Update: DH's Inheritance

[luvmagoldn]

Some of you may remember I posted in February about an inheritance DH received from his mother. I'm at work so I can't link to the original post on TN. If someone else can - feel free.

Anyway, at this moment we are still Ferrari free. I decided to back off and see what unfolded. DH came to me not long after I posted and said the inheritance was a big game changer for us and that we should be smart with it. I agreed! He has looked at a few cars and has his eye on a couple but hasn't gotten serious about any of them.

Along the way he's said things like, "I'm not getting a Ferrari am I?" Instead of answering I would question him saying things like, "why do you say that?" He definitely knows that it's not the smartest move but he is still wrestling with his want and his feeling entitled to do something fun with the money.

The other day when he was bringing up other ideas for the money I told him we should just set the money aside for now and decide what to do with it later. He actually agreed! So now he is researching options of where to park the money for a year. To me, this is a major step!

For instant gratification, we did re-do our front yard/walkway which gave us a bit of a boost while also taking care of a major project we needed to get done.

So, now we wait. I really do appreciate all your comments when I originally posted. I would be open to hearing any ideas on where to park the $ as well.

[cahabalily]

Thanks for the update! I think about this everytime I see your sig pic, but haven't wanted to ask outright....

Glad it's working out!

[Deleted]

For reference:

DH's inheritance - Do I have a say?posted at 2/19/2012 11:07:38 PM EST on thenest.com

luvmagoldn
Joined on 10/28/2006
Total posts: 1175
DH's mother passed away suddenly a few weeks ago. She was not married at the time of her death so her estate will be split between DH and his brother.

After funeral expenses have been deducted, DH and his brother will stand to inherit a fairly large sum of money (to us anyway). Almost half of the money is in an IRA so we will keep that in a retirement vehicle of some sort understanding the mandatory withdrawal issue that comes with it.

However, DH wants to spend the bulk of the balance on a once-in-a-lifetime fun purchase for himself. I want to pay off or greatly reduce our second mortgage balance (taken out at the time of purchase seven years ago to avoid PMI in a HCOL area).

If we had other financial obligations covered I would 100% support this purchase with this money. But I think we have other goals to reach before we consider something like this.

In the interest of full disclosure (well not completely full since this is a public message board), it is possible that I am feeling upset because I have spent all of my bonus for the last several years paying down debts. But bonus money and inheritance money aren't the same thing - or are they?

I feel terrible even typing this out because It makes me feel like I am greedy or jealous or not sensitive to the fact that this money came to him because his mother died.

So do I offer up my suggestions on possible ways to use the money (which I have done) then just let it go and support whatever he decides? Or do I try harder to influence the decision and run the risk of overstepping and/or having him resent me?

TIA

ETA: This got much longer than I intended. Thanks for reading it all if you did.

[Deleted]

And I think taking time to think is a great move too.

[vanillacourage]

I'm on the app, so picture me giving you the thumbs up icon.

[onomatopoeia]

That's great. Maybe in the end you guys can compromise and he can still get a once-in-a-lifetime-purchase, just something a bit cheaper than a Ferrari?

[evans]

I think that it's great that you're waiting a year before making a big decision.

[lizrd7579]

I'm glad to hear he's waiting to do anything with it. Hopefully he'll figure out that the Ferrari isn't the best investment decision.

[hanihani]

Thanks for the update. Glad that he agreed (decided) to sit on the $ for a bit before making any big decisions. Even if you end up with a car in the end, it will be a well thought out decision.

[Deleted]

My cousin bought a Lamborghini because he HAD to have it. He may have had enough money to buy a car like that (inheritance from G-pa), but didn't consider the costs of "upkeep." After about the 4th or 5th time the car needed repairs that were $5K plus, he decided it would be good to get rid of it. Unloading a Lamborghini isn't exactly the easiest thing to do. I hope your H comes around after parking the money for awhile and realizes that buying a super expensive item isn't the way to go...Good luck and I'm glad so far its looking good!

[katieb4tom]

I would have a lot of fun just thinking about all the different things I could do with it. I think that would almost trump pulling the trigger on an actual purchase for me!

[libbride]

Man, I've wanted a Ferrari since I was 12. You are stronger than I would be. But I'd probably buy an Astin Marin now.

[steph96]

I was actually wondering about that the other day. I'm glad to hear that he didn't rush into it.

[grk2012]

That seems really reasonable, good for him!

[luvmagoldn]

May 17, 2012 11:48:26 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

I remember your post from earlier this year, and YAY that dh is not rushing off to be silly with the money. Good for him, too. I don't have any ideas on where to park it, just congrats that he's sort of backing off from the wild purchase.
You might say things like "what do you think your mom would think you should do with this?" or "what can we do with it that would honor how hard your mom worked for this money?" or "if it was your mom making the decision, what do you think she'd want?" sort of things.

Thanks for the verbiage. I'm going to remember this when it comes time to discuss again.

[womet]

That's great!

[keh2oblue]

I remember your OP, and I'm glad your DH had a change of heart for the better.

[rubytue]

My boss would tell you that an older Ferrari isn't that expensive to buy, but the maintenance is a killer. He has a 24 year old Ferrari (and is very happy that this is the last year he has to try to pass emissions).

But, I'm glad he seems to have come around

[MixedBerryJam]

Regarding what to do with it while you sit on it ... keeping in mind that I am The. Most. Conservative. Investor. walking on the face of the earth, Ally Bank has consistently had the highest cd rates ... but check around, because no place has actually-good rates now. You'll get a higher rate with a longer term, and the penalty for cashing in a cd early is generally 3-6 months of interest, so it's pretty easy to calculate if taking the penalty on a longer term is worthwhile.

[luvmagoldn]

May 17, 2012 21:04:44 GMT -5 MixedBerryJam said:

Regarding what to do with it while you sit on it ... keeping in mind that I am The. Most. Conservative. Investor. walking on the face of the earth, Ally Bank has consistently had the highest cd rates ... but check around, because no place has actually-good rates now. You'll get a higher rate with a longer term, and the penalty for cashing in a cd early is generally 3-6 months of interest, so it's pretty easy to calculate if taking the penalty on a longer term is worthwhile.

Thanks - we will check this out!