So proud of me

[bookworm85]

I talked to my stxh twice both times he was screaming blaming me for our marriage falling apart. He was telling me how he could see him and the other woman being together for life. Instead of arguing back with him, I did something better I was calm. I congratulated him on his new found romance. I was so calm I shocked myself. He didn't know what to say ;D. The more calm I was the more angrier he sounded. This went on for a hour. I finally ended it with I love you and will probably love you for a long time but I got to move on with my life. I can not let this continue to ruin my life. It's my time and hung up IT FELT SO FREAKING GOOD!!!!!!!

[Deleted]

That was really good that you were so kept together and didn't let his hatefulness and anger get to you. Alot of time I believe ex's want to make the other person feel like crap and rub their new found partners in their ex's face to make themselves feel good/better. Your being calm showed him that he couldn't get you and it probably pissed him off that you weren't a crying mess. I am proud of you that you were able to make the best out of a shitty phone call and turned it right around on him.

[bookworm85]

Thanks geeka, I was so tired of crying while he carried on with his new life. I was done at that moment. So instead of arguing which would lead to crying spells, anxiety, and depression. I choose to take a different route and I'm happy I did.

[bookworm85]

Thanks dark angel trust it was not easy it was so hard especially after he told me if he would have met her before he met me we would have been a couple. I was like ok and I sorry it didn't happen like that. I stayed so calm. Like i mentioned in earlier post I am tired of being depressed lonely and crying all the time. I want some happiness in my life I deserve that. I won't let him take that from me any more.

[bookworm85]

I do now lol but 3 months ago. I was a horrible mess. I felt so ugly, low, and horrible about myself. It took prayer for me to finally just let go. Up until that point I was so focus on handling everything on my own till I had anxiety attack. It was rough but thank god it's better now

[BlueBayou]

It had to have felt good to hear him flip out while you had a sense of calm.over you. Can I ask why you even need to talk tohim and for an hr??

[BlueBayou]

How is he so mad at the marriage being over/falling apart and soo happy to have the OW at the same time?? Sounds like he is full of crap!

[explorer2001]

Sept 2, 2012 8:11:13 GMT -5 mintchocochip said:

Sept 2, 2012 1:55:55 GMT -5 BlueBayou said:

It had to have felt good to hear him flip out while you had a sense of calm.over you. Can I ask why you even need to talk tohim and for an hr??

Agreed. Good for you but WHY are you engaging him for an hour??

That's exactly my question.

[bookworm85]

To be honest ladies I don't why I carried on with him for a hour. I guess I felt I needed to let him say what was on his mind. We do not talk at all. I guess part of me wanted closure to see if moving forward is the right decision and I feel it is. I can moved forward because I am done. My main and most important focus is finding employment.

[bookworm85]

Lol ^^^ I should have done that but I know my ex he would have felt like he won the battle. So for me to ignore him and not care it was tearing him up. I mean he was screaming cussing and hollering. Here I am cool as a fan and he was pissed lol.

[stephbfan]

I think is great you got to a point where you are calm even though he is trying to be hurtful.

Now you have to remember that you are not with him anymore and there is no reason for you to put up with that. If he yells at you again, you tell him that you will not tolerate that and that he should speak to you when he can be civil.

Also, try to only communicate with him via email. It easier to get all worked up in a phone conversation than on an email. If he ever sends you a hurtful email, sleep on it and answer it in 2-3 days, if there is a need for a answer. If not then just ignore him. He will hopefully get tired of it.