Clicky Poll: Would you be open to your spouse being SAH?

[ilikedonuts]

Yes because that's exactly how it is for us with me staying at home. If I had his job and benefits, he'd love to stay home!

[bears]

My husband would go crazy with the kids and he's admitted as much.

If I had a H who would enjoy SAH and we could swing it, I would not have an issue with it.

[mainelyfoolish]

I am a SAHM, so in your scenario, if I had my DH's job/income, I voted that he could SAH. However, if he chose to do that, he'd have to get a hell of a lot better at doing the things I normally do around the house. I would not work full time and do all the household management that I currently do; the SAH parent has to take on a higher load of home/family tasks.

[miamigirl]

I'd make sure that retirement was on track before making the decision.

[anna7602]

I would be happy with DH SAH, but I don't think he would be. I cant see it working with his personality, even if I magically found a job to support both of us.

[Deleted]

Yes, because my husband does stay at home. It's the freaking life people - I'm talking for me! He has done this for 2.5 years since our son was 6 months old and we decided he was going to go back to grad school.

[Saudade]

Yes. He'd be so good at it. But he wouldn't be fulfilled and so it won't happen.

[cricketwife]

I voted no because- Neither of us wants to or would be good at it. Well, H probably would be good at it, Also, we've talked about neither of us wanting the full responsibility of earning all the money for the family.

[Mrs.flang]

I wouldn't be happy to give up the extras. I also feel like I might become resentful even though I hate that I would be like that. But if he expressed a desire and we could make it work I would do what I could to give it a try.

[rootbeerfloat]

Sure. He would probably still bring in music income because that's his dream. I would have flamefully high expectations of how clean our house would be lol, but otherwise, it would work for us.

[glitzy07]

To a degree. I'm not saying I would be an amazing SAHM (I wouldn't), but I'd still manage to keep the house together as well as I do now. But if I was the breadwinner and H stayed at home, I could count on my kids having a great time every day but the other stuff not getting done. So if I had to work longer hours and still grocery shop, do laundry, keep things tidy, etc...no. If H could manage a balance, yes.

[steamboat185]

DH would be a great SAHD, but we both have financial goals that would need to be met and they include retiring on the early side. If we couldn't meet that goal I think he'd keep working.

[laurenh]

Yes. My H stayed home for 15 months with DD1.

[Yankees21]

I don't like working so I'd be jealous! Maybe if I was in a job/career I loved.

[cricketwife]

Jun 13, 2016 19:26:50 GMT -5 @starry said:

Jun 13, 2016 19:24:00 GMT -5 cricketwife said:

I voted no because- Neither of us wants to or would be good at it. Well, H probably would be good at it, Also, we've talked about neither of us wanting the full responsibility of earning all the money for the family.

I worry about this too with both of us being subjected to the whims of the corporate world. Part of me thinks - might as well get it while we can. Save SAH for the inevitable layoff. I am so whompy about it all but I've seen it happen in both our families. Luckily my mom was a reservist so she kept a foot in the door and was able to jump in full time pretty quickly when the corporate world screwed my dad (who eventually built up a great private practice, but still stressful at the time).

Are you actually thinking about SAH or are these all just hypotheticals? 

[CheeringCharm]

DH always says that if our positions were reversed and I made what he makes now, he'd LOVE to SAH. (To be honest though, I think he romanticizes it a lot. I also think he envisions a lot of golf in this scenario - LOL to that). I think I could be into it too. I do think he would be really good at it, probably better than me. He has the right type of personality for it, I think. He is very laid back about crumbs, for example. lol. Too bad there isn't a time machine so I could go back and major in economics  

[sh10]

DH wouldn't want to stay home, nor would I want him to SAH. I think if he had to, he would rise to the challenge. I enjoy SAH with DS and finding activities for us to do, but enjoy teaching part time. DH would go crazy at home full time, as I would too.

[bunch]

My dh would probably rock it now that the kids are older.

Honestly though, we've been doing it this way for so long that I don't think we could handle a switch. The thought of me actually earning money and him learning how to spend it is just too foreign. Lol.

[CloudBee]

My husband wouldn't survive as a SAHD. I think come Monday he's ready to go to work. Now that he has less to do around the house (as I SAH, now) he seems to enjoy his job MORE. lol

[ECB]

Yes. DH works a 2 week on/2 week off schedule and I LOVE when he's home. He's a great house husband and SAHD. I"m already the breadwinner anyhow. But sadly we can't afford for him to not work at all.

[Brie]

Neither of us would be good at SAH and we both know that. So, no, because I think he would be depressed.

[pugz]

If I liked working and made good money, yes. DH would love to SAH. I

[ewall]

Yes. It was a discussion we had prior to TTC. DH is a trailing spouse. I travel for work. If we couldn't manage childcare and my work travel, he would SAH. Fortunately, he rocks solo parenting and working full time. I recently received a promotion which would easily allow him to SAH, but he has no desire to at this point...mostly for his own personal sanity. We love daycare!

[ssmjlm]

We had once talked about moving somewhere cheaper, DH taking a bigger backseat career wise and him staying home. He said he still wanted to be able to afford preschool and activities so he wasn't bored at home.

But in reality, he talks a good game, but he couldn't do it. We both need the break. I bet he would love to be PT and spend more time with E if it worked financially.

[Pilsy]

I don't enjoy my job enough to support this fully and not be resentful.

I'm almost embarrassed to admit that, but oh well.


ETA: He has no desire whatsoever to stay home, so maybe that makes me less of a jerk?  

[bowies]

No.

[lolo]

I do not think it would be a good long term fit, but we have talked about him doing it as a short term paternity leave situation with #2.

[timorousbeastie]

In a hypothetical world where I made what he makes, and where he would actually want to SAH, I'd be fine with it. However, I have no possibility of ever making the amount of money he does (nor do I have any interest in the stress that comes along with such a job), and he has no interest in staying at home. So hypothetically yes, but in reality no.

[raangoli]

Yes but I would hate that we couldn't fully fund all retirement. With that stipulation, he wouldn't want to SAH either.

[megkat]

Yup. DH is kind of a SAHD now (he watches DD and our twin nieces, and my sister pays him a small hourly amount). It works perfectly for us- I work and I'm in grad school right now, so he does the bulk of the childcare and household chores. Is the house always cleaned to my standard? Nope. Are DD's meals always as balanced and healthy as I would like? Nope. Does she watch more Sesame Street and Barney than I'd really prefer? Yup. But at the end of the day, he's happy, DD is happy and well cared for, and he has a great relationship with our nieces. It's a great setup and we're all super happy with it.