Familial Friday

[MrsMB]

What do you think of your MIL?

(And any other stuff you want to chat about....)

[MrsMB]

I used to think my MIL was this meek, quiet, subservient, sweeeeet little woman who just knitted and baked....until she spent two weeks with us at Christmas. The whole thing really ruined my view of her. Instead of helping me the way I needed it, she and the rest of her family that came down were really just there to party. At least they left me food about 3/4 of the time I love my husband to pieces....I do. But I also feel she was an enabler of him being self-absorbed at times. I think she tried to make up for the bad stuff his Dad did to him growing up. Like, I truly think he could join IS.IS and her only response would be, "That's nice honeeeeey! Would you like me to knit you a flag to take with you to the Middle East?" She's a doormat in her marriage too.....but I get that's the culture up there. Her husband built plans for them to build a home up there in the backwoods of PA where they live. He told her she could have a say with some of the items. When she told the builder what kind of kitchen she wanted, FIL went behind her back and changed it all. She cries about that till this day but will never ever speak up about it....

God forgive me for being hateful.....I wish I still had the same opinion of her as I did maybe 5-6 months ago.

[estrellita]

I like my MIL for the most part. She's super nice, laid back, and we share a lot of similar views. The only thing I don't like is that she can be a tad dramatic. I think it's just some anxiety but she also... overstates? Is that the right word? Like every time E makes a noise he's singing or trying to say words. It's been this way since he first started making sounds. I mean, I get that they're proud of their grandson, but no, he's not a super genius child, lol. Everything he does is pretty normal.

[wanderingenough]

Nope. Nopeeee. Nopeeee. Nopeeee. Think lovely thoughts, Wandering. Think lovely thoughts.

Ask me again in May after I see her. Until then I'm going to be a big girl and take the high road.

[MrsMB]

Mar 18, 2016 11:50:20 GMT -5 wanderingenough said:

Nope. Nopeeee. Nopeeee. Nopeeee. Think lovely thoughts, Wandering. Think lovely thoughts.

Ask me again in May after I see her. Until then I'm going to be a big girl and take the high road.

Imma need you to school me on taking the high road  

[amaranth]

*poof*

[cgpm]

My MIL is overall a very sweet lady. I think most of what she does comes from the heart so I always try to keep that in mind. But sometimes her sweetness grates. Lol. For example, now that DS is here she would like to visit weekly. I try to be accommodating, but sometimes she doesn't prioritize her time well or I just really want a day to change out of PJs.

The biggest thing I've realized with her is that she wants a relationship. My SIL and she aren't all that close and I think she's a bit envious of the relationship I have with my own mom. So I try hard to work on our relationship and make her feel included.

[MrsMB]

amaranth Organic food??? What would possess you??? ha! OMG, she sounds like a trip!

[amaranth]

Mar 18, 2016 12:08:56 GMT -5 MrsMB said:

amaranth Organic food??? What would possess you??? ha! OMG, she sounds like a trip!

At least I had already finished the poptarts from the pantry

[Deleted]

My MIL is very different person from me. [...] H is her favourite which I think makes our relationship a bit easier than her relationship with her other DILs.
Edited for internet safety.

[MrsMB]

Mar 18, 2016 12:16:10 GMT -5 amaranth said:

Mar 18, 2016 12:08:56 GMT -5 MrsMB said:

amaranth Organic food??? What would possess you??? ha! OMG, she sounds like a trip!

At least I had already finished the poptarts from the pantry

Good job  

[Deleted]

amaranth - If you don't mind me asking what kind of "OT" curses does she believe in?

[MrsMB]

On a bizarre note.....DH called me just now (bizarre timing!) and told me he had a chat with his Mom this morning who apparently "felt bad" because she didn't feel like she understood how to help me at Christmas. Um, I told you in the kitchen EXACTLY how you could help me. She's playing the "sweet little Mom" card with DH.

I just told him, "Ok, thanks for telling me." I'm in no mood to discuss it further...he and his Mom both have each other on a pedestal in a very bizzare way. Plus he knows ALL about how I felt and how hurt I was back then. (He understood too which was nice.) But I have no intent to drag this out again with him....and I sure as heck don't want to discuss it with her....ever.

[amaranth]

Mar 18, 2016 12:38:41 GMT -5 @opal said:

amaranth - If you don't mind me asking what kind of "OT" curses does she believe in?

poof

[MrsMB]

amaranth Oh boy....

[Deleted]

amaranth: That's awful. It's one thing to believe that, another to talk about it in regards to people you know. :S

[estrellita]

amaranth lol forever. That's ridiculous. My mom was pregnant with my sister and MIL was pregnant with H at their weddings. That was in 1978/1985 and our parents are still together and pretty sure the resulting kids are just fine, lol. I think if you believe stuff like that your kids are doomed! (General you in case that wasn't clear)

[luv2rn4fun]

Poof

[bk1]

She is very sweet, always does her best to try to help, genuinely cares about the people she loves and will put her children before herself any day.


Edited

[Deleted]

No shame DD. One is never safe online.

[rockinrobyn]

Oh lawd! My MIL is a 63 year old child. She whines and complains when she doesn't get her way. She picks fights with FIL and is hard to have a grown up conversation with. She cares more about what other people think of her and her family. She is spoiled and has never really grown up. H says the same thing about her. I can only handle being around her for short amounts of time because of all the above reasons. Don't get me started on her health problems and use of natural cures.

[amaranth]

bk1 sounds like our MILs could be friends. Lol

[amaranth]

It sounds like a lot of our MILs are into natural cures. Is it their age/generation?

My mom is a bit obsessed too but thankfully less pushy and not so crazy go think oils cure cancer or that bs.

[bk1]

Mar 18, 2016 16:54:24 GMT -5 amaranth said:

It sounds like a lot of our MILs are into natural cures. Is it their age/generation?

My mom is a bit obsessed too but thankfully less pushy and not so crazy go think oils cure cancer or that bs.

Maybe?

My MIL is into Eat Right for Your Blood Type, gluten free, preservative free foods. She grows an organic garden and has free range chickens. She will take a dozen natural supplements but did everything possible to avoid the thyroid meds her doctor wanted her to take. She has been getting into essential oils lately. She has a related degree and that's when she got into all of this stuff. 

My mom is nothing like that. She doesn't eat particularly healthy, eats out a LOT, and doesn't put much stock into natural remedies. 


My mom and MIL's birthdays are exactly 6 months apart. I swear it is just one more piece of proof that they are complete opposites. 

[Deleted]

I love my MIL. She's a great woman. She has a great sense of humor that is similar to mine. She doesn't interfere in our marriage at all. She is very caring but pretends not to be lol. When we go to visit she treats me like part of the family.

She has her moments too. Believe me, it's not all butterflies and rainbows.

They live in Florida so we only see them 1-2 times a year. H does most of the communication with them since it's easier.

[rockinrobyn]

Mar 18, 2016 16:54:24 GMT -5 amaranth said:

It sounds like a lot of our MILs are into natural cures. Is it their age/generation?

My mom is a bit obsessed too but thankfully less pushy and not so crazy go think oils cure cancer or that bs.

My MIL had a large tumor removed from her pancreas and still has some smaller tumors that they didn't remove. She is all about "shrinking the tumors" and will try anything anyone tells her. She didn't have cancer but believes she did since she has tumors. With all of that she takes tons of supplements, gets intravenous vitamin c, used essential oils (SIL sells them and told her how they will help with her issues). I wanted ibuprofen yesterday for a headache and she would only give me white willowbark because it was all natural and is what Tylenol is made from.

[katespade]

My MIL always has good intentions. Her execution might not always be great, but the good intentions are always there. (Can you tell I'm being vague because this is not a safe place?). She is a wonderful person and I enjoy spending time with her the couple of times a year that I see her. She is very supportive of H and I's relationship, welcomed me into the family with open arms, and treats me like she considers me one of her children.

In the grand scheme of things, I'm very lucky that I have her as a MIL. Especially after reading some of the other posts in this thread. lol.

[Blue Moon]

I really like my MIL. We live in H's hometown (my family is all 2 hours away) so we see a lot of her and all H's family. She treats me as one of her own daughters and she absolutely adores Brooke. We get along very well. Believe me, I know I'm lucky!

[travelbug]

I wish I could say I was blessed with a wonderful MIL... But I wouldn't even know where to start with mine. She's hmm, delightful...

[HoneySpider]

I love my MIL, I definitely lucked out! She is a very sweet, caring person and has always treated me well and welcomed me into their family. DH definitely takes after her in a lot of (good) ways.

My biggest complaint is that she is a HUGE food pusher! Whenever we visit she is constantly offering us snacks which is not good for someone who likes snacks.