I feel sad for my sister

[janiejones]

We spent the weekend with her, her BF and his family. She's been waiting for him to propose for a while, and while we were there his younger brother proposed to his girlfriend.

I know when the time is right it will happen, and it will be this BF, but they've been together 4+ years, she's in her 30s, and is so anxious for it to happen.

[bonquiqui]

That is really hard. Does her bf know that she wants to get married? Does he have any interest in it?

[janiejones]

He's been telling her for the last 3 years he wants to marry her, and I know it's genuine.

[sonrisa]

I feel bad for your sister too.

If they're in their 30s and they've been together for 4+ years I'd start to think the time isn't going to ever be right for him

[papie]

I'd put a deadline on his ass.

[bonquiqui]

Sept 3, 2012 17:03:47 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

I feel bad for your sister too.

If they're in their 30s and they've been together for 4+ years I'd start to think the time isn't going to ever be right for him

This is what I was thinking too. I mean I get when you are young to wait, it is the smart thing to do. Finish college, and get established and such, but why the hold up in your 30's?

[janiejones]

Sept 3, 2012 17:03:47 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

I feel bad for your sister too.

If they're in their 30s and they've been together for 4+ years I'd start to think the time isn't going to ever be right for him

If I didn't know him I might say the same. I know that's not it, and I'd explain but it's their business, and not nest important, KWIM?

I think it must feel for her a little like what IF did for me, when it seemed so easy for other couples.

[Mrs.Beagle]

Aww that sucks.

That happened to a friend of mine. She had been dating her boyfriend for almost 5 years, and he had planned an elaborate proposal.

He told his brother, who told him "I'm really happy for you bro" and then turned around and proposed to his girlfriend. No warning, no heads up.

In the end, he proposed to friend 2 weeks later than planned, on her birthday.

Your sister's time will come, and it will be wonderful. Don't let his younger brother's engagement change any plans they may have had.

[EmilieMadison]

Sept 3, 2012 17:09:38 GMT -5 janiejones said:

Sept 3, 2012 17:03:47 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

I feel bad for your sister too.

If they're in their 30s and they've been together for 4+ years I'd start to think the time isn't going to ever be right for him

If I didn't know him I might say the same. I know that's not it, and I'd explain but it's their business, and not nest important, KWIM?

So, what's your take on what's holding him back? This isnt a dig at him (because I *dont* know him) I'm just trying to figure out why, if he's been saying for 3 years that he wants to marry her that he doesnt just, you know, marry her?

[janiejones]

Finishing school/professional commitments. They both went back, met there, and haven't been out long.

[bonquiqui]

Sept 3, 2012 18:12:06 GMT -5 janiejones said:

Finishing school/professional commitments. They both went back, met there, and haven't been out long.

So maybe the proposal is coming, if they just finished school

[janiejones]

It is, as per what the BF said to MrJJ yesterday. But that doesn't solve how she is feeling today.

[ralphlauren]

I remember this with my twin. She wanted it so badly. They eventually got engaged and moved in together

[honeybee]

This sounds similar to my family.

Fiance and I had been dating 5 years when he popped the question.

My brother had been with his gf 8 years at that point. She had been begging for a ring for years.

A few months later she gave him an ultimatum so he gave her a ring. Now they're engaged and he has no intention of ever actually getting married. They've been together almost 10 years. If she had half a brain she'd walk away, instead they're both miserable stuck in a situation where neither wants to give in.


I hope things work out better for your sister.

[Deleted]

I wonder what finishing school will change for them and if your sister is on the same page with those desires.

For instance, if he's thinking they'll be able to afford a bigger wedding then and your sister doesn't give a shit about big weddings, perhaps it's time for a new discussion, kwim?

[jenna]

Yeah. I can relate. H took awhile to propose. I never gave him an ultimatum, but I had a time frame in my mind. We were both 36 when he proposed.

GL to your sister.