I like you too, pdx, and I wasn't even thinking of you with my post. I think my incredulity was more with the couple of folks who've posted recently about realizing that they were unhappy and never really in their marriages but proceeded to get pregnant and/or buy homes anyway. That, to me, really does not compute.
Clearly, we all made choices that weren't ultimately right that's why we're here.
File me in the category of one of the ones who got pregnant when I knew deep down things weren't right.
Why did I do it? It's complicated is all I can say.
The reasons that I married XH were all not the right ones. some of them I won't get into here because they are pretty private.
I was certainly INCREDIBLY physically attracted to XH, but there was no emotional connection and we had difficulty communicating. I was not confident in my ability to be alone, I had low self esteem, and I honestly though XH was the best I could get. I also had resigned myself to the fact that we were married so I was going to make the best of it. And he really, really, really wanted a baby. We had about a year where things were definitely better between us, and so all of those factors went into my decision to have a child with him. Was it a good decision, no, obviously. IN hindsight I realized he was waiting for me to get pregnant before he really let the douche show, and then thought I would never leave.
But I don't for a second regret my decision. P is the best thing that ever happened to me.
Yeah, when we bought our house, I was thinking in the back of my mind that at least I could afford it by myself if something happened.
I'm also one of the ones who didn't have a good reason to break up, and that's how we ended up married. How we ended up staying married for 7 years is another story, lol.
I was very much in love with XH and attracted to XH. I just also ignored all of the red flags. Getting pregnant with DS was an accident, but I would not change it for anything. If I had to go through all of that again to have DS, I would do it without question.