WWYD about this family event?

[HoneySpider]

My cousin is having a party on Sat for his son who is making his confirmation. Most of my extended family will be there.

Party starts at 4pm and we live ~2.5 hours away. 

What would you do?

1. Drive up and back in the same day - get there around 4 and leave maybe 8ish (I have no idea on when food will be served, what time people are staying until, etc)

2. Drive up and then after the party drive to my brother & SIL's to stay overnight - this gives us a 3 hour ride home on Sunday, plus my brother will be gone early and my SIL and niece will still be sleeping by the time we leave, so really we're not spending any extra time with them, just crashing

3. Drive up and then after the party drive part of the way home and get a cheap-ish hotel. Could possibly tie it into a place where we'd want to spend a little time on Sunday before coming home. 

4. Don't go

DH & I have both been exhausted and stressed lately thanks to being busier than usual & not sleeping well. Normally I would just not go BUT my baby shower invites are going out soon and I feel like it's a dick move to not go to this event but then ask people to come to mine. (I don't see my extended family all that often) I know DH would be happy to not go, ha. I really don't care, it would be nice to see everyone of course but it would also be nice to not have to trek up there.

[katespade]

If you do go, which of the options sound the best to you? I would play it by ear, if that was an option. I would plan to do whichever option sounded best, but have a back-up just in case that didn't work out. Like, if you would ideally drive back home that night I would plan to do that, but talk to your brother/SIL about crashing at their place if the party ends up running late and you end up wanting to stay later and don't feel comfortable driving home.

[estrellita]

I hate driving long distances for the day so we usually stay overnight at my parents when we do family things. So personally I'd stay somewhere. I also hate paying for hotel rooms, but if you have the money and might make it into a mini vacation, that could be fun too. I think if it were me, I'd do #2.

[HoneySpider]

I probably should have mentioned that the plan all along, when we originally decided to go, was to stay at my brother & SIL's house.

But, after having them here last weekend and having an "episode" with them (they basically just run on their own weird ass schedule that disregards anyone else) I kind of don't feel like dealing with it. They keep my niece up until all hours of the night and then sleep until like noon. The last time we stayed over there DH & I were showered and had the car packed and ready to go and SIL and niece were still sleeping (my brother had left for work). It was like....do we just leave? Hang around and wait for them? We were about to go when SIL got up. Basically we don't want to spend half the day sitting around waiting for them to wake up (hence my comment that staying there would really just be having a place to sleep since it's probable we'd leave before they got up)

[HoneySpider]

As of right now, brother & SIL think we're coming to their house so it's definitely an option, I'm just not sure if I feel like doing it. It would be different if it was on our way home, not in the opposite direction.

[Deleted]

I'd personally go with #2.
We have a baptism to go to later this month that's 5h away and we're doing something along those lines.

ETA: Just saw your additional posts. I'm the type of person who would stick with the plan to stay but do what you're comfortable with.

[krystee]

I vote 3. I love road trips and mini vacations. Fine a cute spot, discover some new places, and have fun!

[amaranth]

I'd stick with staying at BIL's house and just do my own schedule in return. For one night it seems like an easy way to save money.

[spankswife]

Id go 4-630/7. How long can they expect you to stay w a 2.5 hr drive home?

You came, you saw, you brought a gift, you left. Everyone is happy.

[wanderingenough]

I'd just go and come back. Especially if I've been exhausted. I'd rather sleep in my own bed and have Sunday to relax at home.

[ewall]

#4. I have almost this exact same situation coming up. A wedding shower several hours away that starts at 5:30. I feel like I should go, but I have so many other wedding related events (plus I'm traveling long distance to actually attend their destination wedding) that I'm going to skip. Send a gift and call it good. You have a built-in (ha! literally!) excuse of pregnancy.

[pooh8402]

I would do #2, with the caveat that you're not waiting around for them to wake up. I've had houseguests leave my home before I've woken up, because they have their own schedule. And as long as it's agreed upon beforehand, it's all cool.

[melsamoony]

How annoyed are you with your brother and SIL? They kind of sways my decision.

How close are you to your cousin? If I was really close to him/her I would be more likely to make sacrifices to go.

If you guys are overly stressed/over tired I would probably skip this all together. Too much driving for too little of a payoff in terms of time spent with family. Your pending baby shower invites shouldn't be met with any raised eyebrows or questions when received if you don't go. Things happen...you are from out of town and can't go to all events. Only maybe 1 or 2 of my cousins were able to come to my shower but it didn't bother me. They live 5 hours away and we are all busy. They still love me...so no worries if you can't go to something it doesn't change how people feel about you.

[luv2rn4fun]

Ditto ewall in that you have a perfectly valid excuse not to go being pregnant and it's a long day...exactly why we didn't go to Easter; however, not everyone was understanding but that's on them

I usually try to make a weekend out if these things so if you decide to go I would either stay with your brother and leave on your timeline on Sunday. Or you can always cut the event short and leave early so you aren't getting home too late. Closeness to cousin would matter too. .if not overly close I would have zero problem skipping.

As for baby shower invites...it shouldn't matter if you attend or not. Also, some might just send a gift since you guys aren't local...that would n it bother me one bit. I hate having people drive and go so far out if their way for family events (probably because I am usually having to drive as well, even for my own events, an it's annoying).

[Blue Moon]

I'd go and come back the same day given the circumstances with your BIL/SIL and their weird schedule. I'd always rather sleep in my own bed if it's an option. Maybe I'd leave the party a little early depending on what was going on.

[MrsMB]

Apr 4, 2016 6:38:31 GMT -5 Blue Moon said:

I'd go and come back the same day given the circumstances with your BIL/SIL and their weird schedule. I'd always rather sleep in my own bed if it's an option. Maybe I'd leave the party a little early depending on what was going on.

This. 

I would normally vote to stay but their schedule sounds weird....

[HoneySpider]

I'll see if I remember all the questions before my coffee kicks in...

Relationship with brother/SIL is normally fine (hence the reason we originally planned to stay with them) but I'm still a little ticked by what they pulled last weekend.

Not super close to my cousin, but part of that has to do with the fact that we have always been "left out" of family functions like this because we were always too far away to go (Being 2.5 hours away is close now) So I already feel like the oddball.

My family won't really be traveling for my shower since it's not here, it's by my mom. Almost all of them live within 1.5 hours of her. I'm the one traveling to go there.

I still haven't decided what to do and I need to make up my mind soon. I'm leaning toward just going and coming back but I think DH is worried about being tired coming home. If the party was earlier in the day that would be my decision hands down.

[luv2rn4fun]

I am leaning towards "don't go" given the update. What would cousin do if the situation was reverse? I know it doesn't really matter and shouldn't help make your decision but that's a lot for you to do, esoeciall being tired and pregnant.

[bk1]

If it were me, I wouldn't go.


I don't know if that is the "right" decision, but I tend to back out of things a lot family related anyway.. and counting for the drive and all I know I would end up skipping.

[katiek]

I would stay in a hotel somewhere fun if you can swing it financially, but not then I would stay with family like you planned. I often skip out on things and then regret it, so I vote that you should go as long as you're not super opposed.

[macmars45]

In your situation, I'd either head home same day or stay with not family.

I'm headed 2.5 hours away to my baby shower (in my hometown) on the 9th. H is coming and we're going home same day. If I wasn't so far along in my pregnancy (I'll be 36 weeks next Saturday), we'd stay the night. However, we don't want to risk me going into labor that far from our home so we'll drive 5 hours in one day instead. And my bag is packed/car seat installed just in case. My mom wanted to plan the baby shower for 37 or 38 weeks (because it's more convenient for her.... uh no. Not happening).

[HoneySpider]

Since I know everyone is waiting on my decision....

We're going to go up and come home the same night. I talked to my mom the other day and she's not staying real late either - she's driving my aunt and uncle and they have an almost 2 hour ride so she wants to leave while there is still some daylight. We're going to get there right around 4 and then probably just leave whenever they do.

[bk1]

Sounds like a good decision. It's good that you are making the effort to go!

[luv2rn4fun]

Apr 6, 2016 8:23:25 GMT -5 HoneySpider said:

Since I know everyone is waiting on my decision....

We're going to go up and come home the same night. I talked to my mom the other day and she's not staying real late either - she's driving my aunt and uncle and they have an almost 2 hour ride so she wants to leave while there is still some daylight. We're going to get there right around 4 and then probably just leave whenever they do.

I have checked this thread many times waiting for this update

Good decision!  Hope you guys have a wonderful time and the drive isn't too bad!

[HoneySpider]

After all the hemming and hawing we're not even going to go It's been snowing/wintry mix here all morning and snowing more heavily up there and with the freeze warnings for tonight, we're worried about driving home in the dark with ice/snow. So we're going to stay home. When I talked to my mom this morning I know she was also worried about us driving. Doesn't seem worth the risk.

Of course, since we decided to go, now I'm a little bummed about missing out. Can't win

[wanderingenough]

Maybe you can make it a fun night in with junk food and movies?

[HoneySpider]

Apr 9, 2016 11:45:03 GMT -5 wanderingenough said:

Maybe you can make it a fun night in with junk food and movies?

Yeah we are already having a pretty lazy day and it's great! Watching tv/baseball and we just ordered pizza since we didn't have anything planned for dinner (we went all out with breadsticks and dessert so we can nibble all day/night). It's really relaxing which is perfect right now! I kind of don't feel bad anymore

[bk1]

I'm glad you could turn it into a fun day for the two of you!