Do You Wait Longer to Have Sex if You Like Someone

[5kg8rgirl]

Had girls night out the other day and a friend mentions she waits longer to have sex with someone if she is into them (have dating potential) vs. a random hookup or FWB situation. Her reasoning interested me. Do you?

[jojoandleo]

Nope. When I was younger, I was a sex on the first date girl. I slept with XFI on the first date. Granted, I waited longer with my now H (longer was 3 weeks), but I was older and more cautious about sex in general (when your ex cheats on you with women AND men and you have to get tested, you tend to be super cautious for a while). I kind of follow the Samantha philosophy that "A guy could just as easily dump you if you fuck him on the first date as he can if you wait until the tenth."

[awick14]

Nope I don't wait. Slept with DH on the first day we started dating. (never really did the date thing as we hung out a few times in large groups of friends).

[hobs209]

Kind of... but it more depends on what I'm looking for. If I'm just looking for sex and I'm pretty sure nothing else will develop, then that's what I go for. If there are particular things about a person that make me think they might have long term potential, I wait a little longer so I can get to know them. I do this largely to protect myself though. I can have sex and not get emotionally invested as long as that's what I'm doing from the beginning. If I really like someone though and introduce sex, it's much harder to find out that they aren't on the same page. Waiting "longer" is generally about 3 or 4 weeks though so I'm not sure what your definition is.

[bullygirl979]

Sept 4, 2012 6:11:50 GMT -5 hobs209 said:

Kind of... but it more depends on what I'm looking for. If I'm just looking for sex and I'm pretty sure nothing else will develop, then that's what I go for. If there are particular things about a person that make me think they might have long term potential, I wait a little longer so I can get to know them. I do this largely to protect myself though. I can have sex and not get emotionally invested as long as that's what I'm doing from the beginning. If I really like someone though and introduce sex, it's much harder to find out that they aren't on the same page. Waiting "longer" is generally about 3 or 4 weeks though so I'm not sure what your definition is.

This goes for me as well. If I don't really care about the person, I don't really care when we have sex. But if I am into you, I tend to wait longer so I know we are on the same page.

[gozf]

No, I'm a slag.

[dakotadangerdog]

Oh man I would have banged CF guy the first time I went to his house if I wasn't on the rag

[achase123]

I at least wait long enough to make sure we're both on the same page, looking for the same thing.

I remember sleeping with a guy a few years ago about a week after we went on our first date (which was soon for me at that time)....I remember thinking that the date wasn't going very well so I just went ahead and slept with him because I figured I'd at least get that out of it. Then we ended up dating for about a month and a half after that.

I probably DO wait but not because I think it's this game that I need to play. It's more about making sure I'm comfortable with the situation. Sometimes if I sleep with someone it makes me feel more emotionally attached to them. I want to make sure I know where my feelings are so I don't get attached too quickly because of sex. Or, just the opposite has happened where I've slept with someone and been completely turned off.

[Deleted]

I think I base it off on how I feel. If I want to have sex then I just do it. I had sex with my STBXH before dating and only knowing him for a week. The longest I waited was three months before having sex and we ended up not dating after that.

[blackkitty]

Yes

[explorer2001]

No but that's because I don't have sex with.someone I cannot see having a relationship with.

[jade28]

Right after my divorce I hooked up with people that I was not in a relationship with and knew there would not be a relationship with. We always did have agreements in place though not to sleep with other people for safety reasons. In the end, it didn't really serve me any good. It kept me in "non relationships" longer than I think I would have been in them otherwise. So basically, I wasted valuable time and energy.

I rather reserve that kind of stuff for an exclusive relationship for various reasons (safety, emotional, etc). Right before my bf, I decided to only sleep with people I was in a committed relationship with and that is what I did with him. I think it makes it 10x better.

[jojoandleo]

Sept 4, 2012 9:05:43 GMT -5 gozf said:

No, I'm a slag.

What does this word mean? Am I old and out of touch?

[doriswe]

Sept 4, 2012 17:59:09 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Sept 4, 2012 9:05:43 GMT -5 gozf said:

No, I'm a slag.

What does this word mean? Am I old and out of touch?

I believe it's "slut bag" but I could be wrong!

[Deleted]

I think I should next time around. Been out of the dating game for 5 years. With xh we had sex on our first date. Before him I was also a slut...sex didn't have any time limit.
Now, however that I'm getting back in the game, I think I will try and hold out a bit( no idea how long) if I think they guy has relationship potential.

[mandimija]

I was engaged to XH before we had sex, and it was my first time. I just moved in with Mijo, and we still haven't had sex. Not that I think we'll wait til marriage, but I think it will be a while (at least until we get bc figured out. I go bsc on the pill, and my doc has forbidden me to use hormonal bc of any kind). I know I'm a prude when it comes to sex, but I'm weird when it comes to the physical side of things. I don't want anyone too close physically unless I'm comfortable with them (especially since the nasty little case of PTSD I have thanks to XH) so I'd have to be dead certain we had long term potential before I'd let someone inside of me.

Then again, my BFF slept with her now H about two weeks in, amd they're now happy as can be. I think it's whatever feels right to you and the situation you're in.

[doriswe]

I'm a Dugger and plan to wait until I'm married before I even think about kissing a guy......sex is sacred and needs to be between a husand and his wife

[bullygirl979]

Sept 4, 2012 20:12:13 GMT -5 doriswe said:

I'm a Dugger and plan to wait until I'm married before I even think about kissing a guy......sex is sacred and needs to be between a husand and his wife

What about kissing a girl? You promised me action, dammit!

[doriswe]

Sept 4, 2012 20:36:30 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

Sept 4, 2012 20:12:13 GMT -5 doriswe said:

I'm a Dugger and plan to wait until I'm married before I even think about kissing a guy......sex is sacred and needs to be between a husand and his wife

What about kissing a girl? You promised me action, dammit!

That's differently, OBVIOUSLY!! How else will I know how to please my husband??

[jojoandleo]

Sept 4, 2012 19:04:23 GMT -5 doriswe said:

Sept 4, 2012 17:59:09 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

What does this word mean? Am I old and out of touch?

I believe it's "slut bag" but I could be wrong!

All I could come up with was "slut hag" but I knew that couldn't be right because Gozf is super hot and not haggish at all.

[Deleted]

Sept 4, 2012 20:12:13 GMT -5 doriswe said:

I'm a Dugger and plan to wait until I'm married before I even think about kissing a guy......sex is sacred and needs to be between a husand and his wife

Lol

[doriswe]

Sept 4, 2012 22:15:18 GMT -5 dynamoo said:

Sept 4, 2012 21:20:10 GMT -5 @blueyes623 said:

Lol

No holding hands either!

I could never be a Duggar.

Did anyone see the last episode with the marriage of Josh Duggar's sister-in-law?? It was soooo awkward!!!

[mandimija]

Seriously. I respect their religious beliefs/right to act on them, but I think they're a bit...extreme. Mijo thinks they're bsc...

[jade28]

If I like someone, I sleep with them. I don't sleep with people I don't like. I usually wait a few weeks. I have only had four partners though. Two were boyfriends that I was in a relationship with before having sex. The other two never become committed relationships but they were ongoing non-relationships I guess.