIM
Oh, ITA! I'm very thick skinned - comes with having four brothers - but I also don't come here for insults and don't come here to insult. I definitely prefer a higher level of debate and a more positive general tone.
And in general, I wouldn't say I would ignore it all the time - I would definitely say something in most cases. I just think in emmy's particular case, I am ignoring. Does that make sense?
I've engaged her a few times but it is like dealing with dylanite but worse. It goes no where so I resort to ignoring or acting as superior snark.
Eta: neither can see they are snoddy and go for the superior route (which I find very funny). The zings are lazy and I think ignoring just makes for a better pce life. And, I agree with reeve on the ability to curse definitely has affected the tone (maybe after this thread more will see it rather than throw down the "oh yall a such martyrs"...here's hoping)
Post by lyssbobiss, Command, B613 on Sept 1, 2012 15:10:13 GMT -5
I'm always hesitant to tell someone to stfu because I tend to wonder if I'm misreading a situation, or not understanding what all is going on, or I don't know somoene's backstory well enough, or I'm about to have the flameworthy things I've said thrown back in my face. So in short, I am a huge pussy.
"This prick is asking for someone here to bring him to task Somebody give me some dirt on this vacuous mass so we can at last unmask him I'll pull the trigger on it, someone load the gun and cock it While we were all watching, he got Washington in his pocket."
Maybe I/we can do a poll during the week when all the regulars are around more and come up with some phraseology that we can vote on so it's clear to pixy so we can address issues but not have a 10-pager every time. I get that we need to vent and call people twatwaffles and the like, but there is a difference between that and what emmy is doing. I'll have to think about how to best phrase it.
I'm always hesitant to tell someone to stfu because I tend to wonder if I'm misreading a situation, or not understanding what all is going on, or I don't know somoene's backstory well enough, or I'm about to have the flameworthy things I've said thrown back in my face. So in short, I am a huge pussy.
You wondered if you misread the situation when emmy called someone a Massingil Dripping something something (I don't remember what--I think I blacked out)
Or a cuntwich?
What did your gut tell you? I'm being serious here--I'll help you.
Emmy's repeated defense of her use of offensive names has been "hey, it's just the internet, so STFU about online civility." Frankly I completely forgot about the TOS so I didn't even think if that would apply to some of her posts.
Like I said: for my part, she can call me what she wants. It simply draws attention back to her own personal issues, since I refuse to own the names she tries to assign to me.
I think she needs help. I don't know that banning her would make any diff to her or message to her that it might be time to get help. But I think if it's gotten to a point of bullying - where, as has been admitted here, people are afraid to step in and request civility or call her out because they don't want to be the next target - something needs to be done. It's hardly conducive to the purpose of this board, which is inviting dialogue. Can we all agree on that?
I'm always hesitant to tell someone to stfu because I tend to wonder if I'm misreading a situation, or not understanding what all is going on, or I don't know somoene's backstory well enough, or I'm about to have the flameworthy things I've said thrown back in my face. So in short, I am a huge pussy.
You wondered if you misread the situation when emmy called someone a Massingil Dripping something something (I don't remember what--I think I blacked out)
Or a cuntwich?
What did your gut tell you? I'm being serious here--I'll help you.
Okay. More like, there are so many weird personal beefs here that I cannot keep them straight. I can't tell you today who sparred yesterday. Can't do it. So I don't know if there's some backstory I've forgotten. And sometimes just because I may think a comment is over the line, it doesn't mean that the recipient or the rest of the board thinks it's too far. And honestly, the first several times she (Emmy) dropped an insult bomb I thought she was joking. I mean, the "snoddy little twat" insult from another poster a while back is now a running joke. And...sometimes it's just fear. I know I have posted plenty of things that could be pitched back in my face. I don't need that happening. So I just watch.
"This prick is asking for someone here to bring him to task Somebody give me some dirt on this vacuous mass so we can at last unmask him I'll pull the trigger on it, someone load the gun and cock it While we were all watching, he got Washington in his pocket."
Emmy's repeated defense of her use of offensive names has been "hey, it's just the internet, so STFU about online civility." Frankly I completely forgot about the TOS so I didn't even think if that would apply to some of her posts.
Like I said: for my part, she can call me what she wants. It simply draws attention back to her own personal issues, since I refuse to own the names she tries to assign to me.
I think she needs help. I don't know that banning her would make any diff to her or message to her that it might be time to get help. But I think if it's gotten to a point of bullying - where, as has been admitted here, people are afraid to step in and request civility or call her out because they don't want to be the next target - something needs to be done. It's hardly conducive to the purpose of this board, which is inviting dialogue. Can we all agree on that?
I'd argue that we are beyond asking everyone to just agree - certainly emmy isn't going to come out and agree - and things have gone unchecked for so long that to a lot of people it really is just second nature now. I can think of probably 10 people from both/all angles of our debates that have dropped personal attacks, including myself. Not that I'm calling people horrid things, but "idiot"? sure.
I think we need a referee - that's all. And that's what a moderator's role is in any sort of heated discussion like ours. WTF is the point of having a moderator at all if not to make sure that conversations at the very least stay cyber-bully-free?
Post by lyssbobiss, Command, B613 on Sept 1, 2012 17:06:30 GMT -5
Okay, in re-reading some of the older threads (social lives are way overrated anyway), I can see that I have missed some of the most heinous outbursts. Honestly, I have a feeling it's not going to matter because either someone will tell Emmy what's being said here or she'll discover it on her own and then we'll all get a giant middle finger. It's been made clear that she doesn't care that people are getting offended.
"This prick is asking for someone here to bring him to task Somebody give me some dirt on this vacuous mass so we can at last unmask him I'll pull the trigger on it, someone load the gun and cock it While we were all watching, he got Washington in his pocket."
You wondered if you misread the situation when emmy called someone a Massingil Dripping something something (I don't remember what--I think I blacked out)
Or a cuntwich?
What did your gut tell you? I'm being serious here--I'll help you.
Okay. More like, there are so many weird personal beefs here that I cannot keep them straight. I can't tell you today who sparred yesterday. Can't do it. So I don't know if there's some backstory I've forgotten. And sometimes just because I may think a comment is over the line, it doesn't mean that the recipient or the rest of the board thinks it's too far. And honestly, the first several times she (Emmy) dropped an insult bomb I thought she was joking. I mean, the "snoddy little twat" insult from another poster a while back is now a running joke. And...sometimes it's just fear. I know I have posted plenty of things that could be pitched back in my face. I don't need that happening. So I just watch.
:Y: I honestly wasn't trying to be snatchy to you or anything right then either. I was just wondering where you were coming from.