Can I make a feminist rant?

[cricketwife]

I think if you tell them your daughter is the reason , it's kind of fair game . I'd stick with , "I've got an appointment and need to reschedule" if you want to avoid this in the future.

[anna7602]

Apr 26, 2016 17:45:36 GMT -5 jenny1980 said:

I don't think this would bug me a whole lot honestly.

Me, neither. I mean, I go to any and all lengths to not invoke my kids as a reason I can't attend a meeting, but that's because I work for myself and have no idea what the home situation is for any of my clients. If I were in an office environment with other parents of young kids, I'd embrace the camaraderie. 

Or is your rant because you think your co-worker shouldn't be taking time off of work because her tween got braces? Or because it makes you both seem like no one else would deal with doctor's appointments or administering Advil if not for the womenfolk? 

[shopgirl07]

No, I agree, calling it "Mommy duty" is totally unprofessional and annoying. She could have just said you both had conflicts. Mommy anything annoys me, but it especially grates in the workplace.

[krystee]

I hate that term too.

[cjeanette]

I would be annoyed. It's unprofessional. Just say you have to reschedule. Or if she felt the need the give a reason she could say you or Cora have an appt.

Mommy duty? That term annoys me. I would hate daddy duty equally though.

[lindsaymg]

Meh. This would not be my hill to die on but I am breezy.

[cricketwife]

Apr 26, 2016 17:52:20 GMT -5 swizz said:

Apr 26, 2016 17:49:48 GMT -5 cricketwife said:

I think if you tell them your daughter is the reason , it's kind of fair game . I'd stick with , "I've got an appointment and need to reschedule" if you want to avoid this in the future.

Swizz has an appointment with her daughter is not the same as "mommy duty."

I think for a lot of people in a work environment, it is the same thing.  I hate the term too, fwiw. 

[ringstrue]

Annoying. I agree tho that unfortunately the only path may be to limit what you share of appointments.

[pugz]

I hate when grown women use the term "mommy" to describe things. Blech

[undecidedowl]

I'd be annoyed. Women fight enough "mommy" stereotyping in the workforce, we don't need other women dragging us down. Whether or not it's fair, people take notice of when my time off is for me vs. my kids as if it's some measure of my commitment.

Plus, it just sounds unprofessional.

[pinotgrig]

Apr 26, 2016 18:32:45 GMT -5 undecidedowl said:

I'd be annoyed. Women fight enough "mommy" stereotyping in the workforce, we don't need other women dragging us down. Whether or not it's fair, people take notice of when my time off is for me vs. my kids as if it's some measure of my commitment.

Plus, it just sounds unprofessional.

Allllll of this. I'm in a male-dominated field and get annoyed anytime I feel like people are using my motherhood as excuse for something, esp if I didn't initiate it (and I try really hard to be vague about dr appts and such).

[undecidedowl]

Apr 26, 2016 18:36:59 GMT -5 pinotgrig said:

Apr 26, 2016 18:32:45 GMT -5 undecidedowl said:

I'd be annoyed. Women fight enough "mommy" stereotyping in the workforce, we don't need other women dragging us down. Whether or not it's fair, people take notice of when my time off is for me vs. my kids as if it's some measure of my commitment.

Plus, it just sounds unprofessional.

Allllll of this. I'm in a male-dominated field and get annoyed anytime I feel like people are using my motherhood as excuse for something, esp if I didn't initiate it (and I try really hard to be vague about dr appts and such).

Yea, I definitely think working in a male-dominated field skews my perspective. I am very sensitive to any comments that imply my motherhood has any impact on my ability to do my job. Having a previously scheduled appt? Okay, everybody has those. Having to be on mommy duty during work hours? NO.

This is coming from someone whose boss just questioned them during a midyear review about a rumor that someone brought to HR that I'm planning to quit to SAH. (I'm not.) He suggested I be *even* more careful about what I say. RAGE.

[pinotgrig]

Whoa undecidedowl - that is crazy he said that to you! My jaw was on the ground reading that.

[ringstrue]

"Mommy duty" implies that it's not the fathers job as well. It also couches the employee as a "mom first" which could lead to being mommy zoned- meaning that people assume she's not interested in advancement, promotion, etc.

[Marmee]

That would piss me right off. No one calls anything I do "mommy" unless I birthed you damn it. At work makes it a thousand times worse.

[chickadee77]

"Mommy duty" pisses me off, but so does "Daddy duty." Look, dude, we can't just throw a damn box of Triscuits in the crib and peace out for eight hours.

[nextbigthing]

Apr 26, 2016 18:36:59 GMT -5 pinotgrig said:

Apr 26, 2016 18:32:45 GMT -5 undecidedowl said:

I'd be annoyed. Women fight enough "mommy" stereotyping in the workforce, we don't need other women dragging us down. Whether or not it's fair, people take notice of when my time off is for me vs. my kids as if it's some measure of my commitment.

Plus, it just sounds unprofessional.

Allllll of this. I'm in a male-dominated field and get annoyed anytime I feel like people are using my motherhood as excuse for something, esp if I didn't initiate it (and I try really hard to be vague about dr appts and such).

This. I don't ever say that I have something for DS to move something for work because I feel like I get judged in my male dominated industry.

I just send an email with "I have a conflict, can we xyz...."

swizz team you, I'd be annoyed too!