Tips for improving self confidence

[steph96]

Does anyone have any tips for improving self confidence or have any resources that helped you?

[pumpkin]

This is something I struggle with regularly, so posting to remember to come back and see the suggestions.

[Pom]

1. Listen to and graciously accept compliments. Don't shut them out. And compliment yourself.
2. Recognize all of the things about you that you've accomplished. Write them down if you need to.
3. Volunteer to help someone else. Building up others does a world of good for our own esteem.
4. Practice flirting. Compliment others.

[SallyJ]

1. Everyday when you look in the mirror find one thing to admire.
2. Meditation - I like the Build Confidence with Andrew Johnson guided meditation.
3. Focus on what you are proud of that you can do - could be physical, could be skills, could be personality trait.
4. Learn a new skill or grow a skill you already have. Growth and achievement can help tremendously.

[ribollita]

I mentor someone who is brilliant but can be shy or lack self esteem in certain situations. I read about a book called "Presence" that was published recently and told her about it, and she thought it really helped her.

[bparkhur]

I love this TED talk: www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are?language=en

[mrsukyankee]

When I work with clients on confidence, I remind them that confidence is not a feeling but an action. Ex. Nelson Mandela, when he was in jail, was scared. And yet, when he walked around the courtyards he acted as if he were confident. It led to him feeling more confident about everything as well as other seeing him as confident. If you can picture how a confident person acts and do that, then confidence will come.

I suggest the book: The Confidence Gap.

[theblissisback]

I'm a little "woo woo" but here's what I've been doing.

Every morning I look in the mirror and say "I love you, I really love you. You are the joy of my life."

I've started working out. Granted I'm only about a week in, I've seen a a difference. I'm actually looking forward to how I'll feel this time next week.

I compliment one person a day. Shirt, shoes, purse, hair, whatever. I'll just turn around in line or walking past someone and say "I like your x." It brings a smile to their day and to you.

I smile at everyone I make eye contact within 1-3 ft.

Before bed, I look in the mirror and give myself props on ONE thing I've done for the day. Sometimes, it's "I woke up." And other days it's "you kicked ass on that work event today!"

Finally, Louise Hay mirror work is a great resource. (See, woo woo.)

[mbcdefg]

For me, I started getting more confident when I could look at the good things in my life and think to myself, "I'm happy. If XYZ doesn't work out, so what?"

Example, I used to go to social events and work stuff where I'd have to talk to people. I'm awkward and can't hold a conversation. I used to drive home crying from things because I felt like nobody wanted to be around me. Now I'm like, "Whatever. I have MH at home and I can talk to him. I have a little group of great friends. I'm doing ok at work. Who cares."

And, honestly (Debbie Downer alert), my father's death really helped me out things in perspective. After that it became a lot easier for me to realize what really matters in life and what doesn't. Not everyone has to like me ... I can always get a new job or earn more money ... material things can be replaced.

I figure that if I can learn to be satisfied with myself, the rest will fall into place eventually.

[VillainV]

Counseling had helped me a lot.

[bears]

I read an article that recommended that at the end of the day, reflect on 3 things that you did well. At first, I really struggled trying to figure it out what I did well, but over time, it was easier and I really felt that reflecting on my accomplishments helped build confidence.

I really struggled at fist, so here are some examples:
-I talked with MH about a sensitive subject without causing a misunderstanding or argument.
-I cooked a great dinner.
-When I had a difficult conversation with a coworker, I kept my cool, even if he didn't.
-I wrote a great email outlining difficulties I was facing in a project.
-I cleaned the bathroom.

A lot of the things I listed were really minor, but by focusing on the positive, I felt like I could have a better perspective on the good things I was doing in life so I was less likely to be waylaid by minor screw-ups because I could put them into perspective.