Ugh. I'm right here with you. My DD just turned 8 yesterday and is 44lbs. My concern is more that she didn't gain a pound this year. Not one. She's always been small - she was a preemie and FTT and we've struggled with her weight for a very long time, but this is bad. Her well check is next week and I'm already dreading it. I am going to have them run a variety of blood tests just because I want to make sure we have everything covered. And I really get annoyed when people say "don't worry, she'll eat if she's hungry, she's just tiny!" because it's not always as simple as that. I've always been told not to stress about meals, but to look at the day as a whole. My kids love to eat breakfast, but aren't huge lunch eaters. Have you tracked her calories (hard when she's at school) to see if she's getting enough? For a long time I just let DD eat whatever she wanted as long as she was eating, but now I do require her to eat what we're having for dinner (she has to taste it, if she doesn't like it there are "friendly" options available to her - yogurt, pb, cheese). She's pretty open to trying most things, she just isn't a very hungry person and I'm worried I'm going to start having to force her to consume more calories and I'm so worried about doing that with an 8yo (seems like it causes less issues with a toddler). Like you we've always tried to focus on how food makes our body feel and never use thin/fat/etc, but she has to f-ing eat something!! My plan is to talk to her about making sure she has enough protein to fuel her body and possibly even show her how many calories she's getting and how many she needs (I'm going to talk to her doc about this, I'm really hesitant to do it because I don't want to make her weight an issue). I don't really have any advice because I'm in the same spot, but I wanted you to know how frustrating it is and I'd love to hear more about what you guys decide to do and what works and doesn't. Hugs!
Do you think you could talk about calories as in, "This is what we need to make our bodies work," and not really talk about the relationship between calories and weight? And talk about how for a lot of people, when they're under on calories, they're sleepy, grouchy, fuzzy-minded, etc.
I really hope so. My worry is that she doesn't think she feels "bad" - she think she feels fine and at this point her fine isn't good enough. She would feel better with more food, but how do you convince an 8yo of that?
Post by DotAndBuzz on Mar 15, 2016 12:12:03 GMT -5
Thank you for all the replies/suggestions.
She won't eat smoothies except for the glorified kool-aid ones at the gym, doesn't like peanut butter, and was been tested for metabolic issues last year. Thankfully no issues there, including celiac. She never complains of stomach pain, so I think that's a good thing. We also already do full fat food (whole milk, butter, high fat greek yogurt - which she won't eat of course!). I feel like I'm shooting everything down, and I don't mean to, but when I say I've tried it all, I feel like really have.
The one thing we haven't done yet, which I think I may finally try, is the ensure/pediasure shakes. I resisted them because 1) her doctor hedged when I asked about it, and 2) I wanted her to have actual food, and not think of a milkshake as breakfast. But I think it may be time.
She had been weighing herself because she wanted to hit 45 lbs so she could go on the rock wall at the gym, and 45 lbs in the minimum, so she saw it as a good thing when she hit it. Her tennis coach has been really positive in telling her he can see how strong she's getting, etc, so I build on that to encourage her to give her body energy to continue to get stronger.
I'll email her teacher to see if anything's up at school, and will go ahead and make an appointment with her therapist. It's been about 2 years since she last saw her. Worst case scenario she'll need therapy when she's an adult because her mom was crazy and made her go to a therapist.
Post by foundmylazybum on Mar 15, 2016 12:12:09 GMT -5
This might be overly simple but try making the things she likes. There's really nothing wrong with ham and scrambled eggs for breakfast. Try giving her some autonomy over lunches and dinner. Have you taken her grocery shopping and asked her what she would like for meals 1-2 times a week? Even if she just picks out sides thats giving her some measure of autonomy and control in her food choices.
Post by adhdfashion on Mar 15, 2016 12:13:16 GMT -5
My Natalie is under weight and eats like a horse. :/ I have been looking into organic protein powders and bars. The pedi said to trying bulking her up with milkshakes. If I find anything that works, I will message you.
This might be overly simple but try making the things she likes. There's really nothing wrong with ham and scrambled eggs for breakfast. Try giving her some autonomy over lunches and dinner. Have you taken her grocery shopping and asked her what she would like for meals 1-2 times a week? Even if she just picks out sides thats giving her some measure of autonomy and control in her food choices.
I have. Every morning I ask her what she wants for breakfast and lunch. She says "nothing," despite my suggestions. I would happily make her eggs, and have made them to just give her despite her saying she wants nothing, and she pushes them around her plate. She likes them, and has eaten them in the past. :\ She is old enough to make her own choices, and I'm happy to let her do so. But "nothing" isn't going to work.
She's come shopping, and she has flat out told me she doesn't want me to buy her anything.
This might be overly simple but try making the things she likes. There's really nothing wrong with ham and scrambled eggs for breakfast. Try giving her some autonomy over lunches and dinner. Have you taken her grocery shopping and asked her what she would like for meals 1-2 times a week? Even if she just picks out sides thats giving her some measure of autonomy and control in her food choices.
I have. Every morning I ask her what she wants for breakfast and lunch. She says "nothing," despite my suggestions. I would happily make her eggs, and have made them to just give her despite her saying she wants nothing, and she pushes them around her plate. She likes them, and has eaten them in the past. :\ She is old enough to make her own choices, and I'm happy to let her do so. But "nothing" isn't going to work.
She's come shopping, and she has flat out told me she doesn't want me to buy her anything.
A couple other ideas might be buying some kids cook books. Or even like Cooking Light has a cool kids corner with easy fun recipes. I have to be honest: I'm really thin, & sometimes struggle with feeling like "blahhh nothing g to eat!!" Im 36! :confused: Im also super active lol. Finding some resources and exploring other foods to try really helped. Even just...adding avacado to my breakfast eggs made my day brighter. Maybe a couple changes can do the same for N.
My ds is 9 and basically only eats breakfast. I was at school for lunch today and he at 4 crackers, 2 grapes and 2 oreos. He said he was full. Did not eat his turkey, rest of the grapes, pretzel thins, applesauce. I give a variety in hope that he eats something. I have offered to get him whatever he wants for lunch. I can't find a thermos that will keep anything hot until 11:30 when he eats lunch (I pack it at 7 am).
He usually never eats dinner.
At Cub Scouts this weekend they did a casualty carry activity. One kid who is about the same height said he was 71 pounds. My ds is about 53.
My ds is 9 and basically only eats breakfast. I was at school for lunch today and he at 4 crackers, 2 grapes and 2 oreos. He said he was full. Did not eat his turkey, rest of the grapes, pretzel thins, applesauce. I give a variety in hope that he eats something. I have offered to get him whatever he wants for lunch. I can't find a thermos that will keep anything hot until 11:30 when he eats lunch (I pack it at 7 am).
He usually never eats dinner.
At Cub Scouts this weekend they did a casualty carry activity. One kid who is about the same height said he was 71 pounds. My ds is about 53.
There are thermoses intended for soups, those don't work for you? I bought one for C and it has been working well.
My nephew used to have issues with eating and one thing that worked against him was too much food at once. I think it overwhelmed him. Maybe just pare down his lunch to three things and see how that goes?
My ds is 9 and basically only eats breakfast. I was at school for lunch today and he at 4 crackers, 2 grapes and 2 oreos. He said he was full. Did not eat his turkey, rest of the grapes, pretzel thins, applesauce. I give a variety in hope that he eats something. I have offered to get him whatever he wants for lunch. I can't find a thermos that will keep anything hot until 11:30 when he eats lunch (I pack it at 7 am).
He usually never eats dinner.
At Cub Scouts this weekend they did a casualty carry activity. One kid who is about the same height said he was 71 pounds. My ds is about 53.
There are thermoses intended for soups, those don't work for you? I bought one for C and it has been working well.
My nephew used to have issues with eating and one thing that worked against him was too much food at once. I think it overwhelmed him. Maybe just pare down his lunch to three things and see how that goes?
What brand/type do you have? I have tried like 3 or 4 kinds with no luck. Of course, it could be his pickiness - the slightest bit cold and he won't eat it.
I just started putting more in there in the last two weeks. I used to just give him protein/main food, fruit, dessert. Thanks for the suggestions.
My ds is 9 and basically only eats breakfast. I was at school for lunch today and he at 4 crackers, 2 grapes and 2 oreos. He said he was full. Did not eat his turkey, rest of the grapes, pretzel thins, applesauce. I give a variety in hope that he eats something. I have offered to get him whatever he wants for lunch. I can't find a thermos that will keep anything hot until 11:30 when he eats lunch (I pack it at 7 am).
He usually never eats dinner.
At Cub Scouts this weekend they did a casualty carry activity. One kid who is about the same height said he was 71 pounds. My ds is about 53.
Pour boiling water into the thermous for 10 minutes, then dump it and add the food. The food has to be steaming hot when you put it in to stay warm till lunch. This is what I do with my dd's pasta and she says it's warm when she eats it.
My ds is 9 and basically only eats breakfast. I was at school for lunch today and he at 4 crackers, 2 grapes and 2 oreos. He said he was full. Did not eat his turkey, rest of the grapes, pretzel thins, applesauce. I give a variety in hope that he eats something. I have offered to get him whatever he wants for lunch. I can't find a thermos that will keep anything hot until 11:30 when he eats lunch (I pack it at 7 am).
He usually never eats dinner.
At Cub Scouts this weekend they did a casualty carry activity. One kid who is about the same height said he was 71 pounds. My ds is about 53.
Pour boiling water into the thermous for 10 minutes, then dump it and add the food. The food has to be steaming hot when you put it in to stay warm till lunch. This is what I do with my dd's pasta and she says it's warm when she eats it.
I have tried the boiling water and the food is always super hot. I am thinking it is just my kid
She won't eat smoothies except for the glorified kool-aid ones at the gym, doesn't like peanut butter, and was been tested for metabolic issues last year. Thankfully no issues there, including celiac. She never complains of stomach pain, so I think that's a good thing. We also already do full fat food (whole milk, butter, high fat greek yogurt - which she won't eat of course!). I feel like I'm shooting everything down, and I don't mean to, but when I say I've tried it all, I feel like really have.
The one thing we haven't done yet, which I think I may finally try, is the ensure/pediasure shakes. I resisted them because 1) her doctor hedged when I asked about it, and 2) I wanted her to have actual food, and not think of a milkshake as breakfast. But I think it may be time.
My daughter must be living at your house! This is exactly my DD. She's 11 and on the small side but is EXTREMELY picky. Most days she honestly doesn't eat breakfast. I try to get her to but get so frustrated that I just give up. Some days I can get her to take a bag of cereal with her. I've resorted to buying any cereal she wants just to get her to eat something. I even tried the ensure shakes. She tried them but hated them. They are pretty nasty (although her 6 year old brother loved them). I've tried protein shakes but again she hated them. Will she drink juice? I can get DD to drink juice for at least some calories in the morning. She's hit or miss with lunch and does eat snack foods but again it varies daily on what she likes. It's frustrating. I really have no idea what she will eat on a particular day.
Fwiw, I don't think your reply is shooting down ideas. I totally get where you're coming from with the "tried it all, didn't work though". I think we all do.
You mentioned her tennis coach, could he help with a talk about kinds of food and when to eat to fuel her body for strength and the link to her game? My niece's basketball coach did a series for the team about healthy eating and its importance for game performance and niece completely changed her eating habits (she's competitive) and calorie intake.
There are thermoses intended for soups, those don't work for you? I bought one for C and it has been working well.
My nephew used to have issues with eating and one thing that worked against him was too much food at once. I think it overwhelmed him. Maybe just pare down his lunch to three things and see how that goes?
What brand/type do you have? I have tried like 3 or 4 kinds with no luck. Of course, it could be his pickiness - the slightest bit cold and he won't eat it.
I just started putting more in there in the last two weeks. I used to just give him protein/main food, fruit, dessert. Thanks for the suggestions.
I think I bought the thermos brand. I sometimes make soup in the morning for her lunch. My mom used to do this for me. I am not sure if it is piping hot, which she would not like anyway, but I think it is still pretty warm. I will ask her to be sure.
Post by revolution on Mar 15, 2016 13:36:44 GMT -5
Does she have any favorite foods?
I'm torn on this. My DD is 8 and is 48 lbs and 50 inches - so about the same. She hates breakfast. (So do I). She is super picky. But I know the couple of things she will actually eat so I keep a good supply of that stuff (I'm assuming you do to if she has favorites).
I do worry about my DD, like you do. We talk about eating for energy, especially after softball or cheer practice. She has to replace the energy she used and fuel her body so she can play well. That seems to work. I don't force eating, so if she says she's not hungry I suggest a few other things and then drop it. I keep food on hand, she can choose to eat it or not. I do feel she goes days surviving on air though. I have resorted to the pediasure drinks at times when she just wouldn't eat anything.
I was 103 when I graduated HS. 107 when I got married at 30 years old, so I am sure she is just taking after me, but my radar is up and so is the pedi's to make sure she is growing in a healthy way.
Anyway, I shared all of that so you know you aren't alone. And neither is N. I think a therapy session or 2 could help ease both of your minds and therapy never hurts, in my opinion.
I was a small kid (I'm still short - only 4'11") and very thin. When I was in elementary school, I would be sick a lot in the mornings. Either really nauseated or throwing up, and it would make me not eat a lot of food. It was always worse when I was tired and I would sometimes go a whole weekend without being able to eat - this was probably due to me being so afraid of puking. I recover so much more quickly now. (I stayed fairly thin until I was 18, not breaking 100 pounds until then. Then I went to college and discovered I could eat grilled cheese and buttered pasta whenever I wanted.)
It wasn't until college that I realized that the post nasal drip I constantly had was making me feel so sick all the time. A few years after that, I was also diagnosed with gastroparesis, which makes me full very quickly and I get nauseated through my meals (and sometimes I vomit up a meal that by "normal" standards shouldn't be in my stomach anymore - usually in the morning). All of a sudden, my eating habits from childhood made a lot of sense. People always commented on how little I ate and how slowly I ate, but it's because I was usually trying to push through nausea. (BTW I'm 30 and people still make comments. I hate people.)
I don't remember my mom expressing concerns about my size, but she was always really frustrated with how picky I was. I wish I could have been able to express how I was physically feeling, but because it was my normal, I had no idea that what I experience was wrong. (I found out at 26, when my doctor asked me if I had a bunch of seemingly unrelated symptoms to the GERD we were trying to address.) I still can't stomach some of my favorite foods depending on the morning - eggs and yogurt routinely make me gag but they are also my staples. I drink tea all day every day and yesterday I could barely swallow it. (Also, because of my GERD, any mealtime can be pretty miserable. I'm often just not hungry because the effort of finding something I can eat that won't make me feel worse is a daunting task. I ate a lot of cereal for meals before my doctor told me to cut the carbs.)
All of this is to say, there could be something going on physically that makes food just completely unappealing. Perhaps you can explore how she feels physically when she does and doesn't want to eat.
My daughters friend is also 8 and 45 lbs so I can picture this for reference. its quite thin. My daughter is 8 almost 9 and she is 67 lbs and she is quite thin. My daughters friends mom has her daughter drink ensure every day between meals to help her gain some weight. The parents are going through a pretty rough divorce and it appears the little girl withholds food from herself as a coping mechanism. Mom is aware and on top of it. But its scary.
I would def talk to the dr and think of therapy esp with the comment
Post by chickadee77 on Mar 15, 2016 17:26:39 GMT -5
I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I struggled a lot with eating from about 9-17. I was just never hungry (though, looking back, I think there was a significant tie to body image issues, though I didn't see it at the time). Breakfast made me gaggy - until I discovered that carbs in the morning made me feel like shit for the rest of the day, and eggs grossed me out, so I started eating more non-traditional "breakfast" foods. My mom also insisted I drink an Ensure and take a multi-vitamin every day - she pretty much said that she couldn't control my eating, but she refused to let my nutrition suffer if possible. Don't know if that's a good answer or not anymore these days, but not being pressured or labelled as having an ED really took the stress away for me.
Is she constipated? I'd be highly suspect. I have a very thin DD who is almost 7 who is extremely picky & has underlying sensory & low tone issues that I know plays in...this started her issues. She will eat some breakfast, minimal lunch & dinner. But when she's backed up she really, really has no appetite. In an older kid like yours (DD3 has had this problem since potty training hence why I'm tuned in to the possibility) there is no way you'd probably know if it's been going on for long term. If a kid is constipated long enough, it doesn't really even hurt or really even bother them much other than a general not feeling great (which they don't realize because it's been so long). This is the case for my DD3. I can tell she's constipated in 2 ways...she's never hungry and she's moody as hell. You could get an X-ray to check. She may not admit/know if she is. The treatment is pretty easy. I'd seriously look into it. Maybe it is an eating/control issue but it may just be something this simple.
There is also the possibility of food sensitivities. While I tested negative for an allergy to potatoes, if I eat any including just the starch it only takes one bite for me to feel full and bloated. This was hard to discover because potato starch is considered a safe additive to food. It took a detailed food journal and cross referencing the foods.