This is so hard...

[alysham28]

I've only posted here twice before but I really need someone to talk to and I've seen how great and supportive you ladies can be so I'm hoping you all can help me feel a little better. Background story is that my STBXH and I have been together 7 years, married for 3 and we have a 2 yr old daughter. Back in May, my H decided he wanted to seperate but a couple weeks after that he decided he wanted to make it work. We tried to make it work and went to counseling and I thought it was getting better but then at the beginning of August, he just decided he was done. He said he didn't love me in that way anymore and just didn't want to be married. He had been out with friends on the weekends flirting with other women and being innappropriate with them. So I took my daughter and moved in with my parents until I can get back on my feet.
We've talked and have seen each other several times and are on good terms, mainly because of our daughter. I'm very angry with him about the way he went about things at the end of our relationship (way more stuff than what i'll get into now) but I'm trying not to let that affect the way I am around him when my daughter is around. I know he'll be in my life forever because of her and I'm really trying to make this as easy as possible.

Anyway, the whole point of this rant tonight is that I saw him today to bring my daughter to him so they could see each other and I found out that he went on a date with someone. I don't know details or anything but he said he had gone on one first date since we'd been split but that he wasn't looking for anything serious, he just "wanted to meet new people"
Since we split, I've realized that we aren't meant to be married anymore and i've actually found myself not missing him much. I know that its for the best that we're not together anymore but it is absolutely killing me to know that he's been out on a date with another woman. I don't know what to do, one minute I'll be fine and not thinking about it and the next second it hits me that he's been out with someone and I start to get so anxious and panicky. I know that it's normal but I just need someone to tell me that this is going to get better. Even though I'm so mad at him for the things he's done and I know that we're not meant to be together it still hurts so much. I've never felt pain like this before. Ok..if you made it this far, here's a drink, :drink: you deserve it.

[roselis]

It does hurt. It will be a roller coaster for awhile, but it will get better in time. Even when you know the marriage is over and you don't want to be with him, it hurts knowing they moved on without you like you didn't even matter, right?. It is normal. I went through it too.
I still remember my hurt when I found out XH was dating the OW. Now, I don't even care. You WILL get through this and be stronger for it. The thing that helped me? Focusing on DS and rebuilding my own life.

[doriswe]

It does get better, but it takes a lot of time. Are you in counseling? I'd strongly recommend it because this ride is one hell of a roller coaster and it's nice to have someone who can help you navigate in a productive way.

Hang in there!

ETA: Also, stop talking to your XH about anything that doesn't have something to do with your DD.

[prettyinpearls]

I know it sounds cliché, but yes, it really DOES get better.

My XH just up and told me one day he didn’t love me anymore when I flat out asked him because he was being distant. We separated for a few months, then he came back home over Thanksgiving and lived with me and DS like we were a family. He told my dad that divorce wasn’t an option and that he missed our little family. Stupid me, I believed him. All the while, he’s denying being in a relationship with a co-worker, who I suspected he had been having an affair with. Long story short, a light bulb finally went off for me and I just didn’t care what he did anymore. I filed for divorce and signing those preliminary papers was one of the most liberating things I’ve ever done. Once I hit that moment, I never looked back.

I’m the happiest I’ve been in years, but it has very little to do with the fact I’m getting remarried. I was a completely different person before FF came into my life. I had taken the lessons I learned during my divorce and used those to focus on myself and DS, making our happiness a priority. You’ll get there too, I promise. It’s a painful ride, but once you come around that corner your life will be amazing and you’ll be thankful for the experiences that got you there. Stay strong!

[gozf]

It's a cliche, but it's true: time does heal all wounds. And waiting for that time to pass can be really, really hard. You will get there, though, and you will be fine. I promise.