For Bimbi - big disappointments

[Deleted]

DH is watching football, so you will probably be seeing a lot of posts from me, lol.

What was a really disappointing or negative experience for you, and how did it turn out?

I had two really, really shitty job experiences in a row. I was working at a nice law firm in the suburbs practicing family law and was happy, but wanted to make a lot of $$$. I left that job to go work for a prestigious family law firm in the city. I was so excited about the huge pay increase and the complexity of the work. I'll call this firm A. It turned out that firm A was a nightmare, and I was the third attorney they had in that position in four years. The best way I can describe the job is that it was like working for the boss in A Devil Wears Prada. The egos, ridiculous and unreasonable demands, etc were just ridiculous. After about 9 months it got to the point where I would cry when I got home from work because it was so miserable, so I started job searching. I also knew that firm A was engaged in a really nasty lawsuit against them by a former partner, but didn't know or really want to know the details. It was very hush hush at the office.

I lined up an interview with firm B. While researching firm B prior to the interview, I found out that they are the firm representing the former partner in the nasty suit against firm A (and then felt very suspicious about their motivation to interview me). Two days later I was fired from firm A for no reason, and I'm convinced it was because they heard about my job search (I was aggressively looking and was to the point where I didn't give a shit if they found out) and most likely because of this particular interview.

I canceled the interview with firm B, and had something lined up right away since I'd been job searching for a few months. We'll call this firm C.

Well, I was at firm C for 9 months, and all but one paycheck bounced. I won't even go into all of the crazy shit, but basically the partners have no business running a firm and everything was so sloppy. I've never seen such horrible disorganization and can't believe these attorneys don't receive constant bar complaints for all the shit that goes on.

At that point my thought was screw working for crazy people, I'm going out on my own. I started working with a marketing consultant and planning my exit. It was scary as shit since my family relies on my income, and I'm not sure if I would have ever done it had I not experienced working for two horrible firms.

I've been solo now for a year and LOVE it. I did all of the planning and work ahead of time to make sure I hit the ground running and made money from the get go. I have amazing flexibility and don't have to answer to anyone but my cilents. I also am able to focus on the types of cases that I want to take, and about half of my practice is adoption and the other half is divorce and custody. I didn't have the freedom to focus so much on adoption when working for other people.

Working for those two firms was a really, really low point in my life and career. I felt so trapped and unhappy. As much as it sucked, I'm glad that I went through it because it gave me the push to start my own firm and get to a place in my career where I'm very happy.

What is a big disappointment or challenging experience that you went through?

[fashionx]

I have a super long job story, but don't feel like going into the details. I'll sum it up by saying that basically I thought I was in a dream job out of school, and it turned out to be horrible. I stuck with it at first because I thought I loved most of it, but by 3 years in and many changes later within the business, and seeing the owner's true colors, I knew I needed to get out. The last year of it was spent stressed, crying, and applying for/interviewing for other jobs to try and leave. It ended finally, weeks before when I had almost quit (without another job lined up), and I could just tell by what was going on that she was going to let me go. So with the support of [now] DH, I waited it out and got let go. I didn't feel bad about it since I knew it was coming, and I knew ultimately it was giving me the opportunity to start my own business, which I was already taking steps towards doing. It was a good crutch to have the unemployment as a backup though in the beginning, but I found I didn't need it very long as I landed 2 part-time jobs in my field to help supplement my freelance work. So although I had to suffer awhile there, I'm glad I stuck through and was able to find better work, and thus a better life.

A semi-related thing to Bimbi's test, I failed horribly the math entrance exam for grad school. Because of my non-traditional (but still accredited) program in fashion design for undergrad, I had to test in math because my classes weren't of the normal variety so they couldn't just use the credits. The first time around, I totally bombed it, which sucked because I felt pretty confident about it going in. I got something like a 50%. Ouch. Not even close. Second go around, I studied a lot, and I got 100%.

[bethaboo]

I have a test taking experience and I have a currently-going-through experience.

During the last school year, I wanted to give myself a competitive edge by adding an endorsement to my teaching license. I talked to my principal about which test to take and she told me to take the math test because math teachers are the most in demand in our area (after science, which I can't teach). So I signed up for the test, told everyone I was taking it and then failed by four points. The silver lining (and the lead in to my even bigger disappointment) is that, I found out from my principal that math teachers took the biggest hits when it came time to cut staffing this summer so it wouldn't have done me any good anyways.

This summer, our district cut 10% of teachers due to major financial concerns. I have worked for the district for two years, but both years as a temporary, which gives me almost no seniority. I worked really hard all last year to establish good relationships within the district and, if not for such massive cuts, would probably have a full time teaching job this year. As it stands, I will be subbing. I am grateful to have a job, but feel let down that circumstances are so out of my control and am looking at another fairly stressful financial year.

ETA: To end on a positive note, my sub cards are super cute and my husband, at least, has a really good job so we'll survive.

[315bride]

Besides the story I shared about failing my professional exam the first time, the fellowship I just got... I applied last year, made it as a finalist, and got rejected. I applied again this year knowing I was an even stronger candidate and got accepted this time.

I've been rejected by countless other awards and professional distinctions. One was because I was overqualified ?!??! Whatevs. My current fellowship rocks them all.

I was rejected by what I thought was my first college choice. Ultimately, they weren't a good fit. Later on, they became one of my clients and wrote a personal letter of praise to my boss.

I was also rejected by my HS crush. He later got my college dorm phone number from my HS sweetheart to apologize about how he had treated me and tell me that he thought of me often. We eventually became pen pals, traveled together, and are still friends today, decades after he dissed me. I never let him live that shit down.

[bellasposa223]

All through school, middle school and high school, I always did poorly on tests including midterms, finals and regents. Sometimes I would fail by one point and there was nothing I could do. It was always so upsetting to me as to why this happened because I studied my butt off for days in order to do well. As it turns out, it's because I have learning disabilities. I have short term memory loss and test anxiety, so combind the two and it's no bueno. To this day, the memory loss affects me daily and it's frustrating.

[bimbi284]

Well you all know my latest disappointment, which is probably my biggest, so all I have to add is that I love you all!!

Thanks so much for sharing! It really is helping me put all of this shit into perspective :-).

[melaniesc]

I'd like to call my my toughest challenge, but with a happy ending. DH and I had a very difficult time trying to have our first child. Once we started trying it took us 6 mos. for me to get pregnant, and when I did I miscarried. I was heartbroken and frustrated because we found out that our crap insurance wouldn't let us see a specialist or anything unless we went an entire year without conceiving again. Flashforward 1 year and I still wasn't pregnant. Went thru insurance and made an appt. with a specialist. As soon as I did this, I found out I was pregnant again. Yet again, miscarried. I was devastated, thinking something was wrong w/ me that I couldn't hold a pregnancy. Went to a specialist: did IUI twice and had a chemical pregnancy. Finally I said screw it and told my dr. to just head straight to IVF. I knew it was really our last shot and by some miracle we got pregnant on the first round of treatment and had our first daughter. But it took us 2 years to conceive and was the hardest experience ever.
When it came to TTC our 2nd child we went to our specialist right away. Did one round of IVF that didn't work and by some miracle the very next month we got pregnant naturally!! All in we'd only TTC'd for 3 months for our 2nd child, which is also a beautiful girl.

[Deleted]

Sept 1, 2012 18:46:52 GMT -5 carrotsmakemefat said:

I have a "devil wears prada" type job now. I have a high maintenance very high ranking military officer that I work for....well, very demanding may be a better way to put it. I am on call 24/7. I am doing work well above my pay grade, but they won't even give me the confirmation in writing for my file...the job market within the government is stable, but not growing and there aren't many jobs out there. Anyway, I am stressed the hell out, snap at the ones I love, and don't handle the stress well.

My week included 7 MUST HAVE THESE NOW emergencies, normally something that would be developed over time, an accusation of sexual harassment against one of my employees (that I couldn't technically write up because they don't want to pay me for supervising despite the fact that I am supervising), and people that want to turn my branding/marketing products into jargon and encyclopedias.

I need a vacation so badly...I saved it all year knowing my grandma is going to pass soon...a second mother to me. And I feel guilty as fuck BC I wonder how I will take time off to go to her funeral or mourn her death. A huge project comes up and I think...please hang in there a little more Granny....how Fed up is that???

Despite a certain level of success for my age, I also have panic attacks about turning 30 and not owning a home....having 1 divorce under my belt, wondering when the time is right to re-marry at all, and the biological'pressure of wanting a baby. I live in HCOL, in a tiny condo and feel like I am stalled.

Since I have been hating life lately, thanks for letting me vent

Aw, I'm sorry Carrots That is the type of demanding shit I dealt with at my old job, and it's just all consuming and so stressful. I hope you end up finding something different. Weren't you considering moving to Augusta?

I bought a house at 28 and it was a huge mistake since I bought while the market was hot. I lost $80k when I eventually sold, and I wish I had waited until I was 30 to buy!!

[Deleted]

Pepino, I feel both sad and angry reading that. I majored in education but chose to not become a teacher because of all the horror stories I hear. I'm also so sorry about your IF problems. I have IF issues, too, but didn't have the balls to do any treatment partly because I honestly don't know that I could handle it emotionally.

[pepino627]

Sept 3, 2012 16:51:02 GMT -5 @godawgs said:

Pepino, I feel both sad and angry reading that. I majored in education but chose to not become a teacher because of all the horror stories I hear. I'm also so sorry about your IF problems. I have IF issues, too, but didn't have the balls to do any treatment partly because I honestly don't know that I could handle it emotionally.

Thanks for your kind words, dawgs. IF treatments were difficult.. I dont even know how I did it. My DH was awesome though. Always supportive and had a shoulder to cry on.

As far as teaching, it sucks. there other way around it. tomorrow I am going to an interview, where I am telling the truth for the first time about my termination in lieu of resignation drama. We will see how that works out.

I am still in the teaching profesion b.c we are adopting. So, we need all the moula we can muster for it. I am sure you know all about that one. Your LO is adorable, BTW.

[Deleted]

Yay for adopting!!!!! I'm really excited for you! Are you with an agency? Yeah, I totally know about the money factor. We used pretty much our entire savings adopting DS (which included an expensive 19 day stay in Las Vegas traveling from GA). We want another but don't have that big budget yet to do it a second time, so we decided to get licensed as a foster home after the holidays. I'm super excited. We hope that it will lead to another adoption, but if it doesn't, it will be something rewarding and fulfilling to do until we are financially prepared to adopt again.

Good luck at tomorrow's interview!!! Let us know how it goes!

[photon]

Sept 3, 2012 16:21:00 GMT -5 pepino627 said:

I was made to resign in lieu of terminiation as a result of insufficient test scores. I am a special ed teacher. My kids are eligible for a variety of different reasons but are expected to pass a state test at their grade level....but they are special education students which most of the times means they cant read at their own grade level let alone take a test and pass it!!! And yet, it was my fault.

They made me do this in March but I was expected to be a normal teacher who loved her job unitl the last day of school in june.... far from. I hated every minute of that entire year. Before March, I was made to put together all this documentation to please my asshole principall... but that meant nothing because we both knew what she was gearing up for. I hated all those administrators and was suspicious of everyone. I was paranoid about what to say and who to say it to b/c it was going to be twisted against my favor somehow someway.

It just plain sucked. I hated the fact that I had a teaching degree for a long time and as a special eduction teacher, I can not perform mircales. If the students have a memory issue with a low IQ and are expected to take and pass a standardized test... and they dont, the admin think of it as the teacher's fault. I worked so hard to accomodate my students and make sure I met their needs...and yet, all they ever cared about was the test scores. It was the worst time in my life.

In the same school year, we did our final round of ivf and was told my eggs were suspected to be bad. Compound that with the BS that my bitch principal was putting me though, I went through a depression that I am now slowly recovering from. But I still have plenty of trust issues of coworkers and admin and resentment of those who can get knocked up so easily...which is why I have deleted my FB account ..5 friends have had babies in the last month. Its better now, thank goodness. getting through one day at a time...and enjoying a new house in a new state. It was good to leave my home state to start off new. That was the best thing that ever happened to us.

this makes me absolutely bat-shit irate! i also work with children with disabilities, and i can't even imagine how challenging/rewarding/difficult/amazing it must be to be a special education teacher. you clearly were in the wrong district; they did not value what you are able to bring to the table. there are sadly a lot of bad school districts out there in terms of special education

[bimbi284]

Just saw this on Pinterest and felt it was appropriate for this thread:



Much love ladies!

[Deleted]

Sept 3, 2012 23:14:43 GMT -5 bimbi284 said:

Just saw this on Pinterest and felt it was appropriate for this thread:



Much love ladies!

That is awesome!!!!

[maucat]

I had to think about it for a while, but remembered one of my biggest disappointments. So, I graduated college with a 2.91 GPA because I figured out I could cram at the last minute and pass the multiple-choice BS scantron tests, so I didn't put in much effort (plus lots of emotional stuff, including feeling like I was going to have a nervous breakdown at one point). I knew I wanted to be a therapist, so a year or two out of college I started applying to Masters programs, with the intention of eventually going on to get a doctoral degree, preferably a PsyD.

I applied to two different schools in my city and even got an interview at one of them. I was also applying to schools for dance & movement therapy and was upset when I was unable to apply to Pratt, intimidated by the essays at another school, and frustrated by Drexel. I never applied to Pratt or the school in Cambridge and gave up on my Drexel application (even though I'd had a movement audition!) when they lost almost everything I sent them. SO...my hopes were all pinned on the two in-area schools. I received rejection letters from both. This led to lots of crying, frustration that I knew what I wanted to do with my life but wasn't able to do it because they wouldn't let me into a program to learn it. I gave up for a while, in a way.

Eventually, I reapplied, this time to a professional school. Started there roughly 4 years after graduating college. Never got anything lower than an A-, graduated with distinction and a 3.91 GPA. When I look back, I realize that I probably wasn't ready to become a therapist back then. The extra time, the disappointment, all of it, helped make me a better person and therapist. It was hard enough starting out 4 years ago looking as young as I look! I can't imagine starting even younger. And now I wouldn't trade it for the world, even though life would've looked very different.

[pepino627]

Sept 3, 2012 23:14:43 GMT -5 bimbi284 said:

Just saw this on Pinterest and felt it was appropriate for this thread:



Much love ladies!

:Y: :Y: