It sounds like you're an active family, so I wouldn't push a team sport right now. I may consider nudging her into agreeing to take a drawing class, though, as she loves drawing.
Our local library has a Minecraft group that meets up every Friday. Something to consider. Lots of libraries these days have group tech activities for kids!
I totally get where you are coming from because I'd be the same way. Is there any chance she's not feeling well (constipated or ?) or has some underlying issue (thyroid checked maybe)? I just say that because I have 1 "un-athletic" child who seems "lazy" but really she just tires easily/poor stamina due to low tone & she often doesn't feel great due to digestion issues. In my case she likes swimming (lessons) and participates in soccer (barely & only to be with her friends). She's enrolled in golf lessons for summer & has done tennis in the past. I keep trying to think of less competitive yet physical things for her to do. I'd be concerned if my DD truly is really not liking any/all physical activity & it's costing her friends/socialization at only 8--I'd make sure there wasn't something underlying going on. Just a thought. I hope your DD finds her "thing" whatever it may be.
Post by stealthmom on May 13, 2016 17:22:07 GMT -5
I genuinely don't understand the emphasis on "activities "
"They have to do something!"
Why? Why can't they just be kids and do what interests them, or be bored at home and discover a toy they had never played with or read a new book or play with friends or run around outside or or or.
Mean mom of a kid with ADHD comorbid with ASD, specific LD, and GAD.
The family values are 2 activities at all times- one in school and one outside. DS didn't always love what he was doing, but over time these activities became important to him and I'm glad we didn't let him opt out entirely. Girls with ADHD can become isolated, so it's important to help them create a social group to provide a place and protection for her.
If she doesn't like sports, music or scouts can offer the same lessons in getting along with others and functioning as a part of a team.
Maybe an art school or lessons. Or try an offbeat sport like fencing or shooting.
I genuinely don't understand the emphasis on "activities "
"They have to do something!"
Why? Why can't they just be kids and do what interests them, or be bored at home and discover a toy they had never played with or read a new book or play with friends or run around outside or or or.
What is it with the obsession with activities?
[ It becomes the thing they are doing in high school that keeps them off the street corners. Okay, that was my mothers answer.
Does she like cooking? That might be a good activity if you have classes that teach creative and healthy dishes. If not I'd also suggest music, art or a non-competitive, slow exercise like yoga or tai chi. I hate exercise but I'll do both of those. Girl Scouts is also a great suggestion. It would be ideal if she could pick something but if not I'd give her a list and say she had to pick one or find an acceptable alternative. This obv isn't exercise related but is there a kids book club? That might be good for making friends.
There has already been a lot of input but I just wanted to mention that there could be something else going on here. Many of her favored activities, reading, computer time, and drawing are more isolated activities. You also mentioned a lot of complaining about participating in family activities (not sure if only when you do something physical or not) and isolating from friends.
These might be signs that something is going on, social anxiety and depression could contribute to this (or something medical like thyroid issues could cause low energy/fatigue). I wouldn't force a sport but I would talk about keeping active for 30-45 minutes of "home time." Be that a walk, an activity, or neighborhood play. You may actually want to set a timer. I would not just leave this alone. Yes she may just be going through a transitional phase but speaking as someone who had untreated depression as a child I wish someone would have stepped in and said, no we don't spend all our time reading and wish someone had encouraged me to maintain friendships, get out of the house/ and/or get therapy as needed.
I am also someone who thinks organized activities can suck the fun out of the actual activities. I would much prefer my son play pick up ball verse being on a team at 8 years old. But that doesn't seem to happen as much anymore.
My concern also would be with her choosing activities that are more isolated. It might be her personality and that is totally fine. Or it could be a sign of something more. I would just keep and eye on it and continue to encourage her to try new things.
We let Jack jump from activity/sport as he chooses. So one season he is into soccer the next it was swimming. Then he did fencing. Now he is in baseball. He just has to finish a season, but we just let him explore his interest at this age. He rarely sticks with someone for more than one season and I think that is okay.
I genuinely don't understand the emphasis on "activities "
"They have to do something!"
Why? Why can't they just be kids and do what interests them, or be bored at home and discover a toy they had never played with or read a new book or play with friends or run around outside or or or.
What is it with the obsession with activities?
[ It becomes the thing they are doing in high school that keeps them off the street corners. Okay, that was my mothers answer.
I get older kids. But younger ones? I know people who are at a different thing every night of the week.
It seems like we force kids to be mini adults instead of kids. *I'm* scheduled to the hilt. I don't want that for my kids.
[ It becomes the thing they are doing in high school that keeps them off the street corners. Okay, that was my mothers answer.
I get older kids. But younger ones? I know people who are at a different thing every night of the week.
It seems like we force kids to be mini adults instead of kids. *I'm* scheduled to the hilt. I don't want that for my kids.
im not interested in the multi day activities - a few days/week is enough- and definitely not over scheduled. Many kids love their soccer of hockey or whatever and are happy to be busy every day. And my kids friends are all in multi-day activities. I do worry my kids will have trouble doing junior high sports since lots of kids will have years of practice behind them.
When we do active things as a family, she's always the slowest and holds us up. And complains. I'd be happier biking with my kids, or hitting golf balls or whatever instead of watching them from the bleachers.
Thanks everyone, I appreciate your differing perspectives.
I get older kids. But younger ones? I know people who are at a different thing every night of the week.
It seems like we force kids to be mini adults instead of kids. *I'm* scheduled to the hilt. I don't want that for my kids.
im not interested in the multi day activities - a few days/week is enough- and definitely not over scheduled. Many kids love their soccer of hockey or whatever and are happy to be busy every day. And my kids friends are all in multi-day activities. I do worry my kids will have trouble doing junior high sports since lots of kids will have years of practice behind them.
When we do active things as a family, she's always the slowest and holds us up. And complains. I'd be happier biking with my kids, or hitting golf balls or whatever instead of watching them from the bleachers.
Thanks everyone, I appreciate your differing perspectives.
sorry. That comment wasn't directed at you or anyone in particular. Just wondering prompted by this thread.
I genuinely don't understand the emphasis on "activities "
"They have to do something!"
Why? Why can't they just be kids and do what interests them, or be bored at home and discover a toy they had never played with or read a new book or play with friends or run around outside or or or.
What is it with the obsession with activities?
[ It becomes the thing they are doing in high school that keeps them off the street corners. Okay, that was my mothers answer.
Lol! I was the bad kid on the street corner and let me tell you I was super envious of the sporty kids. Again, I'm projecting!
[ It becomes the thing they are doing in high school that keeps them off the street corners. Okay, that was my mothers answer.
I get older kids. But younger ones? I know people who are at a different thing every night of the week.
It seems like we force kids to be mini adults instead of kids. *I'm* scheduled to the hilt. I don't want that for my kids.
I think kids who do different things many days a week probably do enjoy it and are not like the OPs child. I really doubt it'd go well to force a child to do activities they aren't into, much less everyday. My kids are in stuff a few days a week 1) at their request 2) for exercise because we live in the inner city & they don't have freedom to run around at home like suburban/rural/small town kids 3) they like playing with friends outside school and making non-school friends 4) since we live in a city, you don't just walk into try outs as an "older kid" and make teams (sports, academic teams, etc)--prior practice/experience is pretty much a requirement 5) I prefer them well rounded so they do sports, take instrument lessons, etc...I believe it helps them find their passions so as older kids/adults they feel like they chose their own path & make an informed decision of what to pursue 6) my H & I had these opportunities as kids ourselves and felt compelled to do the same or more for our children. 7) I'm not scheduled at all so I have the ability time & money wise to do it for them. I consider it a perk of our current lifestyle.
Her interests are primarily minecraft, Netflix, barbies, reading, and drawing.
This seems normal. My 11 and 9 year old daughters train in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, but that's their only physical/extracurricular activity. They've never shown interest in things like dance, gymnastics or sports. I also never pushed these activities. I'm pretty meh about most sports, so it wasn't a big deal to me. But being introverts, their interests revolve around ready, writing, drawing, YouTube channels, movies, and music. They're playing Minecraft together right now. My 9 year old is big into science kits and collecting... things, and my 11 year old is a fantasy and anime geek. She's also in band at school.
During the summer they take art classes. I don't really see my 9 year old getting involved in most things just because. She has to be really interested in something to want to do it.
Her interests are primarily minecraft, Netflix, barbies, reading, and drawing.
Look into classes through Youth Digital. Online classes in coding and game production/design that relate to Minecraft. She may enjoy that.
I know it's not an "active" activity, but it would be something.
I second this. I told both girls I'd sign them up for a course over the summer. My 11 year is really interested in game design and animation. She's super excited.
I get older kids. But younger ones? I know people who are at a different thing every night of the week.
It seems like we force kids to be mini adults instead of kids. *I'm* scheduled to the hilt. I don't want that for my kids.
I think kids who do different things many days a week probably do enjoy it and are not like the OPs child. I really doubt it'd go well to force a child to do activities they aren't into, much less everyday. My kids are in stuff a few days a week 1) at their request 2) for exercise because we live in the inner city & they don't have freedom to run around at home like suburban/rural/small town kids 3) they like playing with friends outside school and making non-school friends 4) since we live in a city, you don't just walk into try outs as an "older kid" and make teams (sports, academic teams, etc)--prior practice/experience is pretty much a requirement 5) I prefer them well rounded so they do sports, take instrument lessons, etc...I believe it helps them find their passions so as older kids/adults they feel like they chose their own path & make an informed decision of what to pursue 6) my H & I had these opportunities as kids ourselves and felt compelled to do the same or more for our children. 7) I'm not scheduled at all so I have the ability time & money wise to do it for them. I consider it a perk of our current lifestyle.
you can be well rounded and not do lots of organized activities. That's the kind of thinking I object to.