Does your kid get angry?

[Deleted]

Like, actual anger. Screaming and crying and yelling and kind of grunting/growling?
This is new for Delaney and I don't like it and don't know how to handle it.
It's way worse when she eats gluten but even without it still happens. She doesn't really get physical but she starts to and realizes she needs to stop, most of the time.

But she just gets so angry and she even said once "I just can't control it"

She's her happy self majority of the time but if she gets in trouble or doesn't get her way she explodes.

[Deleted]

Yes lately Brady goes from 0-60 in 2 secs anytime Amelia has something he wants regardless of who has it first. We're working on stop and take a deep breath and count to 4

[Deleted]

May 12, 2016 22:21:07 GMT -5 @jayhawkali said:

Yes lately Brady goes from 0-60 in 2 secs anytime Amelia has something he wants regardless of who has it first. We're working on stop and take a deep breath and count to 4

Yes I do that too but sometimes it doesn't even matter

Sometimes I just hold her until she gets it all out which I actually think she likes because she seems to be in much better spirits after but that's not reasonable to do forever/every time and also counter intuitive to do if she's mad about a consequence

[Deleted]

But this is the first parenting thing to really make me feel like I am cimoletely screwing up

[fadedscars]

Yes. L will actually start punching M in the face repeatedly until i can either pull her away or M can defend herself. She also hits herself, clenches her fist while screaming, and hit her head against the floor or wall. It's heart breaking to even watch.

[shevacc]

Yes, and usually it's directed at me. Often at daycare drop off or when I have to hurry her (she often dawdles).

[Deleted]

Maybe teach her hand squeezes?

[Deleted]

May 12, 2016 22:24:56 GMT -5 fadedscars said:

Yes. L will actually start punching M in the face repeatedly until i can either pull her away or M can defend herself. She also hits herself, clenches her fist while screaming, and hit her head against the floor or wall. It's heart breaking to even watch.

Yeah Delaney clenches her fist and has hit her head on the table on purpose once. She's pushed/hit me a few times.
And her and Rhys are often arguing over something

[fadedscars]

May 12, 2016 22:24:18 GMT -5 ladybug said:

May 12, 2016 22:21:07 GMT -5 @jayhawkali said:

Yes lately Brady goes from 0-60 in 2 secs anytime Amelia has something he wants regardless of who has it first. We're working on stop and take a deep breath and count to 4

Yes I do that too but sometimes it doesn't even matter

Sometimes I just hold her until she gets it all out which I actually think she likes because she seems to be in much better spirits after but that's not reasonable to do forever/every time and also counter intuitive to do if she's mad about a consequence

Its probably wrong but I actually offer leia a hug and then its time out. I have actually felt like she just crumbles when you give her a hug after she's had such a rage. We discuss why it's not OK to act that way and give another hug and she's better.

[kandrze1]

Yes, Emerson does. It's increased a lot lately. I think a lot of her anger is from being frustrated very easily. I talk to her a lot about asking for help before she gets upset.
She gets elevated when she's in trouble too. I know it's something her teachers work with her on. They read a lot of social stories when she's calm. I need to ask her play therapist for more specific things I can do when she's getting angry because I don't always know how to handle it.

[Deleted]

May 12, 2016 22:26:01 GMT -5 @jayhawkali said:

Maybe teach her hand squeezes?

What is this?

[Deleted]

I'm sorry you guys are dealing it with too but I'm glad I'm not alone!

[carawestt]

This is Lincoln. His tantrums are INTENSE. I don't know how to handle it most of the time. He hit me really hard today too.

[Deleted]

May 12, 2016 22:27:02 GMT -5 ladybug said:

May 12, 2016 22:26:01 GMT -5 @jayhawkali said:

Maybe teach her hand squeezes?

What is this?

Have her hold her hands together like she's prayin and squeeze. You can even put your hands over her hands and squeeze them. It's one of the coping skills we teach at work

[Deleted]

May 12, 2016 22:33:50 GMT -5 honeybee503 said:

Natalie gets so angry when she is trying to tell us something but can't think of the words to say. She yells and screams and tell us we are all rude. She bit herself on the hand the other day and it broke my heart.

I've been telling her how it can help to take a quiet timeout in her room to calm down alone, and that has helped. She will often go in there on her own, and she comes out much calmer. Letting her deal with it alone and just making sure she isn't hurting herself or anyone else has been the best way to deal with it for us so far.

I tried the room thing longer and it was way worse and as soon as I walked to her she clenched onto me and then my heart broke.

I think I should have gotten her in her room sooner for it to work so I'll try again

[jg183]

Yes not often but when he does its bad. He screamed the whole car ride this morning threw his shoes at me while driving and tantrummed like crazy going into daycare. Mr nilex0102 and A side eyerd him big time today lol

[eav2c]

Um, yes. He's basically the hulk when he's pissed and he gets angry over little things and goes from 0-100 in 2.5 seconds. He can get physical, which we're working on, but it's a process. He has no shame in telling me I'm a "terrible evil mommy." It's awesome.

His anger has almost gotten worse in some ways but afterwards he's been more rational and reasonable in talking it out so two steps forward one step back? Lol

[monkeybabe]

Yes. Usually she hits Patrick, when she hits. She also screams, "I don't like you!" when she's angry. Usually, I'll ask her if she needs a hug, and that calms her down. She freaked the fuck out at her birthday party, because her friends were playing with her new easel and we had to have some quiet time in the office, so she'd stop slapping at the other kids.

[devotchka]

Yes, and from parents of older kids I've talked to it seems very developmentally appropriate and for us it's gotten a lot better recently --- but it started to get really really bad a year ago or so. When he turned 4 it's light a switch went off & it's a lot easier.

We use typical positive parenting methods - and Max is very very easily sparked so it is hard. I'm not gonna lie, I definitely yelled more than I'd like to but I realize it was just making things worse. It triggered me a lot (growing up in a yelling / angry household) so it's been tough for me but I've learned to say it's ok to feel this and yes it's unfair (or sad or whatever it is) however I will not allow you to scream at me (or hit me or hit yourself or others etc), blah blah blah. Eventually it gets to him. Time ins work sometimes. A lot of hugs. A lot of times for Max it's him asking for help when "all of his lightbulbs have burnt out" and I have to remember how little he is, how immature his brain is and how tired/helpless he must be. Sometimes I just take a time out for myself and walk away before I respond too :/
Anyway you are so not alone! They are little hulks!

[jnoellee]

Eli is the hulk.

[teamhayes]

Yes anger is far to common here but it has gotten so much better in the last 9 months

Last summer it was at an all time him and I really was so discouraged and sad

Now there are still huge mood swings but the violence isn't as bad

I get the I hate you s a lot but not as many hits and punches as I did before
The two boys play rough but the hits and kicks with them have also lessened

I agree hugs or hand holding helps a lot

[puppylove64]

Yes L has started getting really bad right before he turned 4. My friend whose son is a year older said 4 was very frustrating for her. Time outs work best for Lucas and then hugs. He tells me that he just needs me to hold him. I think he just gets so tired, overwhelmed and worked up that he can't control his emotions it is hard for me too

[bebeetmoi]

Yes. I've taught her breathing excersizes to help calm her- breath in like your smelling a flower, breathe out like you're blowing out a candle. It definitely helps.
Is it genuine anger, or frustration? Frustration is very normal for their age.
My XH has severe anger issues, which is concerning to me for DD (on many different levels).

[jsillyfun]

Yes and I tell her she can be angry but can't yell or scream at people (luckily she doesn't get physical) and then she usually cries and wants to cuddle.