DD & a Movie Party--ventish (updated! Movie!)

[nicolewi]

DD1(7) is going to a movie-themed bday party on Saturday at someone's house. She is super sensitive about movies and has only seen Winnie the Pooh, Frozen, Cinderella, and Cars out of the typical kid-movie list. It was over a year ago when she first saw these, but she even had trouble with Cinderella initially (tears + "the mice! They are going to get eaten! I don't want to watch this!"). We had to totally coax her into watching Frozen and she wouldn't watch parts of it the first couple times.

So, I nicely asked the parents right away if they could let me know what movie they were planning to show. I said that DD is sensitive about movies and we may want to prep her a little. Really, I want to pre-watch the movie with her. They said they hadn't decided yet but it would be some kind of PIxar-type thing (as DH says, "that's what we're afraid of!" ha). I followed up again yesterday to ask if they had decided yet and said DD1 is excited about the party. No response yet. I realize they probably think I'm nuts and I'm probably annoying them, but I'm super annoyed that they haven't responded about the movie! If they don't answer today or tomorrow, I am not sure what we will do. This probably seems silly to them but it's a big issue for us and I don't want DD to be embarrassed at the party. I also don't think it's unreasonable to name the movie if you have having a movie party for 6/7 year olds. 

ETA: She replied!! They are either watching The Peanuts Movie (PERFECT!) or The Good Dinosaur (HORRIBLE!!!). I talked to DD and will send her with a book/activity in case they choose the Good Dinosaur and she has a hard time. We just watched the preview online. I warned her about the dad dinosaur dying in the flood, and she didn't like the pteranodons getting eaten, but I said that after the beginning with the Dad to just remember that the main characters will be OK and it's just a movie.

[auroraloo]

I get that it's an issue for you guys, I'm sorry it's bugging you.

On the other hand, it isn't an issue for your average 6/7 year old. I'm guessing the birthday kid hasn't picked the movie yet, and chances are they'll change their mind by tomorrow anyway.

[nicolewi]

I know, most kids don't seem to have this issue. I think we're making progress and we were going to try some new movies at home, but for now it's still a big deal for us.

And I get that maybe the bday girl hasn't picked yet. But I still think that since I have now emailed two times and it's just a couple days before the party, that they could at least respond in some way. I.e. she is still deciding, we're down to these two, or whatever. Or just let me know if you won't know until day-off and then I have to talk to DD and see what she wants to do.

[auroraloo]

Mar 16, 2016 9:33:02 GMT -5 nicolewi said:

I know, most kids don't seem to have this issue. I think we're making progress and we were going to try some new movies at home, but for now it's still a big deal for us.

And I get that maybe the bday girl hasn't picked yet. But I still think that since I have now emailed two times and it's just a couple days before the party, that they could at least respond in some way. I.e. she is still deciding, we're down to these two, or whatever. Or just let me know if you won't know until day-off and then I have to talk to DD and see what she wants to do.

Two days before a party I'm not even thinking about my emails. Try texting or calling. 

[nicolewi]

Good point about texting. Maybe I will try that.

[mamaalysson]

My DD is the exact same way about movies - terrified of pretty much all of them. I would focus more on preparing your DD than trying to get information from the party parents. Tell her you don't know what the movie is, and it might be something she hasn't seen before. Help her come up with a plan for what to do if she gets scared or nervous. Maybe being around her friends and not having you there will actually help? DD has gotten super nervous every time we've gone to the children's theater. She went with her kindergarten class without me a few weeks ago, and was super nervous leading up to it. But when she came home she said it was great, and that she wasn't scared at all. Good luck!

[gastro]

I don't have any advice but we have the same issue with movies. My DS won't watch them so we've skipped a few parties. Sorry the hosts have not responded and knowing what you are dealing with I would be annoyed too.

[quesyrah]

I would just talk to your daughter. Give her some suggestions for what to do if she gets scared.

Worst case, drop her off after the movie

[lala]

I would do what mamaalysson suggests and work more on general prep & planning to deal with whatever movie it is.

And while it's hard when it's your kid, with kids that age they probably are going with whatever the birthday girl wants 10 minutes before they put it on.

[honeydew1894]

Mar 16, 2016 10:53:50 GMT -5 mamaalysson said:

My DD is the exact same way about movies - terrified of pretty much all of them. I would focus more on preparing your DD than trying to get information from the party parents. Tell her you don't know what the movie is, and it might be something she hasn't seen before. Help her come up with a plan for what to do if she gets scared or nervous. Maybe being around her friends and not having you there will actually help? DD has gotten super nervous every time we've gone to the children's theater. She went with her kindergarten class without me a few weeks ago, and was super nervous leading up to it. But when she came home she said it was great, and that she wasn't scared at all. Good luck!

Yeah I fall here as well.  If she gets upset, what is her plan?  I think that would be more useful than worrying about the specific movie. Also, if you give the parents a heads up, maybe they can keep an eye on her. Maybe send her with a quiet solo activity in case she is unable to watch the movie?

[nicolewi]

Thank you for the good ideas! I'll talk to her and maybe send an activity she can use if needed (coloring book or whatever) in a backpack. I didn't want to embarrass her more by talking to the hosts but maybe I'll give them a heads-up that DD has XYZ with her in case the movie is too intense. I think this is hard to understand if your kid has no problem watching shows and they probably totally don't get it.

[Deleted]

Sorry this is 2016 and the majority of people have smart phones and get emails on them so I'm annoyed for you that they haven't replied. I mean even a quick "hi we aren't sure yet but will keep you posted" would be polite and minimal effort. I do like the other ideas though and sorry for your dd, all kids are different so having a back up for her will be good.

[Deleted]

Also maybe I'm biased because I live in a neighborhood with a Mormon temple and big Mormon population and am aware that their kids have different restrictions, so I just don't think it's a big deal to advise the parents of the movie ahead of time. Hope your dd has a great time regardless!!

[auroraloo]

Mar 16, 2016 14:24:32 GMT -5 @itsbritt said:

Sorry this is 2016 and the majority of people have smart phones and get emails on them so I'm annoyed for you that they haven't replied. I mean even a quick "hi we aren't sure yet but will keep you posted" would be polite and minimal effort. I do like the other ideas though and sorry for your dd, all kids are different so having a back up for her will be good.

I rarely check my email, even though it's on my phone. Text me and I'll text back right away. 

[cjcouple]

Definitely understand why you're annoyed but there could be any number of reasons for not responding.

I agree, prep her ahead. Plus I bet by watching with her friends, it'll change the entire experience and she may like it. Good luck to her.

[quesyrah]

Mar 16, 2016 15:50:56 GMT -5 auroraloo said:

Mar 16, 2016 14:24:32 GMT -5 @itsbritt said:

Sorry this is 2016 and the majority of people have smart phones and get emails on them so I'm annoyed for you that they haven't replied. I mean even a quick "hi we aren't sure yet but will keep you posted" would be polite and minimal effort. I do like the other ideas though and sorry for your dd, all kids are different so having a back up for her will be good.

I rarely check my email, even though it's on my phone. Text me and I'll text back right away. 

This is totally me! All I get is junk mail so I don't even check it.

I hate talking on the phone but I'll text all day!

[cjcouple]

Oh i wonder if she is doing red box the night before or morning of? Would make sense why she didn't have exact movie.

I am pretty sure they won't all just sit and intently watch the movie anyway. Theyll prob start it and start talking and half watching. I would be shocked if they all sat and watched whole movie.

[Deleted]

I like the advice other posters have given, just wanted to chime in that I feel your pain. DS is 4 and has never watched a movie. He loves the characters from Cars but doesn't want to see the movie. Even Clifford the Big Red Dog is too intense for him sometimes! I found the activities at preschool really tough over Halloween, and he had more nightmares the whole month of October. At least they're sensitive? I hope it all goes well!

[nowa]

No advice, just wanted to say that my DD1 (almost 5) is the same way. She gets scared pretty easily when there's anything slightly scary or even just sad or uncomfortable. She will not watch it.