HoneySpider - My ILs are big food pushers, too, which is especially awkward for me because of my health issues. My step-MIL is always trying to feed me, no matter how many times I tell her that I prefer not to eat when I'm away from home. She just says, "I know, but what can I have here in case you change your mind?" I appreciate her effort, but I wish she would just listen and stop trying to get me to eat when I'm there!
My MIL defiantly has her moments which drive me insane. She is a huge push over when it comes to BIL and she enables his drug habit. She spoils my niece and nephew so much and can't understand why they act like spoiled brats. (SIL spoils them too.) She is very nosey when it comes to dh and I having kids.
But I do have to say that she has come and cleaned my house whenever I was sick, and when I had my 3 D&Cs she snuck in the house and cleaned every time. She also brought dinner each time too. And she brought dinner 2-3 nights a week for 2-3 weeks after as well. You can tell she really is just trying to be as helpful as possible. Sometimes it's a little over bored though.
Dhs main complaint is about how he was raised. He was always the child that could fend for himself so MIL never helped him/ did anything for him. (Both siblings got a car as a grad gift, he got $50.) Both siblings got to do sports or whatever growing up but dh wasn't allowed because "it was too expensive". He holds a lot of resentment towards his mom. (There are other reason too but it would be the longest post ever, lol)
If FIL passes before MIL we may never have a relationship with MIL.