Weird wedding invitation thing

[TR]

So BF's neighbor/friend is getting married. She asked for his middle name for the invitation (guess they gon' be fancy). He gave it to her and then gave her mine, but she said she only needed mine if we were engaged. Otherwise his invitation will just be addressed to BF MIDDLE LAST & Guest. Weird, right?

[happywife]

I think it's odd. I would only put guest if I didn't know who the person would bring

[mrsukyankee]

Very weird - you only do 'guest' if you don't know the person the guy/girl is dating.

[TR]

Right? I was like, "Well, just let me know if you'll be taking me or another guest!"

[speckledfrog]

Sounds like they are trying to be super formal traditional instead of normal.

[keyslover]

Um I think middle name of the guest is odd.
The non name (guest) part drives me insane. Yes, I get its etiquette. But, tunes have changed. Pretty sure the brides family isn't giving the grooms a few cows

[TR]

May 28, 2016 14:26:52 GMT -5 loonylunalovegood said:

I imagine if they're going to be fancy enough to include middle names on the invite, they're following every Emily Post etiquette rule to the letter. I'm pretty sure only saying "and guest" for anyone not engaged or more is an old fashioned etiquette rule.

It is still weird though.

Ok, this wouldn't surprise me. Her family has a LOT of money and she seems like the type to go all out. She throws very elaborate parties with printed menus and place cards and stuff. I did not know that was an actual etiquette rule. 

[W.T.Faulkner]

Formal etiquette or not, that's super dumb. lol

[dexteroni]

It sounds like she's using her great grandma's wedding etiquette book. Definitely weird by today's standards.

[sonrisa]

weird. But I'm guessing most women don't get names. If they are that old fashioned, they are probably going the "Mrs. and Mr. John Quincy Adams" route. You'll be in good company with all the other pissed off people.

[happyholiday]

May 28, 2016 14:30:59 GMT -5 @mama2b said:

The only time we are careful when addressing envelopes is for our southern relatives. Apparently if you don't do it right it can offend.

Yeah, I was wondering if it was a super duper formal southern thing. It reminds me of the time I taught at a well-to-do private school in NC. On the panflete that had the teachers' info, all the married female teachers were listed as "Mrs. Husband's first name last name (actual teacher's first name). Fucked up.

[Deleted]

I had a hard enough time getting our parents to provide addresses.

Middle names would have caused me to elope and invite no one.



I vote huge pain in the ass and lots of upcoming bridezilla moments

[bugandbibs]

Do you guys live together? If so, that's super shitty. If you don't, I can see wanting to put down "and guest".

[wesleycrusher4ever]

The last super fancy southern wedding I went to was like. My friend knows my SO's name and we live together, but it only had my full name on the invitation.

[TR]

May 28, 2016 14:42:42 GMT -5 bugandbibs said:

Do you guys live together? If so, that's super shitty. If you don't, I can see wanting to put down "and guest".

Not yet. I'm moving in when my lease is up at the end of September, but she doesn't necessarily know that. 

[Eagles]

It's an old school formal etiquette rule.

[eb777888]

Oh, jeez! /eyeroll

[MixedBerryJam]

May 28, 2016 14:37:29 GMT -5 happyholiday said:

May 28, 2016 14:30:59 GMT -5 @mama2b said:

The only time we are careful when addressing envelopes is for our southern relatives. Apparently if you don't do it right it can offend.

Yeah, I was wondering if it was a super duper formal southern thing. It reminds me of the time I taught at a well-to-do private school in NC. On the panflete that had the teachers' info, all the married female teachers were listed as "Mrs. Husband's first name last name (actual teacher's first name). Fucked up.

Boy this brought me back. This was how my mom used to sign things like notes to the school about an absence. She was neither formal nor from the south. I never knew where it came from.

[underwaterrhymes]

We invited everyone with a guest and only used "& Guest" if they didn't have a SO.

[sparkythelawyer]

Look, my wedding invites were formal as fuck and I still made sure to but guest names down when I knew them.

[boxertdog]

So you're invited but don't warrant being addressed on the envelope? Super weird.

[Deleted]

It's odd that she said she'd only take it if you were engaged!  
If I knew who a person was bringing then I'd put their name.  If I didn't know (or they were unlikely to bring a guest at all) it was just "& guest".  

[statgirl]

I got engaged in February and married in May in the middle of a million weddings. One couple (wedding a month after mine) included me on my parents invitation and didn't invite my husband at all. Yes, they knew I was getting married--her parents sent a gravy boat. 10 years later and I still wonder why I was even included on the invite. We also got a "and guest" invite from an acquaintance around then--we had been dating for 8 years. Signed--from the Deep South and they still messed up.

[copperboom]

I absolutely HATE being referred to as Mrs. H'sFirstandLast. Rage. I have a name, damnit. Use it.

[jennistarr1]

May 28, 2016 19:06:33 GMT -5 Queen Dick, Hibernating Bear said:

First middle last is just for the criminals on America's Most Wanted

True, when I have to work with a patient and they present their name this way I think "serial killer"

[m1and1m]

We were super formal with our invites (a long long time ago) and I still refused to put "and guest" on any invites. It was a small wedding though, so the single people who were invited got a phone call telling them they were welcome to bring somebody.
DH and I got in an argument about putting his buddy's fiancées name on their invite, though. He was saying that his *friend* was the one that was invited, not her, and he didn't want her showing up if they split up before our wedding. Because yes, I'm sure she would have flown to another state to attend the wedding of her ex's HS friend that she barely knew.
I won that fight, thank god.

[sonrisa]

May 28, 2016 19:24:21 GMT -5 copperboom said:

I absolutely HATE being referred to as Mrs. H'sFirstandLast. Rage. I have a name, damnit. Use it.

Yep. I'd rather be "and Guest"

That suggests I have an identity, I'm just unknown to the host. Mrs. MrSonrisa is a holdover from coverture when a woman stopped having an independent legal existence upon marriage. You couldn't sign your own name to a binding legal document, so why did you need a name anyways?