Post by SallySparrow on May 21, 2016 21:17:04 GMT -5
Wait, what?
Sure, teach your kids that you have to work to get things, but this is overkill. Hell, I'm an adult and I still accept gifts/treats. Especially baked goods. Mmmmmmm.
Post by imojoebunny on May 21, 2016 21:29:52 GMT -5
My kid got a trophy for participation today at his season end soccer. Oh well, I don't believe it will end his motivation, which, since everything is measured these days by his school, was at 96%, according to them. Clearly, this result does not apply to brushing his teeth, cleaning his room, or cooperating when it is time to walk the dog. I would give him a treat bag to do that, but he does not care.
That mom should focus on manners, "Thank you for the kind gift Ms. X, I appreciate you including me. I had a great time". Treat bag earned.
I don't give goodie bags (my kids hate this about me!). I think that the party activities and food is enough of a thank you for coming and all that.
I don't make my kids leave goodie bags at parties they are invited to, but I get a little happy when a party doesn't end in a goodie bag. . I do feel like he concept is silly and sort of similar to participation trophies. A birthday party is to celebrate the birthday kid, the other kids don't need presents that day too, they get them at their party (which more than likely my kid is invited to and will bring a gift to).
A lot of times I do a craft as an activity so the kids don't leave totally empty handed exactly. Last night was DD2's sleepover for her birthday. The girls all made a dinosaur fairy garden to take home. Last year for DD1's sleepover birthday we tie dyed string backpacks for them to take home.
I feel like my circle wins at goody bags. $5 gift card for the book store. Snack/ treat. One big prize gift that is a good one instead of 10 crappy things. Last week, she got princess hair clips. Win.
A few years ago DS was in a soccer class for 2-3 year olds. At the end of each class coach gave each kid gummies. One mom was telling her kid he couldn't have any bc he didn't earn then by getting enough goals.
All the other 2 year olds are happily eating their gummies except this poor kid with the bitch mom.
I am mystified by this. Lots (most?) of presents are not earned, but rather given as a tradition (see: Christmas). Party favors, while certainly not strictly necessary, are a traditional thing, just like many other gift-giving observances. I get other reasons that people don't like goodie bags, but this particular argument makes no sense.
I just wait a week and the novelty of random plastic wears out and I throw out the goody bag contents. DS1 gets to play and I don't have six million super hero rings hanging around, everyone wins. I deserve a goody bag for restraining myself from bouncing at all the birthday bounce house places we end up at, but alas.
Post by matildasun on May 22, 2016 11:33:20 GMT -5
I hate goody bags full of plastic junk, but I always let the kids take them. M's party was yesterday. I gave all the kids a pair of Star Wars socks, probably really random, but they were cheap, and everyone needs socks.
I got some participation trophies growing up. No worries, I always knew I sucked at sports.
RIGHT?! They were smaller and lame and said PARTICIPANT on them. I WAS NOT STUPID. I STILL KNEW I WAS FAT AND SLOW. It was nice to get something to acknowledge that yes, I showed up all season and tried and that effort is worth something.
I am probably going to wind up super in favor of participation trophies. There is new research showing that praising effort is better than results. If you only praise results, kids internalize that they are stupid/bad at something if they don't initially succeed and then give up. It's a real issue with smart girls giving up on science and math - if it's more challenging than other things they've learned, they think, "I am bad at this" rather than "I need to keep trying at this."
I got some participation trophies growing up. No worries, I always knew I sucked at sports.
RIGHT?! They were smaller and lame and said PARTICIPANT on them. I WAS NOT STUPID. I STILL KNEW I WAS FAT AND SLOW. It was nice to get something to acknowledge that yes, I showed up all season and tried and that effort is worth something.
I am probably going to wind up super in favor of participation trophies. There is new research showing that praising effort is better than results. If you only praise results, kids internalize that they are stupid/bad at something if they don't initially succeed and then give up. It's a real issue with smart girls giving up on science and math - if it's more challenging than other things they've learned, they think, "I am bad at this" rather than "I need to keep trying at this."
So yes. PARTICIPATION TROPHIES FOR ALL.
1000% yes.
Showing up all season and trying your best and supporting your team is worthy of acknowledgement even if you weren't the best player.
Post by loreleigilmore on May 22, 2016 17:35:14 GMT -5
I hate goody bags. But I let my kids take them when offered.
In the past at our parties I do coloring books and a nice box of crayons. I figure it will possibly get used and most kids bust into them during present opening. This past year I had crafts as part of our party so kids got to take home whatever they made (mostly foam crowns and puppets).