"a sabbatical-like break that allows women and, to a lesser degree, men to shift their focus to the part of their lives that doesn’t revolve around their jobs. "
Isn't that called a vacation? What she's really saying is she wants more vacation time.
This stuck out to me as well. Why do men need/deserve a sabbatical-like break "to a lesser degree" than women in her mind? They don't get burned out on monotony and stress?
Post by RoxMonster on Apr 28, 2016 19:49:59 GMT -5
Well, this is just stupid.
I do think that everyone needs a good work-life balance--parents and non-parents alike. And I don't think that's something a ton of employers are really great with here in the U.S. So I can get behind that point. But "meternity" is stupid (just call it a sabbatical). And saying people with the most flexibility are parents is dumb and uninformed too.
I do think everyone (barring emergencies, occasional meetings or whatever, etc) should get to walk out of work on time and no one employee should constantly be staying late. But again, that goes back to expectations and work-life balance for all.
I don't have kids, either, but I find her insufferable.
I can't get behind this writer's idea but I do bristle at the notion that every moment of my life is just endless amounts of me time because I haven't had children.
I can't speak for saz, but I think it's quite possible that the writer of this piece, specifically, has devoted her every waking moment to herself.
Not a reflection on those who don't have kids.
Thanks mouse. I've been trying to figure out how to articulate what you just did. I definitely did not want to hurt gpw or anyone else here without kids because I don't feel that way toward people without children. It was directed at the author who finds it impossible to even be able to understand that maybe maternity leave isn't just an excuse for extra vacation time. I work from home and am self employed, so I didn't have an official maternity leave, but the first few weeks postpartum were pretty hellish for me. The only thing remotely resembling me time that I had was either changing my pad or sobbing in the shower.
Post by StrawberryBlondie on Apr 28, 2016 20:15:18 GMT -5
I don't know about you ladies, but I'm at peak self-reflection when my toddler and I are in the Target parking lot and she's demanding that her dad (who is at home) strap her into her car seat.
I can't get behind this writer's idea but I do bristle at the notion that every moment of my life is just endless amounts of me time because I haven't had children.
I can't speak for saz, but I think it's quite possible that the writer of this piece, specifically, has devoted her every waking moment to herself.
Not a reflection on those who don't have kids.
I read her bio elsewhere and she took two and a half years off for a "meternity " (VOMIT) and traveled all over the world just for fun and "self actualization". I'm going to say yes, her whole life is probably "me time." She clearly has no other obligations in her life.
As someone who spent the entire afternoon holding my baby on maternity leave today because it is the only way she will sleep, this article gives me the rage. Flexible? Fuck this bitch right here. She can feel free to come over for a little "self-reflection." I'll throw in some laundry, dirty bathrooms, a poopy diaper blowout, nothing for dinner since there hasn't been time to grocery shop, and a constant stream of e-mails from my office asking for stuff every. single. day. You know, while I'm on my vacation.
Oh fuck her. Maternity leave is about as far from a vacation as it fucking gets and having small helpless human beings to take care of sure as shit doesn't make any parent's schedule more flexible. Take a vacation you asshole. I'm sure you have the time since you don't have to use every second of your paid time off to be at home taking care of sick kids who can't go to daycare while you desperately hope you don't catch whatever they have.
Post by Velar Fricative on Apr 28, 2016 21:14:55 GMT -5
I had plenty of time to self-reflect on ML because my baby wanted to be held the entire time, so I had a permanent assmark on my couch. But I only self-reflected on the fact that my boobs were leaking all the time and my house was a mess and I hadn't showered in days. And that was all with a helpful husband when he was home.
Maternity leave is a time for self-reflection? Well I can't lie and say after the millionth time my newborn shat, pissed, or puked all over what new changed and clean apparel, sheets, or blankets, I wasn't definitely thinking "this might not have been the best idea."
ML was definitely not about self-actualization, finding myself, or taking a break to prevent burn out. FFS! If I managed to go out in public without a massive spot of baby shit on my clothes, I considered it a banner day.
I don't know about you ladies, but I'm at peak self-reflection when my toddler and I are in the Target parking lot and she's demanding that her dad (who is at home) strap her into her car seat.
My self-reflections at this time involve gems such as:
Oh god, does anybody think I'm kidnapping this child? Is it wrong if I just poke her a *little* hard in the belly so she stops arching her back like that? Did I do this to my mother? What will I do if she never grows out of this bullshit? How did I birth a child with no actual bones!? How is she doing that?! This is like wrestling a bag of pythons!! Is bribery really wrong? What treats do I have at home that I could dangle right now?
I laughed pretty much the whole time I read this. And then I wanted to throw things.
There is obviously a legitimate argument that we need better work-life balances in this country and that we need more vacation time, sick time, flexibility, etc. The concept of a sabbatical isn't something that is earth shattering.
But to tie that in with MATERNITY LEAVE and the parents that you work with is just horseshit. I mean, first off, the maternity laws in this country are pathetic. You had a baby! Yay, take 12 weeks off! Paid if your company is nice, unpaid if they aren't. And that's only if your company qualifies. And only if your position qualifies. And then only if you can afford it.
Parents (okay mostly moms) can leave work "early" (oh noes, at 6 oclock!) but then they end up being mommy-tracked, or not taken seriously, or judged for those early departures.
But sure. Being a working mother in the US is just the bees knees, maternity leave and all.
Yes! This person needs to go read that thread about 25% of women returning to work within 2 weeks of giving birth.
I never really had maternity leave because I am a SAHM. I guess my whole life is "meternity" leave. I'll have to pencil more self reflection time in though, because I don't think I've reached peak self reflection yet.
I do know that being puked on 24/7 for 6m and 8m respectively did make me question my life choices and what I'd done so wrong to deserve the exorcist babies. Maybe that's what she means. I know I felt so refreshed after those months of hypoallergenic formula barf. Really helped me decide where I wanted to go in life after that. Spoiler Alert: unable to pull the trigger on more kids due to intense fear of a months long barfing extravaganza. I guess I did figure out something about myself during that time. I don't like being barfed on and I prefer sleep to sleep deprivation. Oh and I hate laundry. Very valuable - and shocking, of course - things to learn about myself.
Yes plenty of moms get to quit work and start their own business! You know because daycare costs more than their employer will pay them so they are forced to quit and then in desperation get sucked into one of the myriad of MLMs that prey on the vulnerable
I knew I'd be able to find a thread in this. She's delusional, & I don't even have kids.
Only one of my coworkers seemed to resent the month of bereavement leave I took after DH died. But fuck that bitch, I'm counting the days until she retires anyway.
Ditto OPs, for some reason this just seems worse coming from another woman.
Also, RAGE at my CWs the other day comparing how many vacations they were taking and discussing shifting the burdens of work in the office. They recognized I've barely taken a vacation in 8 years but I'll be on my "baby vacation" at the end of this year (w/my accrued leave). Glad we're keeping things equal so you can travel Europe while I deal w/the demands of a tiny human monster.
I knew I'd be able to find a thread in this. She's delusional, & I don't even have kids.
Only one of my coworkers seemed to resent the month of bereavement leave I took after DH died. But fuck that bitch, I'm counting the days until she retires anyway.
I don't wear earrings, but still, SOMEONE HOLD MY GOLD!
I only read the beginning, does this mean I should go read the rest?
No. I did and I regret it.
The upside is how much agreement there is in this post that this bitch is cray. Kumaya, CEP, kumbaya.
I don't think I even thought this kind of shit at 25, but I don't see how anyone in their 30s, who is friends with a real live mother, could ever think this nonsense, let alone publish it on the Internet.
I haven't read the other thread but I heard through the grapevine why it is long. Guys, we've talked about this! I know NewOrleans is with me.
She is not worth the kinetic energy of anyone typing. she's a horrible person, a hypocrite, and a Pharisee. She enjoys having a chance to preach and put her crazed words out. I won't give her a venue to do so. I'm not playing DANCE MONKEYS for her. I have more to say but it would give her attention and blow this shit up further.
I haven't read the other thread but I heard through the grapevine why it is long. Guys, we've talked about this! I know NewOrleans is with me.
She is not worth the kinetic energy of anyone typing. she's a horrible person, a hypocrite, and a Pharisee. She enjoys having a chance to preach and put her crazed words out. I won't give her a venue to do so. I'm not playing DANCE MONKEYS for her. I have more to say but it would give her attention and blow this shit up further.
oh! she's in there. Ok, then I won't read. won't even be tempted.
She is not worth the kinetic energy of anyone typing. she's a horrible person, a hypocrite, and a Pharisee. She enjoys having a chance to preach and put her crazed words out. I won't give her a venue to do so. I'm not playing DANCE MONKEYS for her. I have more to say but it would give her attention and blow this shit up further.
oh! she's in there. Ok, then I won't read. won't even be tempted.
I knew I'd be able to find a thread in this. She's delusional, & I don't even have kids.
Only one of my coworkers seemed to resent the month of bereavement leave I took after DH died. But fuck that bitch, I'm counting the days until she retires anyway.
So, can we kick her in the knees for you? Seriously. Put itching powder in her underwear?