Disability Community Protesting "Me Before You"

[Brie]

I knew nothing about this movie before reading this article, but...holy everloving fuck.  Is this a real movie plot?  Who the actual hell thought this was a good idea?

My son has CP and this make me want to throw things.

www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/me-before-you-disability_us_575add48e4b00f97fba81730?section=women&


People with disabilities are over the way they’re portrayed in pop culture.

So much so that disability activists have taken to Twitter to express their disdain over Hollywood’s latest offense, “Me Before You.”

The film, based on a novel of the same name by British author Jojo Moyes, has been marketed as a quirky, opposites-attract love story between a man named Will, played by actor Sam Claflin, who becomes paralyzed from the neck down due to a motorcycle accident, and his bubbly caregiver, Louisa played by “Game of Thrones” star Emilia Clarke.

To many, the mere fact that there was a major movie starring a quadriplegic character as a romantic lead was thrilling. As Ryan O’Connell, a writer who has cerebral palsy and who discusses having had low self-worth as a child, expressed in an essay written for Vulture: “I was like, ‘OMG, YASSSSSS! Disability is finally in vogue! Let’s get that shit trending on Twitter!’”
ASSOCIATED PRESS

What’s begun to trend on Twitter is the hashtag #MeBeforeEuthanasia — a blatant rejection by disability activists about the movie’s message: that life with a disability is not worth living.
ASSOCIATED PRESS

Will, who is a handsome playboy before the motorcycle accident that renders him disabled, wants to go to Switzerland, where it’s legal to have an assisted suicide, and end his life. He is convinced to wait six months before doing so, during which he meets Louisa, or Lou, his able-bodied caregiver who tries to convince Will that life is still worth living despite his disability. The pair fall in love, but Will decides to go through with the assisted suicide nonetheless and leaves Lou a bunch of cash so she can “live boldly” without him or his bothersome disability.

And thus, #MeBeforeEuthanasia blew up:

Some even reclaimed the movie’s promotional hashtag “#LiveBoldly” with images of people with disabilities and disability advocates boldly protesting the film:

The problem, as O’Connell writes in his essay, is that:

“’Me Before You’ reminded me that so often, when able-bodied people do acknowledge the disabled, it’s tinged with pity for their condition — and that’s just as problematic.”

O’Connell later adds: “Since people don’t really know how to treat [people with disabilities] like human beings, they put on their kid gloves, make a lot of sympathetic sad faces and call it a day. ‘Me Before You’ is the movie version of exactly that.”

Dominick Evans, a filmmaker and well-known disability activist on Twitter, has been actively protesting “Me Before You” since he watched the trailer in February.

“Watching the trailer made me really upset, because I was able to quickly figure out that he was going to kill himself,” Evans told Film Obsession. “The way he spoke about disability was really ableist. The way Sam ‘acts’ disabled relies on physical stereotyping of disability.”

Ultimately, Evans fails to see what’s romantic about the movie in the first place.

“Louisa and Will are only in each other’s lives for six months, and much of that time Will is sullen, withdrawn and sometimes verbally abusive to Louisa,” he told Film Obsession. “She is always cheerful as she attempts to take on the role of non-disabled savior in his life. However, they only have a few moments of true romance. The first time she actually kisses him, he tells her to stop, because love is not enough. Death is better. There is absolutely nothing romantic about that.”

[TR]

It's a book made into a movie. And when I read it, I really didn't get the message that all disabled people should just kill themselves. What I got was that it's important for people to have the choice about their own lives.

[chedifuen]

I only read the book (pure crap) but the message wasn't at all the disabled people should kill themselves. It was that people should be able to make choices about their own body and fate. He concluded that he was in too much pain, mentally and physically, to go on.

[isabel]

Jun 14, 2016 10:27:53 GMT -5 TR said:

It's a book made into a movie. And when I read it, I really didn't get the message that all disabled people should just kill themselves. What I got was that it's important for people to have the choice about their own lives.

This book has been on my to-read list. Your interpretation of the message was the same as mine though based on reading the synopsis and this article. It doesn't strike me as promoting assisted suicide for the disabled, it's about making a choice based on your personal circumstances.

[ijack]

Jun 14, 2016 10:36:25 GMT -5 toledo said:

Jun 14, 2016 10:27:53 GMT -5 TR said:

It's a book made into a movie. And when I read it, I really didn't get the message that all disabled pople should just kill themselves. What I got was that it's important for people to have the choice about their own lives.

Yes. Also, Will's family and Louisa are all vehemently opposed to his choice and have a fair amount of anger at him for making it. It's not as though the conclusion of the book is "people with disabilities are without value." Quite the opposite.

I mean, I don't have a disability and can't speak for those protesting and how they perceived it. But some of the summaries of the story seem incomplete in the reports I've seen about this.

I agree with all of this. Also it's important to keep in mind that the character was in an accident that rendered him a quadriplegic, which I think is a very different thing than growing up with a disability. I think it's very common in these situations to struggle with your worth and place in life. If you'd read the book you'd know he was in an immense about of pain and had to rely on someone to do almost everything for him. HE decided that wasn't a life that he wanted to live and IMO that's ok.
Obviously I'm not a part of the disabled community, and thus can't really comment on how they feel about it. But I think it's reaching to say that the message of this movie is that disabled people should commit suicide.

[StrawberryBlondie]

This movie makes me really embarrassed for the actors.

[leeba25]

Also, the book was very good about showing the difficulties that Will faced ... not just that it's hard to do things with quadriplegia, which, of course. But about the pain he suffered, all the time, unending pain in absolutely everything.

[AJL]

Jun 14, 2016 10:43:51 GMT -5 StrawberryBlondie said:

This movie makes me really embarrassed for the actors.

Why? 

[Brie]

Interesting. Like I said, I don't know much about the movie or book.

I imagine it has to be frustrating for people with disabilities to finally see a character with a disability in a movie, as a romantic lead no less, only to have them live such an awful existence and commit suicide. Obviously that is the reality of some individuals, but many also figure out how to lead normal, fulfilling lives after a disabling incident.

There is a show on ABC premiering this fall, "Speechless," with a teen with CP in a leading role. I am interested to see how that plays out. It looks promising.

[pantsparty]

Jun 14, 2016 10:27:53 GMT -5 TR said:

It's a book made into a movie. And when I read it, I really didn't get the message that all disabled people should just kill themselves. What I got was that it's important for people to have the choice about their own lives.

This was my interpretation as well. I'm not disabled, so maybe my point-of-view is skewed, but I read it as a personal choice for the character, not for all disabled people.

[StrawberryBlondie]

Jun 14, 2016 10:46:42 GMT -5 AJL said:

Jun 14, 2016 10:43:51 GMT -5 StrawberryBlondie said:

This movie makes me really embarrassed for the actors.

Why? 

Because i like both main actors and the movie looks like pure crap.

Kind of like how Sisters made me embarrassed for Amy Pohler.

[pantsparty]

Jun 14, 2016 10:52:18 GMT -5 Brie said:

I imagine it has to be frustrating for people with disabilities to finally see a character with a disability in a movie, as a romantic lead no less, only to have them live such an awful existence and commit suicide.  

I watched a video not too long ago (I think it was Buzzfeed) where the question was posed to people of many ethnicities, "When did you first feel represented?" A black woman, for instance, felt represented by the role of Tiana in the The Princess and the Frog. It really made me think about the fact that a lot of art features predominantly white people. So I can see how someone who is disabled would be quite put off by this movie.

[ESF]

I can understand why the disability rights community is frustrated. There are not many roles with disabled people in movies and TV, and even fewer roles for whom the disability is not the plot line. They get one, and its about a guy who wants to kill himself because of his disability. There actually is a lot of ongoing tension between the disability rights movement and death with dignity, and to dismiss their concerns because a story about death with dignity is important is to dismiss an important point of view in how we are to best move forward with those kinds of laws.

[froggy76]

The book is crap, but as PPs said, it wasn't really about disabled people. It raises the question of whether people should have the right to end their lives with dignity. I get why disabled people would be upset, though.

[miniroller]

I read this book with one of my book clubs last fall & we went & saw the movie last weekend. I'm glad I sat by the new mom who had pp-emotions, so she bawled right along with me. I enjoyed the movie (& the book).
Of course there are parts I would slightly modify, but that's true in most movies. And I just explained to my friends how difficult it is to please everyone in representing a situation that is truly unique per each individual experience. There's no "disability umbrella" if you will. In any case, I certainly disagree with the protests, but definitely don't fault people for being unable to relate. I just wish they wouldn't hold the character to an unrealistic expectation.

Suicide is sadly pretty common in the disability community. I absolutely embraced how JoJo Moyes honestly portrayed these characters; however, I did read it as a lighter read/ tried not to get too emotionally involved. But again, I can understand how others disagree, & certainly don't fault them for that.

[downtoearth]

This is interesting. I am interested to read or watch the movie more b/c of the controversy. PDQ: Our friend group is dealing with a friend who has recently had an accident leaving him either a quad or paraplegic and my DH and I have had some serious talks about quality of life and concerns with suicide when confronted with this disability.

[notsocreepylurker]

I may be simplifying the matter but I am going to use my stance I learned on this board (in relation to race).

I am not disabled nor living with a disability. If people who are feel this movie is worth protesting/not a good representation then I will take their word for it as I have not walked a minute of their life.

[Brie]

I am reading more in my CP group on FB and it appears that the movie is not as nuanced as the book--it doesn't really show him in pain or suffering at all.

[phdprocrastinator]

Jun 14, 2016 10:56:02 GMT -5 pantsparty said:

Jun 14, 2016 10:52:18 GMT -5 Brie said:

I imagine it has to be frustrating for people with disabilities to finally see a character with a disability in a movie, as a romantic lead no less, only to have them live such an awful existence and commit suicide.  

I watched a video not too long ago (I think it was Buzzfeed) where the question was posed to people of many ethnicities, "When did you first feel represented?" A black woman, for instance, felt represented by the role of Tiana in the The Princess and the Frog. It really made me think about the fact that a lot of art features predominantly white people. So I can see how someone who is disabled would be quite put off by this movie.

Yes, this is the sentiment I've heard from the disabled community.  Basically, there was great excitement to learn that a movie portrayed someone with a disability because so many simply don't.  Then they realized the movie would use an actor in "cripface" and eyebrows were raised (same happened with Glee). Finally, the plot of the movie was shared round and you can imagine the blow that "once again" having a disability was being treated as a fate worse than death (literally).

So, while there may be a valid point that people should have the right to choose death and this story may be a great way of sharing it, the frustration is that this is the primary story being shared about being disabled... and most people who are disabled don't feel this way.

I've seen people liken it to the fact that most mainstream movies cast black actors as criminals or maids.  Yes, there are interesting stories that can and should be told about the criminal justice system and/or the lives of the working class, but there are other important stories, too. Those stories are silenced.

[ijack]

Jun 14, 2016 12:21:24 GMT -5 Brie said:

I am reading more in my CP group on FB and it appears that the movie is not as nuanced as the book--it doesn't really show him in pain or suffering at all.

That makes sense (because usually most movies aren't as nuanced). In the book they talk a lot about his pain and how miserable he is. Not only because of his limitations, but because of the pain

[Brie]

Jun 14, 2016 12:34:02 GMT -5 ijack said:

Jun 14, 2016 12:21:24 GMT -5 Brie said:

I am reading more in my CP group on FB and it appears that the movie is not as nuanced as the book--it doesn't really show him in pain or suffering at all.

That makes sense (because usually most movies aren't as nuanced). In the book they talk a lot about his pain and how miserable he is. Not only because of his limitations, but because of the pain

Yeah, someone who saw the movie says that it is very much presented as he wants to commit suicide because he can't live life on his own terms/he feels like living life as a paraplegic isn't worth living.  Which...yeah.  I can see why that would upset the disability community.
Save

[snshne322]

Jun 14, 2016 12:37:26 GMT -5 Brie said:

Jun 14, 2016 12:34:02 GMT -5 ijack said:

That makes sense (because usually most movies aren't as nuanced). In the book they talk a lot about his pain and how miserable he is. Not only because of his limitations, but because of the pain

Yeah, someone who saw the movie says that it is very much presented as he wants to commit suicide because he can't live life on his own terms/he feels like living life as a paraplegic isn't worth living.  Which...yeah.  I can see why that would upset the disability community.
Save

I've both read the book and see the movie and I agree with this.  The book dove a lot more into his pain, while the movie made mention of it maybe once. 

[suzannesugarbaker]

Jun 14, 2016 10:36:25 GMT -5 toledo said:

Jun 14, 2016 10:27:53 GMT -5 TR said:

It's a book made into a movie. And when I read it, I really didn't get the message that all disabled pople should just kill themselves. What I got was that it's important for people to have the choice about their own lives.

Yes. Also, Will's family and Louisa are all vehemently opposed to his choice and have a fair amount of anger at him for making it. It's not as though the conclusion of the book is "people with disabilities are without value." Quite the opposite.

I mean, I don't have a disability and can't speak for those protesting and how they perceived it. But some of the summaries of the story seem incomplete in the reports I've seen about this.

Totally agree. I read the book and really enjoyed it (although it ripped my heart out). I didn't get that message at all. I haven't seen the movie though. 

[frlcb]

Jun 14, 2016 12:54:59 GMT -5 snshne322 said:

Jun 14, 2016 12:37:26 GMT -5 Brie said:

Yeah, someone who saw the movie says that it is very much presented as he wants to commit suicide because he can't live life on his own terms/he feels like living life as a paraplegic isn't worth living.  Which...yeah.  I can see why that would upset the disability community.
Save

I've both read the book and see the movie and I agree with this.  The book dove a lot more into his pain, while the movie made mention of it maybe once. 

Really? I saw the movie and disagree. I won't spoil (in case anyone cares to see it) but they talk more than once about his pain, and the meds he needs (including when she spends the night the first time and when he ends up in the hospital). 

Saying that it definitely does talk about how he doesn't want to live his life that way, because he was very active before his accident. I didn't feel like either the book or the movie was glamorizing suicide. 

I also have never heard so much sniffling in a theater in my life. 

[Saint Monica]

Aren't caregivers not supposed to have relations with their clients?

[ttt]

I can understand why people are upset too. If there was tons of movies featuring disabled characters in lead roles, then this would be less significant and would be just another story. But when there are so very few, I can understand why they'd be upset that it's about a disabled person committing suicide as a result of his disability.

[sfy]

Jun 14, 2016 13:46:54 GMT -5 Saint Monica said:

Aren't caregivers not supposed to have relations with their clients?

I have neither seen the movie nor read the book, but it was my impression from the trailer that she worked for the family in a domestic capacity and began taking care of him/spending time with him because of the accident.  I don't think she was any sort of licensed nurse or caregiver, but rather someone already acquainted with him who slipped into the role.

I understand both sides of this, but ultimately, if people with disabilities are offended by this, I respect that.  Much like other underrepresented groups, I also respect and expect that there is not likely a consensus, as they are not a monolith.

[ijack]

Jun 14, 2016 14:03:12 GMT -5 sfy said:

Jun 14, 2016 13:46:54 GMT -5 Saint Monica said:

Aren't caregivers not supposed to have relations with their clients?

I have neither seen the movie nor read the book, but it was my impression from the trailer that she worked for the family in a domestic capacity and began taking care of him/spending time with him because of the accident.  I don't think she was any sort of licensed nurse or caregiver, but rather someone already acquainted with him who slipped into the role.

I understand both sides of this, but ultimately, if people with disabilities are offended by this, I respect that.  Much like other underrepresented groups, I also respect and expect that there is not likely a consensus, as they are not a monolith.

She was hired to be a "companion" to him. She has absolutely no training, but they just decided he needed someone to keep him company and she needed a job so she took it.

[snshne322]

Jun 14, 2016 13:41:04 GMT -5 frlcb said:

Jun 14, 2016 12:54:59 GMT -5 snshne322 said:

I've both read the book and see the movie and I agree with this.  The book dove a lot more into his pain, while the movie made mention of it maybe once. 

Really? I saw the movie and disagree. I won't spoil (in case anyone cares to see it) but they talk more than once about his pain, and the meds he needs (including when she spends the night the first time and when he ends up in the hospital). 

Saying that it definitely does talk about how he doesn't want to live his life that way, because he was very active before his accident. I didn't feel like either the book or the movie was glamorizing suicide. 

I also have never heard so much sniffling in a theater in my life. 

You're right, my apologies. I did forget those parts of the scenes.

[aurora]

I have a close loved one with a serious spinal chord injury so I can't pretend to be dispassionate about this. Knowing that for a long time after his injury he wanted to die still brings tears to my eyes more than a decade later.

He is now generally happy in life and definitely glad he did not die. But it took him a while to get there.

I can very much see how (some? many? most?) people in the disability community would be unhappy with one of the very few big movies dealing with disability ends with the main character choosing suicide. If this were one of a million movies it would certainly feel different to me.

Disclaimer: I have neither seen the movie nor read the book.