moms are weird

[georgeharrison]

Tell your story of how your mom has overstepped her bounds or said something really offensive. It seems like there are a lot of us who have had this happen.

[georgeharrison]

My story: James and I weren't married very long. We were trying to pave our own way. I was the last sibling to get married, and although I lived on my own for several years before I got married, I think my parents didn't look at me as independent. We lived about 35 miles from my parents house and had spent a good amount of time with them before our wedding. After the wedding, we didn't go to their house very often. I can't remember what exactly prompted it, but one day my mom called and she asked me to put James on the phone. I was confused, but I did it. She started lighting into him saying that he wasn't going to take her daughter away from her and how dare he and blah, blah, blah. James is confrontational and argumentative, and he definitely lashed back, but somehow didn't go too overboard (no name calling or anything), but he had to basically tell her to cut the cord and allow me to have my new life as a wife instead of as their daughter.

I was appalled, but more than that, I was embarrassed! I didn't talk to my mom for a couple weeks. I finally saw her online one day while we were at work and I sent her an IM. It wasn't the best way to get things started and it didn't start out very well, but at least it got our communication going again. It took a while, but my parents all really love James now.

I think it was a necessary thing to happen. My parents really needed to be told that I was a grown up and my life direction wasn't up to them. It sucked to go through, though.

[jennlin]

i think the most recent development with my mother is the worst we've had (her favoring her son). we're still not over it..and it's really hard, because i am/was super close with my mother.

[Deleted]

The most shocking thing that my mom has said to me is (this is word for word):

It is not just your decision to have a child, this is a family matter and we'll all make this decision.

[Deleted]

Aug 31, 2012 11:02:11 GMT -5 @lauralynne said:

Not enough space on the interwebs to explain 44 years of not being good enough at anything I do...

+1

[llh0211]

I'm really fortunate in that I honestly can't think of a time that my mom has overstepped. She's the most accepting person I have ever known.

[madDawg228]

I wouldn't say she has been pushy or overstepped. But she isn't involved in my life as much as I wish she were. During wedding stuff, she missed my bridal shower and refused to attend the hair/makeup gtg before the wedding. It was too "inconvenient" for her to attend both events, and it made me sad.

[mkate710]

UW, your mom and my MIL could be friends.

My mom doesn't really overstep anymore because she's seen the damage MIL has done and doesn't want us to never see her. I love my mom, but she is really insecure about herself and projects it on me. Sometime around middle school, she told me that I looked like a "stuffed sausage" in the shirt I was wearing. That topic came up a few more times during my teen years. She said it again when I tried on a wedding dress at the wedding show. That ended her involvement with me buying my dress.

[picksthemusic]

You know, with most of us having bad/hurtful experiences with our moms, it just makes me hope to all that is good in this world that I will never, ever treat M like that. I want her to feel accepted and loved unconditionally, and I never want her to feel like my mom has made me feel sometimes.

When I get home, I will be hugging and loving on my baby girl.

[mkate710]

I think having both a hurtful mom and MIL is a big piece of my hesitation to have kids. I know it's a little ridiculous, but I'm afraid of hurting my kids the way the mom figures in my life have hurt me. It's always been passed off as being my fault, and it makes me feel totally inadequate.

[Deleted]

The worst my mom has ever done was right after we found out that Edmund was going to be born with a cleft lip and palate. We were going through a rough time trying to figure out what it all entailed because we were trying to get ahold of UW med center so I could have a higher res ultrasound done. We were out to dinner with her and my grandma and were talking about what we knew so far about the whole thing. She asked what our chances were for having another child born with the same condition. When we told her that it only raised our chances by 1% from everyone else. Both she and my grandma started talking about whether we were planning on having anymore children. Then the curve ball hit and my mom just blurted out that maybe we shouldn't have anymore children since they could all be born with the same thing. I nearly walked out of the restaurant at that moment.

Then a week after that we had gone to have the high res ultrasound and had an amnio done to determine if there were any chromosomal anomalies. I was talking to my grandma on the phone and she said that maybe we shouldn't continue the pregnancy. I told here that that was out of the question. We talked a little longer about Christmas and then I didn't talk to them for 3 months.