How would you feel about this?

[Kit]

I’m still really good friends with a few of XH’s cousins. Apparently, last Tuesday, one of them called my fiancé to tell him that my XH had to put one of our dogs down. He had some stomach issue – I don’t know the details.

Anyway, I had no idea this happened until Saturday, when fiancé was on FB on his phone, next to me. I saw a message in his inbox from this cousin. I asked what it was about, and he wouldn’t tell me. Naturally, because I am not a fan of secrecy, I blew up. Finally, he told me. He said that they had kept it from me because I’m going through a lot right now, and my cat is also sick and doesn't have much longer to live (I’ve posted about him before). They were just afraid that I couldn’t handle it. I do have a lot going on right now that is stressing me out. So apparently they knew, the other cousins that I’m friends with knew, and my best friend knew. I’ve talked to all of them since this happened apparently last Tuesday and no one has said a peep.

I get where they were coming from, and their intentions were good, but clearly not well thought out. Were they going to wait until things got better and then spring it on me? “Hey, glad you’re feeling better, by the way, your dog died months ago.”

WTF.

I have mixed feelings. My fiancé feels awful and I know he didn’t intend to hurt me.

I’m upset about so many things right now.

[EmilieMadison]

That's really sad, I'm sorry.
Your ExH should have told you himself and your Fi shouldn't have been the one to get the message. That's just...weird. Why did someone tell HIM?
I understand their intentions and reasons for not telling you, but you're an adult and should be told about things up front.

[cahabalily]

I would be very upset, because no matter the intent, they all lied to you.

[Kit]

XH and I don't speak. Ever. He wouldn't have shared that with me. Cousin knew I am going through a lot and called fiance to see how it should be handled, I guess. I think she should have told me herself, though.

[SKP82]

Sept 4, 2012 8:53:15 GMT -5 EmilieMadison said:

That's really sad, I'm sorry.
Your ExH should have told you himself and your Fi shouldn't have been the one to get the message. That's just...weird. Why did someone tell HIM?
I understand their intentions and reasons for not telling you, but you're an adult and should be told about things up front.

I agree with all of this.

[partiallysunny]

I'd be upset that my FI and friend didn't think I could "handle" it.

Sorry about your dog

[Kit]

Sept 4, 2012 10:16:52 GMT -5 partiallysunny said:

I'd be upset that my FI and friend didn't think I could "handle" it.

Sorry about your dog

This is why I'm pissed too. I have a lot going on right now, sure, but it's not like I'm mentally unstable or something. Though at this point I'm not too far from it. Ugh.