It's "The Olds" but I feel Young

[childofhiphop]

Just needed to say that.

I have a few aches and pains but I feel like my life is in a good place at near 50. I'm happy to talk to others my age about topics! Work/career, hobbies, travel, etc.

I'd like to post more too. I can't at work. But I'll jump in more.

[sfy]

One thing about aging that has always stuck with me is something Suze Orman said when she was denying a caller a trip to Europe during the "Can I Afford It?" segment. The woman was turning some milestone age, maybe 60, and said she wanted to take the trip before she was too old to enjoy it. Suze told her that we get older, but inside, you never really age in terms of personality. I keep waiting to "feel" older, but it never happens. It's going to be weird as hell feeling 22 when I'm 77 but such is life, I suppose.

[flex]

I think that's the hardest part of getting older. You still feel like a youngster, but your body (jiggly) and face in the mirror show otherwise. I wish I could just get used to looking into the mirror without cringing. lol

[mrsukyankee]

I keep thinking I should be able to do the stuff I did when I was younger but my body betrays my age (and all the stupidity of youth spent well/hard). And I wish I could go out and stay out until 7am but, nope, not happening. I know I feel like I should be 25, but I'm not. Sigh.

[mortomo]

I also have a hard time wrapping my head around my numerical age because my mind still thinks I'm young. It kind of blows my mind.

[Pom]

There is nothing wrong with feeling young. Keep that mindset. Giving in/giving up is certainly not the answer
My parents are turning 80 and refuse to accept their age limitations, despite some pretty debilitating ailments. I admire them so much.

[flex]

You know what? I didn't start feeling "old" until I started posting on the ML on TN. I was an older bride than a lot of the women there. Then tonif and amber started calling me "grandma" and I got all kinds of insults and innuendos helped on my head. And that was TEN YEARS AGO! I was just a pup then. lol

It really did make me feel bad though.

[Pom]

Apr 11, 2016 13:30:03 GMT -5 HRH Queen Dick I, Orphan said:

I was such a hot mess when I was young so I really don't have nostalgia for it. Lol.

I can't remember a ton about my 20's and that's probably for the best. I am so thrilled FB was not a thing, because even when I see old photos hidden away of myself drunk and thinking I'm the shit, I want to crawl under a rock.  

[mortomo]

Apr 11, 2016 13:53:37 GMT -5 Pom said:

Apr 11, 2016 13:30:03 GMT -5 HRH Queen Dick I, Orphan said:

I was such a hot mess when I was young so I really don't have nostalgia for it. Lol.

I can't remember a ton about my 20's and that's probably for the best. I am so thrilled FB was not a thing, because even when I see old photos hidden away of myself drunk and thinking I'm the shit, I want to crawl under a rock.  

I thank God that you had to pay to have pictures developed back when I was in my early 20's!  I can only imagine what kinds of pictures my friends would have had posted on Facebook if it existed back then.

I'm sure my DS would have found them hilarious and disturbing!

[sweetcheeks]

Sally Field is interviewed in this month's AARP magazine. She actually addresses this very issue. She said she'll be walking down a street in NYC and gets a mental image of herself at 25, then realizes she's not 25, but forgets how old she really is (she's 69!). "You forget because inside you stay the same."

I never think I'm as old as I am. I don't even see an 'old, fat woman' in a mirror. Somehow, I still see a young, thin woman. Until I see a picture of myself. And then I'm horrified.

I was just as horrified when I realized I'm the same age as the characters in "The Golden Girls."

[TBM]

I don't feel young, but I don't feel old either.   I really like this board, but I really dislike the name.

The most freeing thing for me was to realize that just because someone thinks a certain age is old, it doesn't mean that they are right.   It is not the number, it's not the number of wrinkles (or lack thereof), it is the individual that determines that.  I have known people who were 90 and didn't seem old, and others who were 50 and seemed ancient.  

My attitude is that this is the age that I am, so this is what it looks like and this is what it feels like.  On my birthday, the number may change, but I am only one day older than I was the day before...just like every other day.

I told my sister that I just think of old as always being five years older than I am.  She thought that sounded like a great way to look at it until she realized that she is five years older than me.

[dorothyinAus]

I've always felt young. I think not having kids helps with that. I don't have to grow up and do adulty stuff if I don't want to. I still enjoy the things I enjoyed as a child -- bubbles and crayons are especially fun for me. I love that coloring is more mainstream, but I wish adult coloring books had bigger spaces to color because I prefer crayons to colored pencils or markers.

When I graduated from high school, I was asked what I wanted most from the the future. I replied that I wanted to be able to always maintain the sense of wonder and joy I had as a child. I think I've done well.

[Deleted]

Apr 10, 2016 19:47:06 GMT -5 @stalkermom said:

Apr 10, 2016 19:31:52 GMT -5 flex said:

I think that's the hardest part of getting older. You still feel like a youngster, but your body (jiggly) and face in the mirror show otherwise. I wish I could just get used to looking into the mirror without cringing. lol

When my mom died last year we found a journal that she kept back in the early eighties when she was about 60 with a lot of haiku. Your post made me think of this one-

Face in the mirror
You smile when I smile and yet
I don't think you're me.

I might just print your mom's haiku and stick it on my mirror. That is beautiful and succinct in its truth. I'm still me under these wrinkles and silver hair. BTW my hair started turning grey in my 30s. Around age 50 I tired of coloring it every month. So I had it chopped off, think man short, and went with the silvery grey. I've never gotten as many compliments on my hair as now. A small bonus for getting older, I guess!!

[Shreddingbetty]

So I'm 43 but I don't feel like it. I used to be a good tennis player but then quit about 14 years ago when I got divorced and was just done with exercise (XH was an still is a total exercise addict); so about a year ago I decided it was time to pick up my raquet again after 13 years and after doing the ball machine a couple of times I thought it was a really good idea to just start hitting with a 21y/o guy college player. All went well the first time other than I was really sore but a week later that was better....or so I thought. The second time we played it tore my calf muscle after about 5 minutes. It really sucked because the hitting was going pretty well and I could keep up with him but the running back and forth was a bad idea after so many years of not playing. So I couldn't play all summer and when he was back this fall I started playing with him again because im smart like that (he is cute and French so who can blame me). My torn calf has been fine but my other one is sort of acting up here and there and it is interfering with what I want to do at least at the level I want to (I want to start running again too, but at least I can walk). My head says I can just go back to playing and exercising like I did 15 years ago but unfortunately my body begs to differ dammit. I guess I just have to go slowly in order to hopefully get back up to speed.

[mrsukyankee]

Shreddingbetty , yup. It stinks because from this point forward, injuries pop up more quickly. I just can't react the same way I used to when I was even in my 30s...so I'm going to end up playing lower and lower levels of field hockey. The only reason I can still stay at the level I'm at is due to having so much experience, I can get my teammates to do what I want (I'm goalie so I yell a lot and direct the defence) in a way that many other goalies can't (as they are 20 somethings and don't feel they know how to direct people yet), so we play better. I miss some shots that perhaps I would have gotten when younger but it all evens out with experience. Hopefully, your experience level and being fit will help you stay at a good level.

[spindle92]

The only time I really feel old is when I go to the library at the local community college. I take classes online from an out of state school but when I go to the school library up the road, yes I feel old.

[Gato]

I do feel old. I don't feel young anymore, inside or out, but is that a bad thing? I'm in a totally different place than I was at 30, and actually it is a much better place. No, I don't have youthful beauty or a young body anymore, but my life has been pretty full and awesome, and I'm okay with winding down a bit now. My days are filled with more joy and appreciation than I had when I was 25 and beset with angst.

[penelope]

I didn't feel old until I started taking classes. I had to take a freshman level class because it wasn't even a thought 20 years ago when I started. I've never felt so old as listening to 18 year olds' opinions on the world. Then I realize I'm old enough for anyone in that room to be my kid. I always leave class depressed.

[dorothyinAus]

Apr 15, 2016 21:50:37 GMT -5 penelope said:

I didn't feel old until I started taking classes. I had to take a freshman level class because it wasn't even a thought 20 years ago when I started. I've never felt so old as listening to 18 year olds' opinions on the world. Then I realize I'm old enough for anyone in that room to be my kid. I always leave class depressed.

My younger brother is taking a Modern European History class (post World War II, but focusing more on the post Cold War era).  He was telling me he has had some group assignments and one of the girls in the groups asked him "How do you know so much?"  He replied "I lived it."  He is constantly complaining to me how old the class makes him feel and he's only 37!

[mrsukyankee]

Apr 15, 2016 21:50:37 GMT -5 penelope said:

I didn't feel old until I started taking classes. I had to take a freshman level class because it wasn't even a thought 20 years ago when I started. I've never felt so old as listening to 18 year olds' opinions on the world. Then I realize I'm old enough for anyone in that room to be my kid. I always leave class depressed.

There are a few girls on my field hockey team who could easily be my kid due to their age.  Sad.

[sfy]

Apr 11, 2016 19:39:12 GMT -5 TBM said:

I don't feel young, but I don't feel old either.   I really like this board, but I really dislike the name.

The most freeing thing for me was to realize that just because someone thinks a certain age is old, it doesn't mean that they are right.

I think the only reason to think this way is if you think there is something wrong with being old.

And objectively, yes, certain ages are old. We know the average lifespan. If you're closer to the end of the average life than to the beginning, you're old. But I don't see that as a bad thing. It's life.

[TBM]

Apr 16, 2016 6:36:22 GMT -5 sfy said:

Apr 11, 2016 19:39:12 GMT -5 TBM said:

I don't feel young, but I don't feel old either.   I really like this board, but I really dislike the name.

The most freeing thing for me was to realize that just because someone thinks a certain age is old, it doesn't mean that they are right.

I think the only reason to think this way is if you think there is something wrong with being old.

And objectively, yes, certain ages are old. We know the average lifespan. If you're closer to the end of the average life than to the beginning, you're old. But I don't see that as a bad thing. It's life.

I have never seen the world in absolutes, so it goes to follow that I think there is a lot of life that happens between young and old, and don't really understand why one has to identify as one or the other. 

I don't see getting older as a bad thing, but to me, the term old is more like a final destination...well, the one before the actual final destination.  It is not a bad destination, but I don't think I earned the title yet, and I plan to take my time getting there.  

Even as a kid, the only people that I truly thought of as old were the people who either very old and clearly reaching the end of their lives, or the people who acted like that was where they were, even if they were not that old and were not on their way out.   My mom is almost 87, and even though my father's death 8 yrs ago took it's toll on her, it is just in the last couple of years she has become an old woman.   She is not on at deaths door or anything (knock on wood), but all of the family has commented on how 'she just got old', so maybe it is the way we look at it.  We've had a lot of family that lived well into their 80s and 90s and didn't seem old/elderly until their last years, so I guess that is where we all got our definition of old.

I guess it bothered me a lot that people had these perceptions that ages like 30,35,40, whatever,  were old.  People would complain about the age like their life was going to end, or people had such misconceptions about what an age was or looked like, that they would gush about how I didn't look or seem 'that old'.   I was both flattered and puzzled that they thought that people my age should look a certain way or that turning forty meant that a walker was waiting around the corner.  When I started questioning them, I found a lot of fear and preconceived ideas of what was normal for getting older, and even resignation.  What I meant by it being freeing was that it was when I stopped listening to the nonsense and started showing by example that getting older doesn't mean that you have to stop being who you are that I felt more comfortable in my skin.

[Mrs.Rad888]

Apr 15, 2016 21:50:37 GMT -5 penelope said:

I didn't feel old until I started taking classes. I had to take a freshman level class because it wasn't even a thought 20 years ago when I started. I've never felt so old as listening to 18 year olds' opinions on the world. Then I realize I'm old enough for anyone in that room to be my kid. I always leave class depressed.

After I retired from the Navy, I went to school on the VA's dime. The community college here has a program with the high school that high-achievers can take some classes at the college instead of the HS, then when they graduate with their HS diploma, they also have their associates degree. So, not only was I taking classes with recent HS grads, I was taking classes with HS juniors and seniors. I was especially fun when I could tell the kids that the clothing they thought was so cool and fashion-forward was basically the same stuff I was wearing in HS. I also liked shocking them when I said something that showed that I didn't spend all my years having and raising kids, I actually had a pretty awesome life and did all kinds of cool things.
I know kids like to think they invented everything fun and cool, but we know that they are wrong. Also, they are not the first to discover kinky sex.

[FormerlyRR]

Apr 11, 2016 11:08:46 GMT -5 mortomo said:

I also have a hard time wrapping my head around my numerical age because my mind still thinks I'm young. It kind of blows my mind.

Yes, I still have to stop and think about how old I am. I'm lucky some days to use the right checkbox on a form.

[mortomo]

Apr 18, 2016 0:08:49 GMT -5 FormerlyRR said:

Apr 11, 2016 11:08:46 GMT -5 mortomo said:

I also have a hard time wrapping my head around my numerical age because my mind still thinks I'm young. It kind of blows my mind.

Yes, I still have to stop and think about how old I am. I'm lucky some days to use the right checkbox on a form.

Yes on the checkbox!  I always have to think about it.  Also, being 46, the age ranges on a lot of forms start at 45 and I forget that I'm over 45 sometimes!