@ trigger – Interview with woman who had abortion at 32 wks

[juliej]

Not for the faint of heart. 

jezebel.com/interview-with-a-woman-who-recently-had-an-abortion-at-1781972395

[anonymous]

I have nothing but the utmost empathy for this woman.

[ijack]

Wow. There is so much about this article that is just too much. Her husband not being with her for the shot? Being on the L&D floor for delivery - I mean that broke me when I was admitted at 23w and I still even had the chance of a live baby at that point. Having to pull the baby out. All of it is so horrible.
Our country is so fucked up.

[summer]

thank you for posting. how awful.

[sushi]

This part really jumped out at me.

nother thing I want to say is that yes, I had this very particular, horrible situation—but if I had had an abortion at 20 weeks just because I didn’t feel ready, that should be okay, too. Like it or not, all of our rights are intertwined. Maybe there’s some woman who has had four abortions and maybe that feels really wrong to you. But my rights are wrapped up with hers, so I have to fight like fuck for her to have as many as she wants—not just for her sake, but for mine, too.

[isabel]

Fuck. I really should not have read that at work. It's gut wrenching.

[Nonny]

Wow. That was a heavy, but good read. This whole part really sticks out to me:

I can’t help but think about other people who have been through late-term abortions. I know that it’s not common, but it does happen. It makes me feel angry that we can’t just have an honest conversation about it—that we can’t talk about it scientifically or practically. It all has to be talked about in these couched terms that are ultimately religious and it just makes me crazy.

Another thing I want to say is that yes, I had this very particular, horrible situation—but if I had had an abortion at 20 weeks just because I didn’t feel ready, that should be okay, too. Like it or not, all of our rights are intertwined. Maybe there’s some woman who has had four abortions and maybe that feels really wrong to you. But my rights are wrapped up with hers, so I have to fight like fuck for her to have as many as she wants—not just for her sake, but for mine, too. If I ever have a daughter, the way things are currently going, she’s going to be fucked if she ever goes through this.

One of my mom’s best friends is this guy from the Middle East, a very pro-America conservative immigrant who thinks that rightful immigration ended with him. He’s a Fox News watcher. He was telling us once how we can’t allow refugees into this country because we’ll end up with Sharia law in small-town America. And I keep thinking about that—that crazy idea—because what do we have now? Abortion law is Christian Sharia law, based on religion and emotion.

[Kristinmo]

From the comments, in case anyone here wants to donate:

The only way to donate is to make out a check directly to the office or to him (Warren M. Hern) and send it in the mail to

1130 Alpine Avenue

Boulder, Colorado 80304 USA

[thebulldog]

Sent from my SM-G900P using proboards

[mbcdefg]

Oh, that poor woman. 

And the amount of money they had to fork over. JFC.

[cville]

She is amazing, as is Dr. Hern.

I wish I could formulate a viable plan to roll back the outrageous abortion restrictions everywhere. I don't even know what to do. Every little victory is swallowed up by so many losses.

[awick14]

Wow, so much empathy to that woman and her H. I can't imagine making that decision.

It's horrible that there are so many laws around having later term abortions. Some medical problems can't be found out until later in pregnancy and people should have the right to TFMR at any point;

[lagom]

Wow. I'm still processing, but thank you for posting this.

[darnkatz]

This breaks my heart. I cannot imagine how gut wrenching it must be to make this decision. I cannot imagine making this decision and being prevented from doing what you think is right for your child. If you get a grim diagnosis, this will be one of the only decisions you ever get to make for your baby for their entire life. It is cruel to stop parents from ending their child's pain sooner rather than later.

[AJL]

$25,000 in cash. Let that sink in. That's how much it costs to have the entire procedure done on location at the clinic CO.

[scribellesam]

I'm embarrassed to say that the money aspect of a late term abortion has never occurred to me. In her situation, I would have had to carry to term. That kind of money simply does not exist.

[awick14]

scribellesam- I would probably have to carry to term as well. But with someone with other medical conditions I couldn't even imagine what would/could go wrong if she wasn't even allowed to go into labour on her own anyways.

[aurora]

I am so angry that someone else's religious beliefs chased this woman so much heartache on top of the pain of losing her child.

What will happen when Dr Hern can no longer practice?

[karinothing]

That poor woman (and husband). I don't understand why the doctors couldn't knock her out to perform the procedure. I mean if she couldn't push wouldn't it make sense to have her be asleep for it? I can't imagine having to go through all that. What an amazing doctor Dr. Hern is (and his staff).

[WanderingWinoZ]

TFS.

These are the stories that need to be told. I'm so sorry for her pain &y suffering, but I applaud her bravery in writing this piece.

I keep coming back to the radicalism (christian & muslim) is just so awful (the abortion stuff, the LGBQ hate, the treatment of women in general)

[MrsPenny]

I've been there. Not that far along but close. It was not a choice I wanted to make. I judged myself so bad while telling the nurse that yes, I had a previous abortion. I didn't look at it as an abortion. It was a loss. An inevitable loss. People like Dr. Hern and Dr. Tiller are my heroes. I dread the day no one can mentally or physically afford to be like them. Bless this strong ass woman.

[lexxasaurus]

Jun 15, 2016 15:23:45 GMT -5 Kristinmo said:

From the comments, in case anyone here wants to donate:

The only way to donate is to make out a check directly to the office or to him (Warren M. Hern) and send it in the mail to

1130 Alpine Avenue

Boulder, Colorado 80304 USA

I live a short drive from his clinic and feel so blessed to have this option accessible if I were to need it. I hurt for this woman, that she had to go through this, that having $10,000 readily available and flying halfway across the country was the only way. :/

I recommend the documentary After Tiller. They do a large part of it on Dr. Hern, and him and his staff are just amazing. They are truly caring, kind souls that risk their lives daily to save these women's lives. I have no idea what will happen when he's no longer able to provide medical treatment.

[Waffles]

That poor woman. Having had to make that decision is bad enough, it is disgusting that they had to pay so much money to end it.

And the alternative had she not been able to access Dr Hern's clinic is even more gut wrenching.

It is simply inhumane.

[wambam]

For some reason, the bulletproof glass was the part that really upset me. These people are risking their lives every single day and that's amazing and awful at the same time to me. Hats off to them.

[caramia]

I read this while feeding my 11 mo and rocking her to sleep at 3 am. That could have been me. DD has Spina Bifida & epilepsy. She has global developmental delays. We don't know if she'll ever live on her own.
We were given the option to terminate when she was diagnosed with SB at 21 weeks. We obviously chose not to, because her prognosis wasn't that bad, but epilepsy has really slowed her development and made our lives so much harder. She's amazing and sweet and totally worth it, but there's no fucking way I could be her mom without my husband and the ability to be a SAHM and amazing insurance. Without those factors, I would have had an abortion. Well, maybe. If I could have afforded it somehow.
No one should have to make that choice - scrape together so much money or watch your child die painfully / spend the rest of your life parenting a child who has severe medical needs that you can't handle. I know I'm making this all about me, but it just breaks my heart. It's so fucked up.

[isabel]

(((caramia))) This is about you. And all the other women who have had to face this decision. You, and all these women, are strong and amazing mothers regardless of the decision that has to be made.

[was5]

Jun 15, 2016 19:30:32 GMT -5 karinothing said:

That poor woman (and husband). I don't understand why the doctors couldn't knock her out to perform the procedure. I mean if she couldn't push wouldn't it make sense to have her be asleep for it? I can't imagine having to go through all that. What an amazing doctor Dr. Hern is (and his staff).

I think they were trying to avoid abdominal surgery if possible. They thought the epidural would work and she wouldn't feel anything, so why add major surgery on top of everything else. But, if I had a choice I would have just done the C-section from the start. Yes, it takes more time to heal physically, but the added mental anguish of being awake when someone was pulling the baby out of you. That would be terrible even if the epi had worked and she was physically numb. Ugh I just can't imagine. My heart breaks for her.

[karinothing]

Jun 16, 2016 7:35:02 GMT -5 was5 said:

Jun 15, 2016 19:30:32 GMT -5 karinothing said:

That poor woman (and husband). I don't understand why the doctors couldn't knock her out to perform the procedure. I mean if she couldn't push wouldn't it make sense to have her be asleep for it? I can't imagine having to go through all that. What an amazing doctor Dr. Hern is (and his staff).

I think they were trying to avoid abdominal surgery if possible. They thought the epidural would work and she wouldn't feel anything, so why add major surgery on top of everything else. But, if I had a choice I would have just done the C-section from the start. Yes, it takes more time to heal physically, but the added mental anguish of being awake when someone was pulling the baby out of you. That would be terrible even if the epi had worked and she was physically numb. Ugh I just can't imagine. My heart breaks for her.

I guess I  more meant why did she need to be awake for the vaginal delivery. If she didn't need to push why put her all through that. Just knock her out when it is time to give birth.

[CheeringCharm]

There are only 4 doctors in the country who will do this procedure? Something has GOT to change. I don't understand how pro life people can read pieces like this and not understand that they're torturing people by legislating their beliefs. It's so heartbreaking.

[LoveTrains]

Jun 16, 2016 7:41:18 GMT -5 karinothing said:

Jun 16, 2016 7:35:02 GMT -5 was5 said:

I think they were trying to avoid abdominal surgery if possible. They thought the epidural would work and she wouldn't feel anything, so why add major surgery on top of everything else. But, if I had a choice I would have just done the C-section from the start. Yes, it takes more time to heal physically, but the added mental anguish of being awake when someone was pulling the baby out of you. That would be terrible even if the epi had worked and she was physically numb. Ugh I just can't imagine. My heart breaks for her.

I guess I  more meant why did she need to be awake for the vaginal delivery. If she didn't need to push why put her all through that. Just knock her out when it is time to give birth.

Yes I was thinking almost like that "twilight birth" that they used to do in the 1950s/1960s and that you see in Mad Men when January Jones has her third child as Betty Draper. 

My sister had to have a very late term termination because of an incompatible with life situation. It was awful. As she described it to me, it was very similar. She was given a shot to stop the heart of her son and then she had to deliver him. They were able to see him after he was born still. They mourn his loss and they had a special tree planted in his memory around Green Lake in Seattle. It's a beautiful cherry tree that blooms right around when he would have been born.